Hi all, I've not posted for a while but this site was a life-line to me last year when my ex-husband was messing me about. He's now married and I worried that he would change for his new wife and she would get the life I wanted - I was assured that leopards don't change their spots and I want to share a story that proves the statement.

A few weeks ago I bumped into my first love, we were 18 when he dumped me (25 years ago!) I thought I would die, I loved him so much. At 18 he was good-looking, but knew it, he's now unrecognisable as the same guy (i.e. he's fat and bald!). We arranged to meet for a drink (for old times sake) and it was nice and friendly. He text me later that night to say he wanted to meet again and we arranged another date which he then cancelled. He suggested an alternative night but I already had plans with my children.

So, on the night in question I went out as planned and he bombarded me with texts saying he loved me and why was I messing him about? I didn't know I was, I just wouldn't let my children down for him. I stayed calm and answered as best I could. He then sent a text saying I hadn't changed in 25 years and I was still a fu*king liar(?) he's glad he dumped me and he's glad he hadn't shown me his house worth half a million plus his 250K in the bank - to which I replied that I was far richer than him because of my children and money didn't motivate me (he's never married or had kids or even held down a relationship). He then tried to trash my qualities as a mother!
All this just because I wasn't dancing to his tune!

Although this abuse upset me at first, it suddenly dawned on me that he was the same jerk he was at 18 and had learned no lessons in life, he was just older and fatter!

So, if you're heartbroken at the moment don't despair - in 25 years time they will still be the same jerk that dumped you even if you don't recognise them, and you won't care a hoot! Look forward - you're not together for a reason.

I agree and thank you for reaffirming that for me. Am sorry you had to go through that but you came through in flying colors. You are so correct when you say, "you're not together for a reason."

"you're not together for a reason."

I love this sentence... how very true. At one given point in time, what we are losing seems most precious and as we grow, with life's experiences we realize there are other people in our lives who are so much more important to us than jerks... but u know what thanks to these jerks that we get life's important lessons and had these jerks not been there, we would not have been able to value life in other aspects as in children and other fulfilling relationships...

I never thought I'd say thanks to an ex for dumping me, lets hope I feel the same way about my ex-husband, but sooner than 25 years please!

What a t*at...

Good job he did dump you, he did you a favour, yes, he was and is a Jerk by the sounds of it.

"you're not together for a reason.", you are right, that reason in your case is that he is a tw*t.

Hi Geoff, best of it was he had the audacity to say he'd made the right decision in dumping me when he was 18! 'for me too' I answered, after which the tw*t ran out of ideas.

Hi Geoff, best of it was he had the audacity to say he'd made the right decision in dumping me when he was 18! 'for me too' I answered, after which the tw*t ran out of ideas.

Its because his life is most likely going bad and this was one rejection he could not take, but that is far from your problem.

I think you've hit the nail on the head, his work is his life and I think I would have been a nice accessory for him. I guess I should feel sorry for him, but I just can't be bothered. It's a great feeling that I'm not the push-over I used to be!