My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something I am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?

I would say that this pretty normal. It can be painful the first couple of times.
If you are at a point that you want to do this - try lots of foreplay. Also, invest in a good lubricant.

Please also don't forget to use protection unless of course you are ready for parenthood.

Yeah, we used protection.

But remember- you both have to be relaxed. If she's nervous or self-conscious, or anything like that, it's just going to be more painful.

Question: Does she use pads or tampons? Because if she uses pads, then she probably has never had her hymen stretched, which is why she is experiencing the pain.

Also: Keep in mind that there may be some light spotting when and if you succeed.

Good luck:D

Lubrication. Lubrication. Lubrication. Either (recommended) Natural or artificial and take it s.l.o.w.l.y-enter only when she is ready-asking you to do so.

These are all good recommendations. Just remember that sometimes it takes several times of trying to succeed. This is normal. It's a big step. I commend you for stopping when things got uncomfortable for her. As long as you take it slow, be sure she is lubricated, and stop if necessary things will work themselves out. Of course protection is always a must as well. Good luck. Enjoy each other. Cathy

My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something i am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?

Practise makes perfect, however you are both beginners so give yourself credit.
The pain should go for your girlfriend. The first time is always painful for the ladies.

Please also make sure that your girlfriend is taking the pill or use condoms, always safe guard yourselves :)

Yep practice, I remember my first time, it was awkward and not fun but after a few times we were like bunnies! :) Lube + foreplay helps

I have a friend who spent 4 years trying but never succeeded. The girl always said it hurt too much.

Then after they broke up she went on to hook up with another guy and suddenly it didn't hurt all that much.

And the guy never had any problems with other girls either.

:confused:

That's not meant to discourage you though. Id stick with the previous advices - lube lube lube foreplay foreplay foreplay (not necessarily in this order)

My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something i am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?
Trust me you aren't doing anything wrong. It's perfectly normal. Sex is going to hurt for the first time. Just take it slow with her.

My boyfrend an I tried for months until we got frustrated an decided to stop but we were going about it wrong.. we were planning too much... one night we had a fight then he was trying to apologize an then BAM! We just did it... it was kind of painful but she has to try not to focus on it!!

After these last two replies, I'm at a loss as to what else could possibly be said! Hey, who needs Dr. Ruth when we've got answers like these.
So Cinnamon... oh never mind, I get it.

Since someone with a lot of common sense has pulled the absurd reply by Cinnamon, my response doesn't mean as much - please disregard it.
Thanks,
WTFO (just up the dial from WKRP)

First time sex for virgins. Hmmmmmmmm that's a toughy. It's a lot of nervousness and anxiety. It'll hurt more if the girl tenses up since she's not used to anything like that. It does you credit to care this much about her feelings and well being. All I can say is take you time and patience does help. I'm not sure how uncomfortable it is for the guy but for the girl it can be painful. Cuddling forplay and lubricant along with protection go a long way. As well as time. You have forever to make love.

I wasn't impressed with "protection."

Condoms obviously provided "desensitization," regardless of what the marketing-hype on the packaging said. And I didn't want my wife (who was my girlfriend at the time) taking "The Pill" because playing with one's hormones can have side effects -- short term and long term.

So I went to my neighborhood urologist and got my vas deferens (tubes) cut. I did it without my sweety's permission, but it was my body and she was only my girlfriend... Also, her kids were 18 and 20 at the time, and I determined she needed a baby like she needed a whole in the head.

The local anesthetic was less painful than the shots at the dentist. Then I drove myself home (sometimes a stick-shift is only a stick-shift), and walked slowly for a couple of days. The doc gave me Tylenol with codeine, but I think I only used one or two.

Best choice I ever made for my sex life. It's been naturally uncomplicated for the last 14 years. Of course, other aspects of marriage are more complicated, like tolerating her totally irrational quirks just because I love her, but that’s going off on a tangent.

Occasionally, she reminds me that if anything ever happens to her, I can get the "operation" reversed. :heart: That would probably be a general anesthetic and a bigger deal, but personally, I don't think I'll be interested.

Hey, I know how yous kids' minds work, so let me say this: Just a quick in-and-out to see how it feels without a condom is enough to cause pregnancy. Unless you do it my way (he said smugly).

Take it slow. Do what feels good for both of you. Regardless of whether you do it my way, it will be better for your long-term sex life if you assure that your sweety associates sex with pleasantness, comfort, relaxation, fun, etc...

