View Full Version : More Confused the Ever
Paola_17
May 19, 2007, 07:42 PM
so me and this guy have been together for a month and about 4 days...when we hang out together its great...(couldn't be better) but then when we go our separate ways...everything starts to fall down. meaning that i basically have to be ALL UP ON HIM... calling, texting him and writing cute letters that come from my heart. i really care about him. and until this day i have no dought that me and him are meant to have something together.
what i'm confused about is that i keep asking him why doesnt' he calls me? and he gives me this BS saying that he's depressed and he doesnt want to make me depressed....WELLLLLL he's making me depressed by not calling at all. and every time i call him, it seems like he wants to rush me off the phone saying that he's going to call me later but never does. so what should i do?? i really need some advice...because im trying to make this work but sometimes it seems like im the only one trying. :(
Stunning07
May 19, 2007, 07:51 PM
Listen I'm sorry to say but the more you call and text this person the more you annoy him the more he wants space, My GF use to do that to me all the time, and it was so annoying, it does't seem like it but, he actually likes you doing that, annoying him, its human nature, he has all your attention, ever since I my girlfriend stopped annoying me... I stratered doing what she did so I'm basically in your shoes, and I'm training myself to quit bugging! Her! Its hard because they don't understand but learn to be mysterious and show him your busy give it two weeks and he will act the way you want him to, I'm telling you that because it happened to me. And other people I know good luck
Paola_17
May 19, 2007, 07:58 PM
Thanks so much!!!!.... i really appreciate it....the only thing that im afraid about is that he gets kinda upset when i dont call him...and he starts telling me that i dont show him enough attention.
talaniman
May 19, 2007, 08:10 PM
He likes what your doing, but doesn't want to do it back. Guess he figures you do enough for you both. Not very equal, but who am I to judge.
Paola_17
May 19, 2007, 08:16 PM
He likes what your doing, but doesn't want to do it back. Guess he figures you do enough for you both. Not very equal, but who am I to judge.
yea i think your kinda right....so maybe i should do what u told me and stop calling and texting him....and if he complains then i'll tell him that he doesn't show me enough attention either. but let's just hope everything works out.
Stunning07
May 19, 2007, 08:39 PM
No don't tell him that! Just do the exact thing he does with his pathetic excuses... that's all paly his game
AW805
May 19, 2007, 08:53 PM
Its only been a month - why get so intense? Stop calling and texting so much. Whether you're a guy or girl - that's enough to push anyone away.
Emerald19
May 19, 2007, 09:36 PM
Ya the last person is right. Trust me don't rush things and play the field because all your going to do is stress yourself out for nothing. When you guys hang out hang out when you don't you don't. Don't trip over this if it doesn't play in your favor talk to someone else. Always keep your options open
Paola_17
May 20, 2007, 04:33 AM
but is not like im callin or textin him 24/7 ....i only call him once a day and if he doesnt pick up then i text him sayin that i miss him...that's all i do. the thing that bothers me is that i always have to call or else we wont talk.
talaniman
May 20, 2007, 05:50 AM
thing that bothers me is that i always have to call or else we wont talk.
If he can't give a little to get a little, thats a red flag that he is selfish or controlling. Talk to him about your concerns and if he refuses to change and accommodate your feelings, you have two options, rethink the relationship, or stop texting. Sometimes the only respect you get are the ones you demand.
Stunning07
May 20, 2007, 07:34 AM
ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS YOU NEED TO START! Today ill start with you, don't argue don't fight simply do what he's doing play it off smart
Paola_17
May 20, 2007, 10:10 AM
ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS YOU NEED TO START! today ill start with you, dont argue dont fight simply do what he's doin play it off smart
thanks so much.... i guess we are both going to be playing the same game.
Stunning07
May 20, 2007, 12:02 PM
Yes its very hard especailly since were going to be the ones that are holding it in...
Paola_17
May 20, 2007, 04:21 PM
this is hard...i havent called or texted him all day
diya
May 20, 2007, 05:22 PM
I think you're going overboard with the whole thing... and scaring the guy away. Just one month, and you expect things to be falling in place as you desired. Honey, it doesn't work that way. You know something, if you want to be respected and want this guy to be with you for a longer period, then take my advice... please try to get to know him with little slow moves... he doesn't call or text is only because he might be trying to see the depth of waters. Either way you'll be the loser. If he guesses u're too deep into it already, then he would know he has you to empower control, and his chase charm would also vanish... so this is going to be fatal again. IF you want to retain this guy, make the right moves... with dignity... DON'T SHOW EMOTIONS(which u're already doing by constantly texting and calling) and trust me, will be manipulated later on.
Forcing him one way or the other to call / text may result in some serious pain. If he wants to, he will. Just give him space, and give him time. But don't be all depressed either because that'll get you no where. Act okay with things, and be okay with things. CALM DOWN. Breathe, and be okay.
Paola_17
May 20, 2007, 05:27 PM
Thanks for the advice.....what do i do if he calls or texts???...should i act like im busy?? when i really have been waiting for him to call all day long.....but just try not to show it?? help needed =[
diya
May 20, 2007, 05:43 PM
When he calls, say" yeah we can talk for 2 min and then I need to do something very urgent" and hang up precisely after the initial few min... show you have other things to do as well... it's human nature, when we get attention, we take it for granted... and that's precisely what your b/f is doing... I repeat... it's too early for you to wait for anyone's calls... u're putting your life on hold for an uncertain future with someone you hardly know. If you stay normal and concentrate on knowing him more than jumping onto things, you'll never have to write a post on BReak ups here... later on that is..!
