I have a very young (emotionaly) 4 year old, who is very bright, stubborn and spoiled. My problem is he pees in the potty like a "big" boy about 50 % of the time goes in pullups the rest. Refuses to poop. Potty charts worked for a while, bribary does not work, embarrassment doesent work, ignoring it dosenot work. Any ideas

Have you tried getting rid of the pullups? They are very similar to a diaper and your boy needs to feel the wetness and feel how it is uncomfortable.

Even though pull-ups are a nice idea, I don't find that they work for potty training during the day. I used them overnight with my oldest child, and not at all with my youngest. I found that as long as I was willing to put a pull up on my oldest she thought of it as a diaper and felt free to pee in it. It was messy in the beginning when I tossed pull ups and went straight to underpants, but it worked much better and relatively quickly. Try to stick with only big boy pants during the day for a few weeks, and pull ups only overnight. I realize this will take a lot of dedication and you may not be able to go many places with your child, but consistency is key. He will learn to use the potty all the time if you stop allowing pull ups to be an option. Good luck!

Believe me< I know I should get rid of the pullups but he refuses to put on underware. We tried every design known to man; star wars, spongebob, bob the builder, elmo etc, etc.

How do I convince him to wear them?

Hun, who is the parent here? You convince him by putting them on him yourself.

From what I have seen from your post, forgive me if I am wrong, but you are being the softy, he knows how to get what he wants. You need to stand firm, be consistent. He is too old to be wearing pullups now. He needs to start getting ready for big boy school, and big boy schools don't allow pullups.

Is daddy in the picture? Maybe Daddy can have a talk with him about big boy underwear?

I agree you need to get rid of the pull ups. All of the above post are indeed correct. Remember consistency and remember that he is the child and you are the mother. He is too young to be controlling when and what he will wear. I hope you are strong and stay consistent or he might be very embarrassed to go to school. That would be very sad. Good luck!

Yep the big boy school threat worked for us... hes in underwear 24/7 now... although we still have a few accidents...

Lets all remember he is 4. try cheerios in the toilet, make it a game. My son's daddy wouldn't help train him, so I put cheerios in the toilet and told him to sink the cheerios. Gross, but fun for him. Let me know if you try it and how it works, just remember to be persistent with him

Yes, Blanket, he is 4, which means he should be out of pullups by now. At least during the day.

I do like the cheerios idea. I used fruit loops with my oldest 2 boys.

I used raisins and M&M's to train, they got one or two every time they went potty then they were good to go. I should have done the cheerio thing though, less cavities! LOL!

They do make the "rubber" underpants. Just put them over his underwear. So, while he might have an accident in his underwear - his clothes will stay dry. They even make the two in one - underwear on the inside and plastic on the outside. They aren't as absorbant at night though.
I would put the pull-ups away from sight. It will be inconvient for a while, but this is more a battle of wills than anything else. And if he doesn't like the underwear - don't put anything at all on him - let him know that the pullups are no longer an option.
Good Luck - he will get it - I don't know of any grown boys that still wet their pants - so it won't last forever.

I did the Cheerios thing and it did work like a charm with my son.

You said that you tried the bribery thing, but how did you do it? One thing that I did was to go to the Dollar Store and picked out gifts that I wrapped in tissue paper (preferably their favorite color). I kept the gifts in a basket well out of reach, but in a place where they could still see that they were there. Every time they successfully sat on the toilet, they would get to pick out of the goody basket. Every time they sat on the toilet and actually peed or pooped, they were able to pick out two gifts. At the beginning, I would tell them, "It is time to sit on the potty now." Do this as part of your normal routine, i.e. right before you sit down for breakfast or as soon as you get up in the morning, etc. Do it EVERY DAY. Again, you are the parent and he is the child.

Children who are being potty trained become sensitive/scared when making #2 and this is completely normal. My daughter had the hardest time with this. To overcome this, I put a small bag together that I kept in the bathroom closet that held party hats, birthday blowers, noise makers, and confetti. I told her that when she went poop in the toilet for the first time, we would have a poopy party parade. I continued to remind her of this EVERY time she sat on the toilet. Sure enough, the first time that she went poop in the toilet, we took out the bag, put on the party hats, blew in the blowers, used the noise makers and threw confetti around while we paraded through the first floor of our house. It was soooo much fun!! And it worked!!

