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View Full Version : Divorce/finding someone else


mcnt4g
Jun 2, 2007, 05:34 PM
I sepearted from my husband two months ago and filed for divorce a week ago, until then he didn't hardly talk to me. My main question is durning the past week after filing for divorce I have met someone who like me is going through change, neither one of us want a relationship, it is more a friendship with benefits. Is this considered cheating? I have no feelings for either, just trying to find myself and need a little help in understanding.:eek:

Fr_Chuck
Jun 2, 2007, 05:53 PM
the "benifits" is the issue, I doubt you mean they are paying your health insurance and retirement account.

So you found a person you have no feelings for, and you want to have some wild sex for the pure pleasure of it,?

If your moral values allow for this type of behavior, it is your choice, normally after you separate not much hurts toward court, from a legal standpoint, yes you are still married and having sex with someone else is still adultry.

phillysteakandcheese
Jun 2, 2007, 10:39 PM
Is this considered cheating?
From a purely technical or legal point of view, it may well be.
From a moral or personal point of view, I wouldn't call it cheating.

Unlike the Father though, I don't have a problem with a woman looking for no-strings attached sex, especially after coming out of a bad marriage. If I were single, I'd be all over those newly divorced, hot for action type of women... :)

Like the Father implies though, what you classify as simple "with benefits" behavior right now could easily become something much more complicated, and something that actually impedes your recovery from getting out of a bad marriage.

Many guys can do this, but many women cannot.
Whether you can pull it off or not, is really determined by your core beliefs. Maybe you truly believe it is simple "physical release", but maybe deep down your afraid and are using sex as the control mechanism to keep from feeling alone.

dontbmean2me
Jun 12, 2007, 06:52 AM
I sepearted from my husband two months ago and filed for divorce a week ago, until then he didn't hardly talk to me. My main question is durning the past week after filing for divorce I have met someone who like me is going through change, neither one of us want a relationship, it is more a friendship with benefits. Is this considered cheating? I have no feelings for either, just trying to find myself and need a little help in understanding.:eek:
I hooked up with someone while me and my husband dwere separated. I didn't consider it cheating. Unfortunately me and my husband got back together because he kept threatening to kill himself if I went through with the divorce. But if you're going through with the divorce, I would just keep it on the DL until the divorce is final. If papers are already filed, though, I wouldn't sweat it.