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View Full Version : My ex dumped me and I feel like I can't move on


chalupa67
May 22, 2005, 03:38 PM
OK well about 3 weeks ago my ex girlfriend broke up with me. I have known this girl for 2 years and I can't get her out of my mind. She said she broke up with me because she needed to be alone and she didn't want to be with anyone right now but she said she still loves me. Im not sure if I should move on or wait it out to see if she will eventually miss me and find out that she really misses me and wants me back. I wish I knew what to do to make this easier for me. I have never hurt or cried this bad before and I really feel like I might love this girl. She has been MY life for almost 2 years. I feel like what goes around comes around though because a year ago while we were going out I dumped her because I wanted space but 4 months later we got back together because we missed each other and I reeally fell in love with her this time around and I think its because I'm more mature about it. I just really hope that with time she will discover how much fun we had together and how much she loves me. I just don't know what to do or who to talk to and it hurts so much. I was just wondering if anyone else has been through this before and what the outcome of the situation was?

Wildcat21
May 22, 2005, 06:01 PM
DON'T CALL HER!! Wait TWO months - it will be hard.

IF she calls don't answer - return her calls a little latter.

You need to learn how to manage a relationship. I have a strong feeling you got LAZY in the relatinship - too available.

You see -you feel this way because you made her your life. Woman HATE that. You stopped being a challenge. WOMAN CAN NEVER BE YOUR LIFE!! EVER - THEY ARE PART OF YOUR LIFE. YOU ALWAYS NEED TO ACT LIKE IF THEY LEFT YOU WOULD BE OK WITH IT.

You need other things in your life - friends, family, work, school, hobbies, etc.

I HAVE A STRONG Feeling GYOU SHARED WAY TOO OFTEN HOW YOU FELT ABOUT HER?

Go to this website: relationships.blog-city .com

LEARN about relationships. Learn to become a challenge again.

What I've Learned About Women **


GET A HOBBY:

Join a gym, learn to play a guitar, whatever... just don't let your
Life revolve around women.


SHUT UP:

The less women know about you, the more they want to know. Keep your
Problems (every kind of problem) to yourself, stop whining and
b!tching about everything, have a positive outlook on everything,
Don't be a pessimist.


WHAT TO TALK ABOUT:

Go with the flow... the conversation has to be about 70% her and 30%
You. Talk about her favorite subject--herself. Ask open-ended
Questions (why, how, etc.).


LISTEN:

Listen to what she has to say but never change your beliefs for a
Girl. Pay attention to what she says, she'll drop hints as to what
She wants to talk about. NEVER give a girl a direct answer, unless
The answer is no. Let her work to deserve the information you
Gradually reveal about yourself. Immediately direct the conversation
Towards her when you don't want to answer more of her annoying
Questions... bust on her by saying something like: "Come on, you can
do better than that... let's leave those questions for when we are
married."


BE DIRECT:

Don't beat around the bush. If you call a girl to ask her out, do it
Immediately after she answers; the longer you wait, the harder it will
Be. And never use the phrase "would you like to", that's begging.
Instead use "let's." "Let's go to the lake next weekend"
Sounds
Better than "Would you like to go to the lake next weekend?" The
First one is more a command than a question.


ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN:

There's nothing worse than calling a girl to ask her out and then
Asking her to decide on what to do. You are the man, therefore you
Are the one who has to take charge and decide what the two of you will
Be doing for the date. Make it interesting and different -- bowling,
Miniature golf, pool, foosball, jogging -- anything physical is a
Great idea because you won't have to do as much talking and therefore
Will have less opportunities to mess up with something that you say.


5 THINGS IN YOUR POCKETS:

1) Gum for nice breath
2) Chap Stick for nice "kissable" lips
3) A pen
4) Paper
5) Your wallet

* Always have condoms somewhere in your vehicle and house.


LESS IS MORE:

When dealing with women, less is better than more. Compliment them
Less (only sparingly and when they have been nice enough to deserve
One), call them less (once a week), stay on the phone less (5-10 minutes,
Max), see them less (once or twice a week, max), less gifts (only once
In a while, if she's been nice).


DATE MORE THAN ONE AT THE SAME TIME:

You will be happier and avoid a lot of headaches if you are dating
More than one girl. If one blows you off, you go to the next one.


MOVE ON:

This is one of the most important things to learn -- don't be clingy
And move on to the next one if a girl is giving you problems or just
Blows you off. You have a better chance of getting her back by moving
On than by being a wuss who can't live without her.


ON THEIR THOUGHTS:

Forget about what women want and all that other bullsh!t. Women don't
Even know what they want themselves, so it is your duty as a man to
Make her believe that you are what she wants. You do this by being a
Challenge and by not taking their sh!t. Treat women's thoughts as
Non-existent.


YOU ARE NUMBER 1:

Always put yourself first... protect your heart at all times and
Think from the "I" perspective when making decisions. Most women are
Selfish, so should you. Build a pedestal for yourself instead of
Building one for her.


DON'T JUST BE YOURSELF:

Read a post by Allen Thompson on this topic, it is a fascinating
Article.

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/whynot.htm


PASS THEIR TESTS:

Women will test you to see how much you will let them get away with.
It can be something as insignificant as whining about the type of
Music that you listen to, and asking you to change the station. This
Is where you put your foot down, and say something like: "Now that you
are whining about it, that's all that I will listen to". Pay
Attention to these little tests, if passed, the women are yours from
Then on because they have found a MAN.


