Hi I'm 19 years old and my somewhat boyfriend is 19 going on 20 I'm about to have a baby and he's the father.through out my whole pregnancy he's been mean he's been calling me names, cheating on me, and stressing me out. Now he says he's going to take me to court to get half his rights on the baby he says oh well the baby's going to live with me for two weeks then with you for two weeks but I don't know how that's going to work I don't want him to have the baby he can see her but nothing more you know. Anyway he doesent deserve it he hasent been there for me at all and hasent helped me out with the pregnancy every time I need him he says your dumb I don't have to do anything for you and when I say your not a good person you don't take care of me and help me he just keeps on the name calling... I just want to know what to do when it comes to court and he wants half his rights... he says he going to tell his lawyer to say that I'm mental and unfit and that I can't take care of myself let alone a child wich is not true. Please someone give me advice and help me out..

His lawyer is probably going to expect hearing that you are a mentally unfit mother. Child custody battles are often just one person trying to attack the credibility of the other person by taking any angle that they can.
Fortunately, our court system doesn't run on hearsay. If the lawyer decides to pursue this, you will be formally evaluated by a forensic psychologist with experience doing parental fitness evaluations. You may wish to bring up the fact that he has cheated on you and it appears he is emotionally abusing you. A judge will look at this objectively. Take this for what it's worth, but it is my experience that in similar situations such as this, a judge will tend to lean towards giving the mother custody, all things being equal. Make sure you get a lawyer too, and make sure they have an extensive background in child custody disputes.

Off topic question: Do you know why he wants your baby? This seems very odd to me.
Good Luck!

Sorry Atta, got to spread the love.

I will also add that very few judges will split custody with an infant at the beginning. At least to the magnitude that you ex is expecting.

What you need to do is document, document, document. If he leaves you a nasty text, don't delete it. If he leaves you a nasty voice mail, don't delete it. Get all the documentation you can.

Great job to you too Autt!! LOL

Krissy, think you meant to post this here:


you know i dont understand that he just wants her to just say yea there i got her anyways hes not going to take care of her he says he would be too embarrased to take her out anywhere and he wouldnt change her diaper and everything else that comes with it so i really dont know what goes on in his little head

The father's relationship with you is no longer what matters. He is the father and will have certain rights. Takes two to create a life. That said, it is extremely unlikely that he would get even overnight visits for some time... most judges realize the stability a newborn needs, especially if your nursing the baby. As previously said... document everything just in case. This will not keep him from being able to be around your child. Again, he has rights... just as he has responsibilities. Let the courts handle him. Allow reasonable visitation (to show your cooperating) even if it is with supervision or only for a few hours at a time. Don't allow his abuse to hurt you. Block his calls, always screen your calls, have a third party around as a witness. But ultimately... be aware that he will not parent the same way he is treating you. He will be different as a parent than he is as a boyfriend. Just because he doesn't want to be in a relationship doesn't mean he should have all rights threatened. Cathy

I don't even think he really wants this baby he says he wouldn't take her anywheres because he's too embarrassed he says he won't change her diapers and everything else that goes with it I just don't know what do do I don't want him to have her... he has more money then me though... he sells drugs and he's got a LOT of money and just started his awn business with his dad.. would that give him more rights or ?

Krissy, please just scroll down to the Answer this Question box and type your answer in there, please do not start another thread for your answer.

I know this place can be a little confusing to navigate until you have been here for a while.