Again, get rid of the pull ups, make sure that you are consistent and that you are not giving in. I agree with the other posts in that your son KNOWS that you will give in and that you will just put on another pull up because it is easier for you. Reserve the pull ups for night times only in the beginning and slowly but surely ween him off these. I hope that you try all of the suggestions that you have been given by everyone, as they do work (some may work better than others). When I say try, know that none of these will work unless your are consistent with them. Doing it for one day here and one day there is not good enough. You need to do it every day and many times in a day. If you work, maybe taking a couple of days off work so that you can focus on the process is what you need to do. Only you can determine if that is possible. Whatever you choose, you need to be committed to the process. Good luck to you.

Why is it now a days we have to do things like this? I am not saying I disagree because I have done these things too, BUT, haven't you heard grandmas stories or your parents stories on how they just did it because they were told too? What are we doing these days? Are we just completely spoiling our kids? I should probably just start another thread about this, huh?

I can see your view point. My suggestions have to do with being a little creative when other things have not worked and trying to make a stressful situation for a child a little less stressful. Again, whatever anyone chooses to do in this or other learning situations, the key is consistency.

I do the same things you do, dollar store, cheerios, everything. I guess I was just asking that question to get a few different views, I don't think it is necessarily wrong. Just very differnent from what our parents and grandparents do. Thanks

Thank you for all your great advice.

Here's my up date. He has been such a great boy. He has been urinating al the time like a big boy standing up in the toilet. He even told me today that he would try big boy underwear tomorrow.. he is consistently dry in the morning and is very proud of himself.

My question now is he is very hesitant to go poop in the potty. Any suggestions about this problem?

I would imagine that pooping in his pants will be embarrassing and uncomfortable. You could talk to him about it and see if there are fears that you can ease for him.
I have to say, this is a little out of my element because my daughter had no problem with this - it just came naturally. Maybe now that he is staying dry and sees the positive result he will want to do #2. Make sure to give lots of praise for this.

Yes the pull ups must go. I simply quit putting them on my daughter and within a few days she was "trained"

I did have this problem with one of my boys, it soon ended after underwear and hiding under the table or in a corner to poop, I just caught his little red face and stuck him on the toilet. Hee hee, sounds cute, but sometimes it was hard to catch him. Good luck he and YOU are well on your way to the "big kid" stage!

My son is doing the hiding and pooping thing. When caught he asks for privacy and then asks to be changed right away

When we saw our son bearing down with a red face, we just picked him up and put him right on the toilet and he had no choice to let it plop in there. After we did that a few times he wasn't so uneasy with the whole idea. Sometimes we just have to give them a little push in the direction we want them to go in.

Out of curiousity, do you have a training potty or a potty seat that fits on the toilet? I don't know if it makes a difference - but we just put the seat over the toilet seat so we wouldn't have to transition. My daughter also went to the bathroom with me all the time - so it wasn't strange for her.

My son has and still is coming into the bathroom with us. We have a potty seat that is attachet to the toilet. But for some strange reason he is afraid to sit on I t. we flushed his poop from the pull up into the toilet so he can se it was OK. He still did not want to have anything to do with the potty seat and poop!

I guess it is a matter of timing, getting him when he starts and cannot stop, then it might be easier. I never did use any sort of potty contraption, just the regular seat that we all used. Maybe it looks different and he doesn't want it on there. Or maybe he is being stubborn and you need to win this one!

We had to use a potty seat - my daughter kept falling in! :)

The fact that he does the hiding thing is a clue that he is recognizing when he has to go. I would be more worried if he just continued to do what he was doing (i.e. playing, etc.) while pooping. As with everything else, awareness is always the first step in accomplishing anything. My daughter had a harder time with pooping and the party hat/parade thing worked for her. However, since wants privacy, maybe this would be a bit much for him. Also, things that work for girls may not work for boys. Basically, consistency of putting him on the toilet as soon as he is starting to go and hide may be what is needed. Congratulations about the fact that you have been successful with the first hurdle. No kid that I know was ever fully potty trained and poopy trained all in the same day. One thing will happen at a time. Good luck and keep us posted.

I did not realize that there was another page of posts when I posted my last response. Anyway, the potty seat helped us too. Maybe the reason that your son does not like it is because of the sensation of sticking to the cushy part of the seat. It may also be the fact that your son is trying anything and everything to try and not have to use the toilet. In the past if he put up a fight, then you would give in and the subject, as far as he was concerned, was closed. Just know that sooner or later he will be fully trained. Be consistent in your actions and let him know that you will be firm, but understanding at the same time. Good luck!!

He is totally pottytrained!! We went on a vacation with some older cousins and when they left he announced he wanted underwear and never looked back.

Wow, you go girl... That is great. Is he so big now or what...

Congratulations!! A lot of times kids will not do something unless they see another kid that they look up to and admire doing something.