tiggerella
May 19, 2005, 03:12 AM
I have a question and would like your opinion:
My husband (whom I'll call Bob), to whom I'll be married 22 years in July, is making me crazy. You see, when we first got together, he was the exact opposite of his mother (whom I'll call Terry - and who passed away in 1989 due to complications of M.S.), but now he's turning into her clone. Here are a few examples:
1) Bob always liked a variety of musical styles (as do I) - with the exception of country because Terry would only allow country to be played in her home, so the only argument I got from him when we first got together was because I had a couple of country albums that I had kept in memory of my father. When I finally got him to understand my reasons for keeping them (and with a sincere promise not to play them in his presence), I got to keep my Dad's country albums. In more recent years, however, Bob has gone to the point that all he'll listen to is country - and he's started to give myself and our two teenaged children no end of grief because we still like listening to a variety of styles.
2) Bob hated the clothes his mother picked out for him because they were always chinos and button-front shirts, so when he started working and buying his own clothes, he bought lots of clothes that his mother didn't approve of. When we got pregnant with our first child, Bob stated that he would always allow our children to have some say in the clothes that they had to wear so they wouldn't hate us like he hated his mother for her clothing choices. When our eldest started into his teen years and was being "trashcanned" regularly for "looking like a nerd", he started wearing odd clothing he'd picked up at Goodwill, coloring his hair odd colors, and creating weird hair styles. The kids started leaving him alone because they thought he was strange, but he still had plenty of friends and was even elected Prom King. Our daughter, met with the same peer abuse, did the same, and is happier and healthier for it. I see no harm in this, as they still get high grades and stay out of trouble, but Bob is always putting the kids down for their clothing choices and trying to force them into chinos and button-front shirts.
3) When we first got together, Bob acknowledged my contributions to the housekeeping we share, complaining that Terry would never thank him for the housework he completed before she got home from work, but would instead point out all the things he'd missed. The older he gets, however, the more often I hear that HE'S the ONLY one who EVER does ANYTHING - and the rest of us are deadbeats despite the fact that, after a full day at work, I still come home and clean cat boxes, vaccuum floors, etc. He's gotten so bad that the kids refuse to do their assigned chores unless he's not going to be home for several days because they see no point in doing it if he's going to complain that it wasn't done right and HE has to do it over.
So, can anyone tell me whether my mother-in-law's ghost is possessing my hubby - or whether he's just genetically predisposed to be a total anus by the time he's 50? If it's the former, I'd like to call in an exorcist. If the latter, I may be needing to call a marriage counselor or lawyer rather than continue planning for the renewal of our vows for our 25th anniversary. Any psychics out there who'd care to answer this one?
My husband (whom I'll call Bob), to whom I'll be married 22 years in July, is making me crazy. You see, when we first got together, he was the exact opposite of his mother (whom I'll call Terry - and who passed away in 1989 due to complications of M.S.), but now he's turning into her clone. Here are a few examples:
1) Bob always liked a variety of musical styles (as do I) - with the exception of country because Terry would only allow country to be played in her home, so the only argument I got from him when we first got together was because I had a couple of country albums that I had kept in memory of my father. When I finally got him to understand my reasons for keeping them (and with a sincere promise not to play them in his presence), I got to keep my Dad's country albums. In more recent years, however, Bob has gone to the point that all he'll listen to is country - and he's started to give myself and our two teenaged children no end of grief because we still like listening to a variety of styles.
2) Bob hated the clothes his mother picked out for him because they were always chinos and button-front shirts, so when he started working and buying his own clothes, he bought lots of clothes that his mother didn't approve of. When we got pregnant with our first child, Bob stated that he would always allow our children to have some say in the clothes that they had to wear so they wouldn't hate us like he hated his mother for her clothing choices. When our eldest started into his teen years and was being "trashcanned" regularly for "looking like a nerd", he started wearing odd clothing he'd picked up at Goodwill, coloring his hair odd colors, and creating weird hair styles. The kids started leaving him alone because they thought he was strange, but he still had plenty of friends and was even elected Prom King. Our daughter, met with the same peer abuse, did the same, and is happier and healthier for it. I see no harm in this, as they still get high grades and stay out of trouble, but Bob is always putting the kids down for their clothing choices and trying to force them into chinos and button-front shirts.
3) When we first got together, Bob acknowledged my contributions to the housekeeping we share, complaining that Terry would never thank him for the housework he completed before she got home from work, but would instead point out all the things he'd missed. The older he gets, however, the more often I hear that HE'S the ONLY one who EVER does ANYTHING - and the rest of us are deadbeats despite the fact that, after a full day at work, I still come home and clean cat boxes, vaccuum floors, etc. He's gotten so bad that the kids refuse to do their assigned chores unless he's not going to be home for several days because they see no point in doing it if he's going to complain that it wasn't done right and HE has to do it over.
So, can anyone tell me whether my mother-in-law's ghost is possessing my hubby - or whether he's just genetically predisposed to be a total anus by the time he's 50? If it's the former, I'd like to call in an exorcist. If the latter, I may be needing to call a marriage counselor or lawyer rather than continue planning for the renewal of our vows for our 25th anniversary. Any psychics out there who'd care to answer this one?