You would think after 8 months I would be OK... but my emotions are still all over the place. I wake up all happy because I have plans all weekend and I won't be at home in my head thinking. Then I get to work and an hour later I'm thinking of her and missing her so damn bad that I get that deep pain in my chest.

Sometimes I wish she had cheated on me, treated me bad, kicked my dog or something like that. But she was a good person... always honest and truthful. She always tried to help me be a better person. She put up with my inexperience in relationships and countless times I stumbled and hurt her. I always tried hard to grow and learn. To be the best person I could... not just for me but for us. She always said that I tried harder than any one she knows. I always told her she was worth it... and she is.

We are working on taking it slow right now. Trying to build a great friendship. Giving each other space to grow. As individuals we are not whole. Its hard day in and day out to work on me as she is always there in the back of my head smiling that pretty smile and her beautiful hair falling down her shoulders. Her perfume on my pillow puts me to sleep at night with dreams of her. If you guys couldn't tell... I am in love with this woman completely. 7 years living together.

I have to be strong... for us but more importantly for me.

I think you need to not see her for a while. My ex is driving past my house more often an dshe even has the nerve to wave to me. But that's how she has control of me. She knows when she drives buy I will keep thinking of her. And I do. So I suggest you stay away from her for a while and get healty. Buy you seeing and talking to her your not moving forward. And one day she will be with someone else and that may hurt a lot. 8 months is a awlful long time to still be hurting. I hope when I reach my 8 month mark I'm dating someone else.

Sab... I hear what you are saying. We do have distance in the relationship as she lives 500 miles up north from me. But we do still want to work this out with each other. We both want to get back together but need to rebuild ourselves. But you are right. It is much harder to work on me with her in my everyday life. I will have that opportunity to work on me soon as I'm going on a business trip to Japan for 3 months or so.

I just need to man up and stop worrying and focus on me. The good news is that it is easier lately. I have made plans for this Friday through Sunday and hanging with my friends helps a lot.

Next week though on Thursday I am flying up to see her for 6 days. I know this may not seem like a good idea but with all the trips I go up... I keep it light and fun. Nothing serious or stressful. We always have a good time. We spend the time working on our friendship and laughing. It shows her that I am making progress and reminds her of the love she has for me. Every time I leave she holds me tight, kisses me, and tells me that she loves me very much. Then she tells me to be patient... work on yourself. Its hard but It gives me the strength I need to endure the distance and reminds me of what I'm fighting for.

I appreciate everyone listening to me. I thought it would be better to post here than to let it set in my head... or worse talk to her.

What went wrong during the relationship?

What went wrong during the relationship?

Here is the thread to my post. It's a long one but explains it.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/she-wants-space-but-tells-me-not-give-up-her-93599.html

Of course your emotions are all over the place. You're still seeing her... I made the mistake of visiting my ex after it was over, but if your ex was nice to you and didn't treat you like crap then it would be nice to be friends but try to move on. Give every girl a chance. If she let you go, then she may come back if you move on. If she hasn't come back yet, then don't fool yourself. Please move on.

Of course your emotions are all over the place. You're still seeing her...I made the mistake of visiting my ex after it was over, but if your ex was nice to u and didnt treat you like crap then it would be nice to be friends but try to move on. Give every girl a chance. If she let you go, then she may come back if you move on. If she hasn't come back yet, then don't fool urself. Please move on.

I understand what you are saying...

I think my emotions are all over the place because I loose sight of what I should be doing. I should be working on me and not let my emotions rule me.

EMO she isn't giving up on us and she hasn't moved on. So why should I? Yes it is hard and it sucks but what in life worthwhile is easy?

We both have hope and love. If there is a way... we will find it.

I totally agree with you... I understand there is hope so do pursue it. As of now it sounds good. You are taking it slow and it seems all good. I'm just afraid that she may move on before you do and then you will be crushed. I'm just concerned. This can bring really bad feelings later on. I'm just saying that if you meet a nice girl, just be friends with her. This way in case your ex never returns, you will have your friend to go to. Never let your ex know about the girl, it's not like you are cheating anyway. But if you end up loving a new girl who gives you sex all the time, strips for you, makes you happy and wants you all the time, then go for her... Then you will move on without knowing. I say go get some friends that are girls. They are smart and will help you make the right choice. Just don't let your ex know. I'm sure she has guy friends too.

Remember, you are single right now... You can do what you want. I know you want her, but you must prepare for the worst. And that means acting like you are single most of the time, because you really are. Good Luck!

she hasn't moved on. So why should I?


One day she may move on and you will be left behind crying she did. You could be healing yourself NOW, because if she moves on without you it will take you that much longer to get over her. I would move on and IF?? She wants you back you will be healthy as a person and if she doesn't want you back well, you will be healthy to move on.

I see where both of you are coming from and I agree to some degree.

Emo... I see what you are saying but right now I don't need a girl for those things. I am happy just being me for now and enjoying the company of my good friends. But if I did decide to be with another girl I would not hide it from her. She is my friend and I will always be honest with her no matter how much it hurts.

SAB... yes of course... one day she could decide to call it quits for good. I have to consider that. Yes I said that I haven't moved on... which means yes I still have hope for her and for us. But I am not making this the focus of my life. Right now I am going to make me the focus of my life and be that healthy person. Maybe not moving on is not the healthiest choice to get to my goals quickly but right now her and I have a common goal... be happy just being yourself... without depending on anyone for your happiness.

I don't mean to fight you guys on this. I do appreciate all the advice. I will consider it all. Keep it coming.

Then you have the answer... lol... what are you doing here? Go live your life! Congrats!

Then you have the answer...lol...what are you doing here? Go live your life! Congrats!


Well... I guess everyone has doubts sometimes. We all like to talk about our problems too. So I guess I needed to vent my little issues. Maybe I needed the validation to assure me that I wasn't crazy. Only time will tell.

I'm sure everything will be okay no matter what happens. You seem strong. I'd say just don't push too hard but you're doing good as far as everything else... You know like in movies people have those moments where there realize they should be with a person... Well tomorrow may be her day, just let it be. Be cool, be strong, be bold, be YOU!

Good sound advice.