I have had problems with social anxiety since my freshman year in high school. I had a horrible time that year and had many serious problems with anxiety- for example, I'd have anxiety attacks at school and cry before school all the time because I was so scared to have to go and talk to people. I was severely depressed too because I was so afraid and had virtually no friends. I was afraid that I'd never be able to make friends again.

I managed to recover in the following years and make a good group of friends in high school. I've come a long way since then. I'm a junior in college now, and I'm no longer afraid to talk to people for the most part, but I still never fully recovered from my traumatic experiences that year and sometimes issues still come up for me, and this is especially true when it comes to dating. I didn't have any male friends in high school and I've just gotten to the point that I am starting to make guy friends. I met a guy on my school's online dating site and I was so scared to call him when he gave me my number that I started crying and couldn't bring myself to do it until the next night. And occasionally when I meet people unexpectedly or if I've been thinking about them a lot and really want to make a good impression I'll have severe nervous reactions- for example, after I dated and was rejected by that guy, I saw him at the bus stop unexpectedly and got so nervous that he noticed and commented I was shaking.

Sometimes I feel like this really hinders my ability to make a good impression and show my true personality around people. And I get really depressed and down on myself when I feel like I didn't make the best impression I could, or when I feel like I acted "weird" or unnatural. I feel like it controls me sometimes, and that really gets me down.

Does anybody have any advice for me to deal with this? I've really had trouble forming close bonds since I got out of high school and now it feels like I have these reactions whenever I really want to make friends with somebody.

I know how difficult this can be to deal with, especially when you want to make a good impression. Lots of people feel this way. Perhaps you are a shy person and are afraid of getting hurt. Have you been rejected in the past? Maybe now you are very scared of being hurt again. This could be why you are not forming close bonds with people. Take baby steps, get to know people, find out if you like them or not to continue the friendship. Know it is all right to be nervous. The more you talk with people and meet people, the more practice you'll have in making friends. It sounds like you were able to do this before - so you'll make new friends. Be kind to yourself, reassure yourself that you are doing well, that you are calm and at peace, you like people and people like you. Stay positive and optimistic - wherever you go you find loving kindness and happiness.

You are a young person and still learning about yourself. The more you learn about yourself, the more you will be able to understand why you react as you do. You may want to consider therapy as a way of learning about yourself and your emotional self - even if it is for the short-term. Bless you.