Hai

My boyfriend and I would have a great sex life if only he didn't ejaculate so quickly. How can I help him hold his horses?

Experiment to find positions or activities which keep him in a pre-ejaculatory phase longer than what is normal for him.

My ex husband had this issue. The therapist that specialized in sexual issues told us to keep bringing him to the edge then backing off. This was to slowly get him used to not climaxing right off. It's more like a learned response. This all requires his telling you and stopping before he gets off. Hope this helps. Cathy

If both off you are keen to co-operate (which isn't always the case) you can try this method. It is based on a special 'penis grip'
The finger-grip abolishes the desire to climax, if the couple uses it over a period of weeks, they can usually re-train the man so he can last much longer.
· You place your hand so that the thumb is on one side of the man's erect penis (the nearer side to you when you are facing him).
· Your index and middle fingers are on the other side
· The index finger is just above the ridge of the glans (the 'head'), while the middle finger is just below the ridge.
· When your partner feels that he's near to a climax, he tells you.
· You can squeeze his shaft firmly between your thumb and the other two fingers. (Don't worry: it's painless!)
This can help your partner to last up to half an hour or more .
Try it!!

I agree with Cathy, in that getting 'close' and then stopping will usually work. Also you can have him come maybe an hour or two before the two of you want to really be together. And the post just above mine is a trick I remember being used in Japan and is Very effective.

Slow down.

I think the post above mine is the easiest way to delay. Just tell your guy to slow down a few times in between and especially when he is about to ejaculate. It also increases the pleasusre level for the guy.;)

hai

My boyfriend and I would have a great sex life if only he didn't ejaculate so quickly. How can I help him hold his horses?

Here is something that will work very effectively.

Take care of him orally to get the first time over quickly, then give him a little time and have the second time around be more about you. I promise you he won't be so quick to finish the second round. In time he can learn to control this. Plus as he gets older its natural to last longer.

I believe they make some kind of lubricant, or cream you can put on him that is suppose to help.

Have him masturbate or gove him oral until he comes. He should also do Kegels (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise). They allow him to last longer.

He can learn the hold-off technique (and have a good time) by himself to build up his ability to hold-off for you tell him to practise the technique until he can hold off climax about 6 - 10 times, then he should be able to slow down with you and maintain erection and no-climax for a reasonable amount of time for you.

Forget creams etc. they are not always going to be there when he needs them!
Doing kegel excercises are what all men and women should do-they are isometric exercises for the pelvic floor, many older people wouldn't have to suffer from incontinence if they did this in their youth and continue to do so.

Cheers

I listen to Cosmo Radio, on sirius radio, and they are constantly talking about this subject. Dr. Ian, who has his own website, and has written "He comes next," and "she comes first" discusses a simple quick way to delay his climax. Checkout his site Ian Kerner (http://www.IanKerner.com)

The stop start method. Bring him to the brink of no return,then stop everything you are doing,let him calm down,then do it again,then again, until he learns how to hold his orgasm.

Now listen... before we blame it all on GONE IN 60 SECONDS... lets make sure YOU have taken full responsbility. Sometimes women don't realize that if we're in the missionary... and guys on top... you might want to do something with those hands.

I think women sometimes look for that right sinsation from their male counter part and forget to actually deliver their end of the bargain. I mean, if I have my snake inside your grass, you better be doing something with your hands.

I must say... much of the cause of QUICK SHOTS comes from lack of your end of the bargain. I'm telling you right now... if I'm sticking it to you... MAN WANTS HIS GRABBED... rubbed, scratched, back firmly gripped, hair pulled, eyes tongued...

Okay, maybe not the tongue on the eyes thing... but now that I got your attention... If you do your part... I can guarantee that MAN will do HIS.

Can I get an amen my brothers??

The guy needs to learn self control... when I was 18 I once went for 4 hours straight (with one pop). And yeah... she was walking funny and had a smirk on her face for the next week.

No we didn't go at it like rabbits... but we did go nonstop.

If he is in control (meaning missionary) there is no excuse for being a minute man unless he only gets it once a week or so.

You do this by thinking of two different things at once... focus on the one non sexual thought. But don't neglect paying attention to her too. Between those two things its real hard to get over stimulated playing hide the sausage. He won't learn self control overnight... but with practice he will learn how.

If I managed to figure this out on my own almost 30 years ago, with the internet resources easily available now there is no excuse.

I think he should go to a sex therapist... an expert in premature ejaculation as well a other sexual dysfunctions.

several questions

can you get yourself off with self stimulation?

can he get you off orally?

what positions do you tend to try?

while you might be interested, do you ever feel completely lost in the moment during sex?

how fast is fast for him? Just because he is going firtst doesn't mean he's coming too fast... it depends on a number of variables, including your state of mind and readiness.

have you been able to climax with other lovers?

lets start there, and then we can talk about some things.

OP hasn't been to the site since early December.

Closed.