-Neil, I mean Roger-

According the Internet, which is never wrong:


A vasectomy reversal operation rejoins each of the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles to the penis, which were cut during a vasectomy. However, this doesn't guarantee that your fertility will be restored.

A vasectomy can be reversed, but that doesn't mean it will allow for you to have children. Most of the time, it will not restore fertility, so I would not advise anyone to go out there and get a vasectory- it sounds like th person who asked for help is rather young, so a vasectomy is probably not the best.
ALSO: A vasectomy won't make having intercourse any easier. The original question says:


urgh160

First timer woes
My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something I am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?

A vasectomy (or a condom, for that matter), will not help with the pain.

My girlfriend and I are having the same problem but the thing is she's no virgin,she's had plenty of sex then went though a dry spell of 6-7 months and then she met me and all of a sudden she's tight and it hurts her a lot too,so sex for me last about 8min before she's gets too hurt and we stop.wish I knew how to help her though.

I wasn't impressed with "protection."

Condoms obviously provided "desensitization," regardless of what the marketing-hype on the packaging said. And I didn't want my wife (who was my girlfriend at the time) taking "The Pill" because playing with one's hormones can have side effects -- short term and long term.

So I went to my neighborhood urologist and got my vas deferens (tubes) cut. I did it without my sweety's permission, but it was my body and she was only my girlfriend... Also, her kids were 18 and 20 at the time, and I determined she needed a baby like she needed a whole in the head.

The local anesthetic was less painful than the shots at the dentist. Then I drove myself home (sometimes a stick-shift is only a stick-shift), and walked slowly for a couple of days. The doc gave me Tylenol with codeine, but I think I only used one or two.

Best choice I ever made for my sex life. It's been naturally uncomplicated for the last 14 years. Of course, other aspects of marriage are more complicated, like tolerating her totally irrational quirks just because I love her, but that's going off on a tangent.

Occasionally, she reminds me that if anything ever happens to her, I can get the "operation" reversed. :heart: That would probably be a general anesthetic and a bigger deal, but personally, I don't think I'll be interested.

Hey, I know how yous kids' minds work, so let me say this: Just a quick in-and-out to see how it feels without a condom is enough to cause pregnancy. Unless you do it my way (he said smugly).

Take it slow. Do what feels good for both of you. Regardless of whether you do it my way, it will be better for your long-term sex life if you assure that your sweety associates sex with pleasantness, comfort, relaxation, fun, etc...

-Neil, I mean Roger-


I am glad this worked for you, but
This has little to do with the original question and just because you can't get someone pregnant does NOT mean you can't spread STD's.

Not enjoying her first penetrative experience does not necessarily mean she will not enjoy the next, including first sexual intercourse when she is ready. With time, practice, and increased familiarity with your partner, and her increased knowledge of you, you'll both learn when her body is fully aroused and ready for penetration and pleasure

Burst it open and It will be fine aftewared just kidding lubrication and going slow coupled with not going too deep will help you guys build up until she can accommodate you fully. Although protection is highly recommended that could also be a culprit try thin or extra sensitive condoms.

Protection won't make intercourse painful unless NO lube is used. Just lube up and keep trying.

Of course it's going to hurt when a hymen breaks for the first time, if it breaks correctly.
Your first time is not meant to be all about rainbows and lollipops.

I suggest foreplay and to go slow. It gets better after the next time around.
Some girls can be very sore afterwards, bleed and sometimes even have pain when walking for the next few days.
I had a horror story that I won't talk about but I suffered phsyically for 8 weeks, worst time of my life.

The original question was not even condom related.
I'm pretty sure if the original poster was going to have sex, and especially when their both virgins, they would use a condom.


Roger Grimsby- I definitely agree with you on this..

Condoms obviously provided "desensitization," regardless of what the marketing-hype on the packaging said. And I didn't want my wife (who was my girlfriend at the time) taking "The Pill" because playing with one's hormones can have side effects -- short term and long term.


And I commend you for respecting her and taking her health into consideration.

My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something i am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?
Wow, I am in my mid-30s and still a Virgin. I unfortunately can't tell you what your first timer woes would be like but I hope the woman I meet in the future can be understanding and give me an inch of slack for my lack of experience.

My girlfriend and I tried to have sex recently, we are both virgins, but she said that it was too painful and we stopped. Is there something i am doing wrong? Or is that just part of how it is going to be?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this?
You need slowly made her get real wet then have a sex that way won't hurt have fun

Well the first time sometimes is a little painful but hang in there you need to be at the right frame of mind and at the right place at the right time for it to be special