Paola_17
May 20, 2007, 05:46 PM
When he calls, say" yeah we can talk for 2 min and then I need to do something very urgent" and hang up precisely after the intial few min....show you have other things to do as well....it's human nature, when we get attention, we take it for granted...and that's precisely what your b/f is doing.....I repeat....it's too early for you to wait for anyone's calls....u're putting your life on hold for an uncertain future with someone you hardly know. If you stay normal and concentrate on knowing him more than jumping onto things, you'll never have to write a post on BReak ups here...later on that is....!!!
THANKS SO MUCH.....that was really helpfull.... :)
Paola_17
May 21, 2007, 04:28 PM
i have another problem...would anyone like to help?
Stunning07
May 21, 2007, 09:31 PM
Wahts that problem let it out
Emerald19
May 21, 2007, 09:48 PM
Man don't even call or text him. Eventually he will call and say some bull like why you don't call no more or text me that's when you let him know its because you're the only one who is making an effort in the relationship. Then let him know if he wonna kick it then holla you, and don't call him no more that will show you if he really into you. Because if he doesn't call or anything after that then it wasn't nothing at all you were just someone he ed with when he was bored. You may be a little hurt but at least you didn't invest 3 years to the guy, and it will be easier for you to move on. Also try not to fall for someone so fast people are grimmy. Just take everything day by day. Trust you'll find someone
manga
May 21, 2007, 11:07 PM
I Agree With Talaniman Only Because I've Been In Yourb/f Shoes. Just Don't Let Him Take Advantage Of You Always Wanting To Give Him Attention. Being Depressed Is Rough But It Gets To The Point Where He Needs To Be Responsible In Taking Part In The Relationship Also. If He Sees Or Knows You'll Call Him Without His Efforts He's Depending On You, Which Is Ok But Not To The Point Where He's Leaving You Dry Without Any Reciprocation
Paola_17
May 22, 2007, 04:50 AM
thank u guys....:o ..now my thing is that he went to this party on friday and i asked him if he was goin and he said NO...some of my friends was gonna be there so of course i was gonna get some feed backs. When i asked him again the next day, he said he did go and he only danced with his friend and some1 else.
Accordin to ppl it he danced with his EX too and that it wasnt even dancin...it was almost EXPLICIT. now i dont mind that he was dancin bcuz thats wat u do in a party but LIKE THAT!....then some other ppl is comin at me tellin me he talks to girls from the other skool that is the same buildin as ours. and iunno wat kind of talk because i really dont mind him havin "girl" friends either. and after i told him about the party he said that he was just dancin and he gave me this lame excuse "IT DOESNT MATTER CUZ WHO AM I COMIN BACK TO?"
well first i dont care who u comin back to as long as u come back clean without doin some BS along the way. and i really thought about this and my heart wants to be with him but then again he needs to make up his mind because im not a TOY.:( :( :(
Stunning07
May 22, 2007, 12:21 PM
Back off now that's all he's messin with you put your foot down its time for you to do what he's doing that's all you got to do
talaniman
May 22, 2007, 12:51 PM
If this relationship has no honest communication, and doesn't make you happy, what's the point. That's not caring and sharing and it sure ain't love so what is it??
Paola_17
May 22, 2007, 04:48 PM
we're in high school...i'm a junior and he's a senior....
he does make me happy and today i called to try to talk to him about the situation
and he said he didnt want to talk to me bcuz he feels like i dont need him...I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHIN!!!and isnt callin and try to fix somethin that i didnt even do a sign of NEEDIN.
im so confused and i dont even know what to do anymore.
talaniman
May 22, 2007, 06:09 PM
Don't beg for the attentions of an immature boy. Leave him alone and let him sulk.
Paola_17
May 22, 2007, 07:02 PM
that's what my friends told me...he's 18 and im 16 and from everyone elses point of view im actin more mature then he is right now....so I tried and tried and its up to him to make the next move bcuz i didnt do anythin wrong and all i did was care when everyone else told me not to.....
P.S: if he cared he would of tried to explain himself right?
klinus1997
May 22, 2007, 07:52 PM
I think you should get that book 'Hes just not into you'... Guys make up lame excuses thinking if they tell the truth they will hurt your feelings when - like you said - it makes you feel worse.
Think of it this way... Visualize sitting in a boat with 15 different fishing poles. You reeled in this fish. Kept it for an hour - now throw it back and real in another one.
Too young to waste your time. Move on - find a new one.
Paola_17
May 22, 2007, 08:24 PM
thanks i'll try
Paola_17
May 23, 2007, 06:15 PM
anymore advice...i really need it right now...i dont even know wat WE are anymore
bushg
May 23, 2007, 06:47 PM
Oh, sweeetie my heart goes out to you , he is to old for you and seems to be playing games with you... move on quickly. Some nice boy will come along that will feel the same way you do. A relationship just starting should not be filled with so many problems and he did lie to you. Good luck
Paola_17
May 23, 2007, 07:06 PM
thanks =[
Paola_17
Nov 16, 2008, 02:45 AM
ohhh mannnn... bad times lol =)...
Thanks to everyone who gave me advice
humbleman
Mar 11, 2009, 06:10 PM
I agree with talaniman.