Is it legal in some or most states to sue the person that the spouse is having an extra marital affair with providing you have proof? Has any one done this before? What do you think? What would be considered to grounds or basis on which one would pursue this matter?

I can't answer your question, but I have heard of your question matter taking place in some states. It has to do with causing alienation of affection from one's spouse by the 'other' woman or man. It might be a state by state law. I think you may have a better chance of getting an answer by posting your question in the Law/Family Law section of this forum. Click on "Ask a Question in Another Subject", look for Law, then click on Family Law. Good luck to you.

Thank you very much, delilah

is it legal in some or most states to sue the person that the spouse is having an extra marital affair with providing you have proof? has any one done this before? what do you think? What would be considered to grounds or basis on which one would pursue this matter?
I'm in the process of it, at the very beginnings really. Alienation of affection, adultery. I live in Maryland, so I can still use adultery. But all I've done so far is have my lawyer draw up a 'cease and desist' for my hubbies little bootie-call babe, with a warning that if she is found to have had any further contact with him that it will be considered 'malicious intent' and we will move forward.

My situation is a little different than most, however. I know the other woman and she knows me. She knows my husband has a family (3 kids) and she has one of her own. And the stupidity doesn't stop there! They email each other, make their travel plans via the internet, so it's easy to trace and get proof of everything they do.

And, it's funny, I told them both that if it was just about us -- my hubby, her and me -- I'd let him go do whatever he wants; hell, I'd have dropped his name and never looked back after finding the first email. But we have a family -- 2 teens and 1 tween -- all three planned (nobody was 'trapped' or surprised here) and I'll be damned if I'm going to let him walk away at this phase, when I need backup the most, just so he can go play 'Peter Pan and Wendy' while I fight to tread these teenage hormonal waters. No way in hell.