talaniman
May 11, 2007, 04:21 AM
STRANGERS
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the
stranger
turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go
quicker if
you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly
and
said to
the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But ;let me
ask
you
a
question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same
stuff. Yet a
deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,
and
a horse
produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to
discuss
nuclear power when you don't know shyt?
Changing a Light Bulb
Q. How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just sit there in the dark and complain.
[/URL]
Organized Crime
No matter how much the government fights it, organized crime just seems to get more organized every day. The police pulled in a Mob kingpin recently and reminded him he had the right to make a phone call.
"Just fax the arrest report to my lawyer," the mobster said calmly.
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/)
What Sound
A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo'."
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow'."
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa'."
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"
Jennifer paused, and said, "Uhh... it goes... 'click'!"
[URL="https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/"]
For The Kids...
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!
What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A fish tank!
What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
Tsardines!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the
stranger
turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go
quicker if
you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly
and
said to
the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But ;let me
ask
you
a
question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same
stuff. Yet a
deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,
and
a horse
produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to
discuss
nuclear power when you don't know shyt?
Changing a Light Bulb
Q. How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just sit there in the dark and complain.
[/URL]
Organized Crime
No matter how much the government fights it, organized crime just seems to get more organized every day. The police pulled in a Mob kingpin recently and reminded him he had the right to make a phone call.
"Just fax the arrest report to my lawyer," the mobster said calmly.
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/)
What Sound
A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"
Davey replied, "It goes 'moo'."
"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"
Alice said, "It goes 'meow'."
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"
Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa'."
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"
Jennifer paused, and said, "Uhh... it goes... 'click'!"
[URL="https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/"]
For The Kids...
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
Monkfish!
What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
A fish tank!
What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
Tsardines!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!