Hi I want to be closer to my brother and I don't think that he claims me as his sister because he lives about 40 minutes away but doesn't call me or come and see me or my mom. My brother is 28 and I am 22... I hope that you can follow my story because I appreciate any advice and everything is totally truthful! Me and my brother have the same mom and different fathers. My brother has a rich father and a good relationship with him. I don't even know my father. Growing up my mom had full custody of my brother until a year before I was born and then she had custody only every other weekend.

My brother then went to live with his dad until he was grown. My mom and my brother's dad got divorced because of my moms mental status I believe and my mom did not get any money from the divorce. I believe that she got some furniture and she never really picked up the furniture afterwards. My mom got on disability afterwards and moved into a really small apartment. I would love to see my brother when he would come every other weekend and consider us close.


I never really undertood why I couldn't see my brother more often and I always wondered if I had a dad because I never heard anything of him and didn't understand a lot. As I got older and my brother turned about 18 yrs old I never really saw much of him and he would not call me or my mom and would not come and see us. I would wonder why my brother does not care about me, etc. I figured that my brother thought he was too good for us because now he is 28 and has a nice house, car and works for his dad, etc and we don't have as much. My brother is living a real rich life now and doesn't help out my mother or anything. My mother loves him a lot and misses him also and can't understand anything. He came to visit us a while back with his new girl girlfriend because she wanted to meet us probably. My mom calls him every 3 months about.. and asks why he doesn't come see us and he sais that he is too busy working.


I think about him everyday and don't understand why he doesn't call or come see us. I just found out that my brother has a myspace account and when I was searching across schools my brother's profile came up. I viewed his profile and he put that he has 1 sister and 1 brother and a step mom that he considers his mom and his dad who he worships and has a partnership in the family businiess. My brother has a sister from his dad also and a step brother and I know in my heart that he was talking about them and this hurt me so much that I started crying because my brother left me out and lied about me. I don't know how he forgot about me and would even consider Tina is stepmom because growing up my mom provided very well for us. My mom sacrificed a lot so that we would have nice things and now he doesn't claim us.


My brother would come over every other weekend when he was little and he would bring a few hundred dollars with him that his dad gave him and that was more money than our mom even had and my mom provided everything for us. He never gave our mom anything at all. Can you imagine a little boy having hundreds of dollars, more than there own mother who was broke. Weird, huh?


I think that my brother wants to forget about us because he is embarressed because my moms mental instability and because she doesn't have money to offer him like his dad does. I can't undestand how he can claim his stepbrother and not me. I have been told by family that my brother wanted to live with my mom when he was given the majority custody to his dad and he cried for a long long time before he got over it. I think that changed him because if my mom would have had custody all of this time my brother would love us.


I feel like I have lost my only brother because he does not claim me.. I wish that I had more money and I wish a lot that I had his dad so that I could see him more and he would love me. I don't know why ho does not claim me though.. Maybe it is because he spent so much time growing up with his dad and stepmom and his other half sister that he doesn't want to claim us. I think it is honestly because we don't have the money that he does it hurts so bad. Should I tell my brother how bad I am hurting and that I saw what he had on my space.

Since I saw this on my brother's my space profile I contacted him in an email.. but I did not mention anything about what I saw on there about him having 1 sister and 1 brother, etc but I just sais hi and I told him that I am glad that I saw him on my space. After this my brother erased what he had wrote on his profile and when he emailed me he said that he loved me and missed me. What am I suppose to think when my brother tells me that he loves me but also denies me. He doesn't call, send mothers day cards to mom or christmas, etc.


I love my brother so so much and miss him a lot, I want to see him now that we are older nothing is stopping us. He sounds like he misses me and loves me a lot but why would he write about his family and not include me? I cried about this hard for days because I felt like my heart was ripped out..

brandy681,

Hi! I hope you feel a little better for getting all that down on paper so to speak. It is a rather sad situation but families don't always stick together. Your brother is almost 30 years old, a grown man running part of a business. He has a life too.

I understand how you feel about not seeing him but you can't make him come to see you. The next best thing would be for you to live your own life and try to keep in touch with your brother in a friendly way through a weekly or monthly email, try to keep it upbeat and friendly, no accusation or blame. This may be the way to build a relationship with him. Otherwise you might lose the little contact you have.

