I have a 5 year old boy. His father has not seen him since he was 2
Months old and I do not know where he is and I want to apply to the
Courts to get exclusive custody.

I have tried this once before, without a lawyer, but the father never
Showed up to the hearing and the judge didn't grant me a single thing
I asked for. The father still has joint custody. I told and showed the
Judge records of physical abuse on me when he broke my arm as well
Records of marijuana abuse and a police record. Oh one other thing I
Had my son as a high schooler and the father was a teacher at my then
School. I know. Stupid but, those are my facts.

Current order says nothing as to me relocating with my son and nothing
With regards to child support, which I never received, and frankly
Don't want.. not that he has any money anyway. I want to leave the
State (CA) with my soon to be husband and we are caught as to what
Really we should do.

Does anyone know what the best way to try to get exclusive custody of
My son knowing that the father will probably not show up to court
Again even if we are able to track him down because he is scared of
The police. Also the father will probably, out of spite, if he finds
Out I am now happy being with someone else fight every thing I try to
Accomplish.

Keep fighting. I might only be 19 years old but I have spent what feels like an eternity in court rooms. My mother (a single mom with 3 kids) had the same problem nothing was granted to her for years. She kept going to court though, over and over because my step father like your X was scared of court and the police. She went for 2 years 7 times until the time my step dad DID show up in court and that was the day that that same jerk of a judge granted full custody to my mother in front of my POS step father. That was when I was 14 my brother was 9 and my sister 12 it took a long time but it was worth it. My advice keep going never give up never stop presing forward

As long as the order you do has nothing regarding you not being able to relocate the child or move out of the state, you are free to move. In order to obtain full custody without the father you will need to go through the steps for abandonment. You will need to post an ad in newspapers for 4 weeks I believe it is. You have to prove a good faith effort in locating the absent parent before a judgment against them will be ordered in their absence. You really should get a lawyer to do this, it can be done! A lawyer would know the exact steps and default papers that would need to be filed with the courts to satisfy all your obligations legally. At the very least you can call a few lawyers locally and find out what you would need to do. I am in Cali as well and they will do free consultations over the phone. They do 1 so you can call as many as you'd like and get all the info you would pretty much need to know. But like I said, procedurally there is a lot of things that you would need to do so getting a lawyer would be best. But it CAN be done.

Here is a link to the statute you would need to go with for abandonment for "extreme parent disinterest" as well as the abuse issues and even to have your husband adopt your son as his: Grounds for Termination of Parental Rights California - (http://library.adoption.com/termination-of-parental-rights/grounds-for-termination-of-parental-rights-california/article/8394/1.html#cooliris)

Good luck!

Start voting Republican. Sounds like you had a liberal jackass appointed judge. Dem lib judges don't give a rats @$!about your rights as a decent parent.His heart bleeds for the dumb and criminal.