I was with a girl for 6 years and now she turned 21. We had a big argument because she went out till 2:45am and now she is living with her mom. She said that I have to change some things about myself. She said she is not looking for anyone and her mom absolutely adores me and wants us to be together. She said she needs some time. I have talked to her just twice in the week that we have been apart. She says she loves me but doesn't want to get hurt by moving back in and me going back to my same self. I'm miserable without her and to make matters worse she is a bartender and she is out till 2-3 in the morning. We have a 4 yr old son and I just want her back so I can prove to her that I can be the ONE. Please help. My son and I need her back. (I have custody)

Why exactly did you have the argument? Just because she was out late? Did you know ahead of time she was going to be out late? Was it for work reasons?

Some more information might help people give you some better advise...

How exactly did you get custody of your child?

How old are you?

All I can tell you is that if she's bartending she's going to be out until 3 am because that's not only the hours they work but it's the scene you in as well. When I bartended I had friends that worked at other bars and I would visit them on my nights off, just like visited my place on my work nights. That's part of the whole deal.

That being said, I think the one changing is her because she's now exposed to a new scene and is truly an adult. Things change at 21 and she's becoming a different person. But depending exactly on what it is she wants you to change, you can't start changing for her because she demands it. What exactly does she want you to change?

Think of your son since you have custody, and if she isn't being a mother to him, why would you want her back? Leave her alone to grow up, and find out for herself what's important in life.

Let her have some space for a while still allowing the kid to see his mother girls have their times when they just need time alone so give her some time and eventually u will be back as a happy family

let her have some space for a while still allowing the kid to see his mother girls have their times when they just need time alone so give her some time and eventually you will be back as a happy family


don't do that to a kid don't let him have 4 years of knowing his mother and just like that take it all awat its not fair


Leave her alone to grow up, and find out for herself what's important in life.
How can you disagree when we say the say thing? I don't get it.