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imtheoneuwontlove
May 4, 2007, 07:20 PM
My friend is going through a battle with her step mom and her step mom does a lot of things that are not right and she is constantly trying to rule her life and her dad is no help. Her step mom just recently took her stuff and went searching for a lot of it and threw it away and told her that her room must get cleaned before she can get it back but she didn't do anything for her to take it. She threw away her work papers and her purses and some of her clothing and the dad won't do anything to help. Can she really go through her room and take her stuff??

saraispiel19
May 4, 2007, 07:22 PM
You should chαnge your font color first


-- but no she cαn't do thαt, no pαrent cαn.. Thαt is not α very good wαy of telling someone to cleαn their room. If her dαd won't do αnything she should try tαlking to her step-mom one on one αnd hαve α (civil) conversαtion with her αnd try to reαson things out. αdults don't just throw fits like thαt (unless they αren't mαture), but there most be some other reαson why she did it.. previous αrguements?. if the one on one conversαtion doesn't work out invite the dαd to be in the conversαtion

Fr_Chuck
May 4, 2007, 08:01 PM
Yes, since you are living in the home of your father and your step mother, you are under THEIR rules, not just your dad rules, and as such she can tell you what to do and has full authority to make her cleam her room.

It sounds like a very disrespectful girl who ignored what her step mom told her to do,a and the step mom had to clean up the girls room ( in her house).

And best thing to do is to learn to keep your room clean and this won't have happened in the first place. But of course you have to listen to a step parent and also in HER home, she has full authority also,

As for the real mom she has no business getting involved in what happens in your dads home. And I would assume dad and step mom would tell her so.

AKaeTrue
May 4, 2007, 08:12 PM
Under certain circumstances, I feel a parent can do that.

I don't agree with searching through the room and throwing away a child's stuff if there is no good reason.
But, if the consequence of not having a clean room was for some of her things to be taken away until the room was clean, then I agree.

Example: If I tell my daughter that her room must be cleaned up or she will be grounded from, lets say "a personal possession",
If she fails to clean her room, I will search the messy room until I find what it is that she's grounded from (usually it's hidden) and tell her she can't have it back until her room is clean.

Another example: If my daughter leaves her stuff laying around and I've asked her repeatedly to pick it up, it's very likely it will go in the trash if she doesn't pick it up.

What is the whole story behind your friends situation?
If the father isn't stepping in, then he must feel that there is a ligament reason...

That's not always the case... and she may just have an irrational stepmother...
But when these occurrences happen between my daughter and I,
Even though she was given fair warning of the consequences to not cleaning up or picking up,
She ALWAYS feels she didn't do anything to deserve her things being taken away or thrown out...

imtheoneuwontlove
May 5, 2007, 09:44 PM
Here's the thing the step mom threatens the dad to take their son from him and that's his only son
Her room is always spotless
The mom is wacked in the head and swear everyone is out to get her
She's called the cops on me saying I harassed her she's not all there
The father never sticks up for his girls that aren't hers b.c he doesn't want to lose his son
She does this to all the girls

Bluerose
May 5, 2007, 10:23 PM
If her room is clean, I don't see the justification in trashing her stuff. Maybe the step-mum is ill. My dad suffered from a personality disorder and his behaviour was way out there. I remember rushing home from school on many an occasion to make sure some treasured possession which he had threatened to throw out was still there. My sister and I took turns in doing the washing up. One night we argued about who's turn it was. He walked over, opened the kitchen window and threw all the dishes out of the window!

Is step-mum on any medication?