BE A CHALLENGE:

I have covered this topic above in "less is more"... end dates
First, hang up first when on the phone with her, etc. Always have
Doubts about your relationship to her. She'll get the hint that you
Are probably seeing other girls.


BE A GOOD LOVER:

Study books or articles on becoming the best lover she's ever had. If
Done right the first time, they'll keep coming back for more.
Practice and become a good kisser as well, women love it.


DON'T LET THEM GET TO YOU:

Be calm and don't show anger when it comes to interacting with women.
Don't give them the pleasure of seeing how they can affect you so
Easily. Walk away if you need to. It is not the end of the world.
Take arguments calmly and hear her side of the story first, that's the
Easiest way to win any argument. Realize that most of the time,
She'll say that she's pissed about something and it will be something
Totally different. It is your job to find out what it is that she's
Pissed about.


HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR:

Make fun of them as often as possible... don't take life too
Seriously. Women go out on dates to have fun, not to be bored. Be
Funny every chance you get.


HAVE FUN:

After all is done, at least you will remember the good times you had,
Even if she was playing games with you. At least you had fun while
She played stupid games.


YOU ARE BETTER OFF:

Being alone is better than being with the wrong girl -- you'll be
Happier.


LOVE:

Love and relationships are for women only... they made this stuff up
While men were building and making the world what it is today. As far
As a man is concerned, love is just another word. After all, there's
No universal meaning of the word love.

Wildcat21
May 22, 2005, 06:13 PM
And stop being a WUSS! Learn to become a man!

Also go to

Sosuave .com

Doubleyoudating .com

READ ALL the articles at www.lovetactics.com

Heartache is AVOIDABLE!!

Dreamer
May 23, 2005, 01:59 AM
Hi chalupa,

The best thing that you can do at this moment is respect her wishes and give her some time and space. If she desires to talk with you, be there for her and listen to what she has to say. It sounds like she is going through something in life that she just needs to sort out on her own. I think we all go through this, and it is understandable. After all, you should understand considering how you needed the same thing not too long ago.

If she remains in contact with you and shows you, not just tells you that she loves you, than give it some time. Actions do speak louder than words anyway. If you really truly love this girl, you'll wait. It's OK to "hang out" or "date" other people in the process if you choose to, but don't get too down about this right now. I know it's easier said than done, but if it's meant to be, it WILL work out. You just need to do what you have to right now and let her rest for a little while. Ok? If you respect her wishes, she will respect yours in the future. Just as she did when you requested this very same thing.

I hope it works out for you both. I know it hurts :( And yes, I have been there. The outcome was good. Some people just need space every now and then to deal with their own issues in life. However, if this becomes a habit and she pushes you away every time she has something going on, I wouldn't waste my time with that. Hope this helps you some! Send me a message if you need more advice. I'll be here at some point. Good luck!

neverever
Apr 15, 2007, 09:12 AM
This is exactly what I was looking for!. thx!

trishette
Sep 11, 2007, 11:50 PM
Yes there is a Universal meaning for the word Love and here it is:

Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous or boastful. It is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on it's own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in the wrong but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

mckenzie134
Sep 12, 2007, 03:46 AM
Love is a make believe word!!

Jiser
Sep 12, 2007, 07:10 AM
Let this one go and move forward. Wildcat has it all lined out!

exbestfriend
Sep 20, 2007, 02:27 AM
Yes there is a Universal meaning for the word Love and here it is:

Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous or boastful. It is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on it's own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in the wrong but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

:D wow I agree with the quote you've got here... its true especially if you really loved someone so real and even more that yourself:p

trishette
Sep 20, 2007, 10:16 AM
:D wow i agree with the quote you've got here.... its true especially if you really loved someone so real and even more that yourself:p well then. Perhaps you will agree with other definitions from the Author... the Creator of the Universe. You can find more good stuff from HIS best selling book... the BIBLE.:)

rolfen
Aug 18, 2008, 05:41 PM
ok well about 3 weeks ago my ex girlfriend broke up with me. I have known this girl for 2 years and I can't get her out of my mind. She said she broke up with me becasue she needed to be alone and she didnt wanna be with anyone right now but she said she still loves me. Im not sure if i should move on or wait it out to see if she will eventually miss me and find out that she really misses me and wants me back. I wish I knew what to do to make this easier for me. I have never hurt or cried this bad before and I really feel like I might love this girl. She has been MY life for almost 2 years. I feel like what goes around comes around though becasue a year ago while we were going out I dumped her becasue i wanted space but 4 months later we got back together becasue we missed each other and I reeally fell in love with her this time around and I think its becasue im more mature about it. I just really hope that with time she will discover how much fun we had together and how much she loves me. I just dont know what to do or who to talk to and it hurts so much. I was just wondering if anyone else has been through this before and what the outcome of the situation was?
You're in position of power. If you move on (not too quick though), she will miss you and will have nobody to blame but herself, and she'll feel very bad about it.
Don't feel hurt, she hasn't left you yet, she will most probably come back... maybe she doesn't like you loving her too much and she feels pressure on her to live up to your love...
Trust that she still loves you, as she says. Give her a couple of days then call, or message her... don't suffocate her, but don't let her stay away for too long and let the love die... just my 2 cents.
When listening to her, Do NOT assume anything, and do not believe everything you hear. Her fear might make her say things that she doesn't mean.
If that doent work... maybe she found someone else...

Tthohmboy
Feb 24, 2011, 10:48 PM
Wildcat you sound friggin evil!! I would never treat my girlfriend like that. You need to relies that guys have flaws too I personally agree with some o your advise but don't treat a girl like dirt the way wildcat says