talaniman
May 3, 2007, 03:51 AM
Counting Sheep
Ferne Southern said she was staying with her 8-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, while her parents were out of town.
Brooke was delaying bedtime, as usual, so her grandmother told her about counting sheep to fall asleep.
The 8-year-old thought that was a good idea. Everything was quiet for a while. But just as grandmother was dozing off, a voice sounded:
"Nana?"
"Yes?"
"There are 38."
[/URL]Not Me Your Honor
A rabbi and his two friends, a priest and a minister, played poker for small stakes once a week. The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. The sheriff raided their game and took all three before the local judge.
After listening to the sheriff's story, the judge sternly inquired of the priest: "Were you gambling, Father?" The priest looked toward heaven, whispered, "Oh, Lord, forgive me!" and then said aloud: "No, your honor, I was not gambling."
"Were you gambling, Reverend?" the judge asked the minister. The minister repeated the priest's actions and said, "No, your honor, I was not."
Turning to the third clergyman, the judge asked: "Were you gambling, Rabbi?"
The rabbi eyed him coolly and replied "With whom?"
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/)Price of Oranges
Mrs. Golden was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?"
"Two for a quarter," answered the vendor.
"How much is just one?" she asked.
"Fifteen cents," answered the vendor.
"Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. Golden.
[URL="https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/"]For The Kids...
Why doesn't the sea spill over the earth?
Because it's tied!
Who was the Black Prince?
The son of Old King Cole!
Did you hear about the mad scientist who invented a gas that could burn through anything?
No, what about him?
Now he's trying to invent something to hold it in!
Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit?
So he could tell the time at night!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snowball!
Ferne Southern said she was staying with her 8-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, while her parents were out of town.
Brooke was delaying bedtime, as usual, so her grandmother told her about counting sheep to fall asleep.
The 8-year-old thought that was a good idea. Everything was quiet for a while. But just as grandmother was dozing off, a voice sounded:
"Nana?"
"Yes?"
"There are 38."
[/URL]Not Me Your Honor
A rabbi and his two friends, a priest and a minister, played poker for small stakes once a week. The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. The sheriff raided their game and took all three before the local judge.
After listening to the sheriff's story, the judge sternly inquired of the priest: "Were you gambling, Father?" The priest looked toward heaven, whispered, "Oh, Lord, forgive me!" and then said aloud: "No, your honor, I was not gambling."
"Were you gambling, Reverend?" the judge asked the minister. The minister repeated the priest's actions and said, "No, your honor, I was not."
Turning to the third clergyman, the judge asked: "Were you gambling, Rabbi?"
The rabbi eyed him coolly and replied "With whom?"
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/)Price of Oranges
Mrs. Golden was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?"
"Two for a quarter," answered the vendor.
"How much is just one?" she asked.
"Fifteen cents," answered the vendor.
"Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. Golden.
[URL="https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/"]For The Kids...
Why doesn't the sea spill over the earth?
Because it's tied!
Who was the Black Prince?
The son of Old King Cole!
Did you hear about the mad scientist who invented a gas that could burn through anything?
No, what about him?
Now he's trying to invent something to hold it in!
Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit?
So he could tell the time at night!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snowball!