View Full Version : Why I can't have an orgasm
Sweetpoetic28
May 15, 2007, 09:01 PM
Hello, I am a 32-year-old woman and every time my husband and I have sex, I can never have an orgasm. This really bothers me. I can have an orgasm through stimulation, but not during the actual sex, therefore, I have a very low sex drive. I can go weeks without sex because I know that I am not going to have any pleasure anyway. What can I do to make me have a better sex drive, as well as an orgasm?
yathink103
May 15, 2007, 09:23 PM
Don't try to have an orgasm, just relax and go with the flow. Another why is have your husband stimulate you to orgasm before hand.
xglamorousx
May 15, 2007, 09:32 PM
From experience, I never had an orgasm through sex until I met the right person with the right tool and knows how to use it. Every person is different. Try different positions and here are somet tips to help you achieve what your going after..
1. clear your head of everything your thinking about..
2. when you are going to have sex, have your partner stimulate you as yathink103 said, and right before you climax start penetration
3. go into sex thinking your going to have one.. go in with a good attitude
4. enjoy the feeling and concentrate on what your partner is doing
5. try getting on top so that you position yourself to hit your clitoris
6. don't let yourself feel like you can't orgasm, you will.. I have and it is way worth it.
p.s. doggy style hits your g-spot, it may feel like you have to pee but don't hold back, and if your really worried about it, go to the bathroom before hand so you know its not urine.
And also if he thrusts in and pulls up, its very enjoyable for both your clitoris and your g-spot..
Hope it helped, private message me for more, believe me, I've been there!
whiteladybug2002
May 15, 2007, 09:39 PM
A lot of women, including myself, can't orgasm without clitoris stimulation. I have tried it all, including what is listed above, it doesn't work for me! I have read all the books, took college sex classes, and talked to several people about how to help me with this and so far I have not found a solution! I have came close, but I still require direct clitoris stimulation. Also, my sex drive is low and I hate it! So does my husband! But I keep looking for a solution. If I find one, I'll let you know.
Good Luck and God Loves You!
1badchoice
May 15, 2007, 09:51 PM
I think the key is not what your thinking about but in how your doing it... A vast majority of women require stimulation of the clitoris for orgasm. Nothing wrong with that. You might try stimulating the clitoris manually/orally during foreplay to get you going and continued stimulation during intercourse to take you over the edge. It may require some creative thinking for positions or just more hands, etc. Nothing wrong with you stimulating your own clitoris while being penetrated from various positions. This could keep you interested in sex with your partner while allowing you to explore ways to stimulate that sensitive part of yourself. There are tons of toys, a variety of positions, etc that can help. Keep very open in your communicating what does/doesn't do it for you. Your partner cannot know this without you telling him. Remember some positions leave his hands free to manually stimulate you... You may not orgasm with him inside of you but it could get you more interested in sex as well as teach you both more about your own bodies/likes/dislikes. If all else fails... remember that very few couples climax together and often end up in a situation where sex takes the form of one being pleasured after the other. Keep trying... and have fun! Cathy
Xrayman
May 15, 2007, 09:52 PM
My wife has never had an orgasm just with sex (penile penetration) only. (according to masters and johnson-long time ago granted)
Only about 30% of women do anyway-don't be worried.
Keep up the "personal stimulation" while he's inside and "train" yourself until you can do it with just him.
I hope this helps you.
There is also a testosterone gel (could be similar to that used to bring on labour?) that may also help-Oprah discussed this gel a few years ago MANY women thought it was the next big thing-they loved it! This may help the low sex drive.
Found the information..
If you are a woman who has even one of the following symptoms, ask your doctor to test you for lack of male hormones: depression, lack of motivation, loss of energy, lack of interest in making love, lack of joy in making love, muscle weakness, osteoporosis or weak bones, or vaginal pain during intercourse. Ask your doctor to draw blood tests for testosterone, the male hormone produced by the ovaries, and DHEAS, the male hormone produced by the adrenal glands. Even if your blood levels of the male hormones are normal, you could still try the testosterone cream, Androgel. Too much of the cream can cause masculinizing symptoms, but as long as you do not exceed 2.5 grams of Androgel each week, you are at low risk for growing hair on your face and body.
Possible solution:
Masturbate by yourself, just to the brink, then get him to masturbate you to the brink, then keep going with just penile penetration-it may finally put you over the edge hope this helps you.
Cheers