My nephew is getting married and he has never called, visited written or made an attempt to know me. I am concerned because his wedding and my son's High School graduation will overlap and people will not be around for my son's party. I say that it is proper when choosing a date to consult with family to avoid the hard feelings that this has already caused and to make sure that both events are accommodated. It is unfair and inconsiderate to me to treat one person as unimportant. I have no desire to attend the wedding and feel that under the circumstances that it would be best if I don't go to avoid my bad feelings from making the situation worse. My sister says that the wedding is all about the bride and groom and I am out of line. No wedding is ever just about the bride and groom in my experience any and I have seen long lasting feuds because of things like this. If I don't go my family will not speak to me again. Because of this wedding there will only be me and my son at his graduation, his older brother having died in an accident. My sister has put me and my family in the position that one of them is important and it is not my son. By the way, I live 4 miles out of the way and it is a local call to get in touch with me.:(

By the sound of it you don't know this nephew so wel... and the other way around.
So why would he have consulted you before setting his wedding date?

Having said that: I can understand your concerns.
However, we live in a free country and I am sure that your nephew did not do this on purpose...

Enjoy your son's graduation.
You are not planning on going to the wedding.

Your sister is right... this is about the bride and the groom.
Your son's graduation is an important event for him and for you as a family.
However, don't let this ruin the fun.

Things like this happen in life.
Don't turn it into drama.

I agree with gypsy456. But I would like to add that If I was in that situation I would arrange for my son's graduation party to take place a few days after graduation. That way you can still extent invites and hopefully everyone will turn up.

And I would attend the wedding. It's not about how well you know your nephew it's (I take it) your sister's son. These things can always be worked around.

And I can't help feeling that if you fail to 'fix' this, your son may wonder why he has so few people attending his wedding when the time comes.

Heal family stuff as soon as you can - someone else always pays for our mistakes.

I agree with gypsy456. But I would like to add that If I was in that situation I would arrange for my son's graduation party to take place a few day after graduation. That way you can still extent invites and hopefully everyone will turn up.

And I would attend the wedding. It's not about how well you know your nephew it's (I take it) your sister's son. These things can always be worked around.

And I can’t help feeling that if you fail to ‘fix’ this, your son may wonder why he has so few people attending his wedding when the time comes.

Heal family stuff as soon as you can - someone else always pays for our mistakes.


I could not agree more and excellent suggestions.
Well done, Bluerose :)