The My Space thing was unfortunate but it might have just been a little thoughtlessness on his part. don't hold it against him. He sounds like a nice guy, a hard working guy. Take care of yourself, work at filling your life with worthwhile things and be happy with any kind of contact, at least for a while.

I didn't ask my brother about that myspace thing and would probably be embarresed to mention it. I am shy so I have never contacted him about anything but to be nice to him, etc. I have written a few emails to him and he has responded back. My brother is a very hard worker, he loves partying hard though on the weekends and acts a little immature like a 21 yr old but other than that he is a work a holic and takes the business very serious.. He is looking for someone as a partner with the same goals in mind as far as a business etc.. He has been single and can't find a girlfriend that is the right one to marry and I guess I still think of him as a kid or young adult. He had a girlfriend that he dated for 2 yrs and broke up with and I liked her because she was nice and my brother would visit us more for some reason when they were dating... She was a rn and was gorgeous, my bro is very nice looking as well but very picky when it comes to girls I guess. I think it has something to do with his dad and our mom because he knows what pain it can bring from divorce. I think that my brother should make more effort to visit with us instead of once every 2-4 years though.. He has money and does nothing for my mom.. Not that she expects him too and I know she would not take a dime from him but he don't offer anything. We don't argue with him or bug him for anything so I don't understand why he doesn't visit more. I mean I am young, I am 22 and felt this way since I was 12 and my brother was 18. A 12 year old who misses and doesn't understand why there brother doesn't visit is confusing.. especially when we were so CLOSE. I lost a lot of years seeing him because I only saw him about 4 times in 10 years.

Sounds to me like your mum and your brother have issues. If so they are the only people who can sort them out. I can't help feeling that you are taking on too much trying to get your brother to visit more for your mum's sake.

I still think you should spend some time concentrating on yourself for a while. Do you have a boyfriend. If not just try to get out more.

Sometimes, if we really love someone, we just need to let them get on with their own life.

Yes, it sounds like your brother may have been hurt by your mom giving up custody of him before you were born. If this is the root of his tendency to keep his distance, you should try not to take it personally because his issue is really with your mom, not you. Still, you get caught in the undertow, so to speak, and have to cope. Rose is right. Just keep up friendly communication with him and don't accuse or blame him for anything. In time, you may grow closer again. Remember that he has his own scars and hang-ups from his childhood, and try to be understanding as he grows up and works through them. The next three or four years should be a time of testing and growth for him, turning 30 and all.

I have a boyfriend and my own life and I do things all of the time, I stay buy and usually only think about this when I am alone but this did not bother me NEAR as much until I read that on my space and so I think about it a lot more than before because I just read it, I will get over it and heal but it will take a little more time, probably a few more days and I will feel better but now that I know something else is going on this keeps me wondering. I do think there is issues with my mom that I don't know about or something but I don't feel comfortable talking to my mom about it and plus she probably won't say anything..

I mean stay busy not stay buy, LOL..

To blue rose...

I can't help but think that may be the problem that I concentrate too much on myself and in my own life and that is why my brother is the way he is because he thinks I don't care. Sort of like if you don't call me I want call you. I never really called my brother and did much to show I care and that is maybe why he is rejecting me now. I was waiting for him to call me. I thought everything was perfectly fine between us even though we don't communicate much until I saw the blog about his family, I still think everything is fine because he wrote me a caring email but am confused about not including me in the blog and not mentioning the fact that he has 2 sisters, I know that it is dumb but I feel that it is wrong. I kind of feel like he is consumed with his dads side of the family and not moms and maybe he has issues that I don't know about with her.

Lol! No problem. Shame you can't talk to your mum about what happened in the past, it might be all you need in order to be able to put everything into perspective. I'm glad you believe that you will get passed it and feel better soon. I still think you should try talking to your mum. Avoid just blurting out questions, she may find that a little intimidating if not overwhelming. Simply ask her if you could both sit down and have a quiet chat sometime soon when she is feeling stronger. That will give her time to get used to the idea and also time to organise her thoughts. Then gently bring it up again from time to time until she agrees.

Looks like we posted at the same time.

I understand what you are saying. You were younger then and may not have realised the importance of keeping in touch. But you do now and I really believe all you have to do id work on it a little bit at a time without being pushy.