Hello again,
It's my second question here..
I've been concerned over a matter for the past few weeks..
Am I as a person,interesting enough to make someone want to have a real relationship with me?and if so why do I lose it every time sth new starts that seems to be more than just sth casual,every time a guy takes more interest in me.. I feel like I have commitment issues,and it's funny cause even tough I'm not really a relationship person(not one night stand girl,but sth in between where my partner can if he likes to see other girls and me other boys.. ) when I'm with a guy,just like the person I'm seeing now and th person I was seeing before,I sometimes feel like I'm yearning for sth more,and I know that I will be annoyed to see them with someone else.. The ironic is that every time ,the last year, I start sth with a guy I make it clear that I'm a very free person.. but then how come I get jealous(not with all guys.. )
For example:a guy I was dating recently,who was very deep into ''serious'' relationship scared me off really quickly.. it's like I couldn't stand the thought of I becoming --> WE..
I was very cold with him,from our first date he started calling me baby,sugar etc. and it's like every time he spoke or wrote on sms those words I would freak out..
But with the guy I'm seeing now ,we have a casual relationship ,3 weeks now, I love kissing him and I know I will be annoyed to see him flirting with another girl.. even though I did sth with another guy while we were dating.. by the way we call each other with our names,not with baby or other..
Am I crazy?why do I feel like I really need to keep next to me guys who don't seem to want with me sth more than casual and dread of guys want sth real with me?
And what if I'm not able to make a real honest relationship in my whole life?
It all comes down to this question,what if I'm not really interesting enough as a personality to keep a guy next to me ,for sth more than just having a good time.. how do you know you are a person of worth,how do you know you have an original personality?or are you just another not that interesting person.. just because you boyfriend or girlfriend says so?do you need to hear from them if you are special or not?
I don't know how al this come down to this questions


Thank you in advance,
I reallylook forward to hear your comments.. and if you have any additional questions please ask..

I know it's probably a boring question so thank you for your patience

It sounds like what you really have is fear. You fear a great relationship or should I say you fear finding a great person and then losing him so you immediately get rid of those quality guys and accept the losers in your life. If you get dumped by a guy that doesn't really care about you then it's no real big loss.

The only thing I can say is that getting dumped certainly does suck. But if you don't ever take the chance on a one of the good guys you'll never know if they could be for you. The reality is a relationship with a guy that likes you back may not work out either, but maybe the experience would be worth it in the sense that would learn that not all guys are pigs and some do actually care about women their with. Even if the relationship didn't work out it would give you experience with someone that can treat you right and maybe lead to another guy that can treat you right. In other words it might get you out of your pattern of being with guys that have no real concern for you.

It sounds like what you really have is fear. You fear a great relationship or should I say you fear finding a great person and then losing him so you immediately get rid of those quality guys and accept the losers in your life. If you get dumped by a guy that doesn't really care about you then it's no real big loss.

The only thing I can say is that getting dumped certainly does suck. But if you don't ever take the chance on a one of the good guys you'll never know if they could be for you. The reality is a relationship with a guy that likes you back may not work out either, but maybe the experience would be worth it in the sence that would learn that not all guys are pigs and some do actually care about women their with. Even if the relationship didn't work out it would give you experience with someone that can treat you right and maybe lead to another guy that can treat you right. In other words it might get you out of your pattern of being with guys that have no real concern for you.


Thank you chuff,you have a good point,the thing I think I'm most afraid is if I get involved in a ''great'' relationship I'll make a mess out of it.. due to the fact I will take the person's interest for granted or become more scared cause I won't know how to handle a guy that really wants to be with me,and only when he/or I end it,I would realize the difference between someone who really cares and someone who doesn't..
You've given me something to think about..
Thanks

Deep down I think you want loyalty, but you want the freedom to do what you want. I also think your afraid to be left alone or dumped, and I think you would cheat, or want to, if you were in a relationship. Sooner or later you will get it together, and want to work togther with some one and be loyal and expect the same from them. You just haven't found that person yet. How old are you anyway?

Deep down I think you want loyalty, but you want the freedom to do what you want. I also think your afraid to be left alone or dumped, and I think you would cheat, or want to, if you were in a relationship. Sooner or later you will get it together, and want to work togther with some one and be loyal and expect the same from them. You just haven't found that person yet. How old are you anyway??

I'm 20.. I know I'm too young but I just had this extreme concern the last weeks.. deep down I know that it's all about my own personal insecurities,and for me cheating is sth to fight this insecurities with(not nice.. ),not that it's a habit for me..
It's just seems so messed up, like I don't know what kind of person I am..
The worst of all is that regardless of whether I am deep or not into a guy,I feel I'm totally passive in any relationship I've had.waiting for guys to lead the way,I feel like I'm too scared to make an initiative.. in case the other person doesn't feel the same way,or is not in the same mood.. I guess that's a sign of character(weak.. )

thank you chuff,you have a good point,the thing i think i'm most afraid is if i get involved in a ''great'' relationship i'll make a mess out of it..due to the fact i will take the person's interest for granted or become more scared cause i won't know how to handle a guy that really wants to be with me,and only when he/or i end it,i would realize the difference between someone who really cares and someone who doesn't..
you've given me something to think about..
thanx


If you get involved with a great guy that is loyal the and you screw up (providing were not talking about cheating) then what's the big deal. A loyal guy will understand. And if the relationship ends you've spent your time with someone who actually cared about you as opposed to using you. The pain of the break up will be painful as they are not fun but when you get back on your feet you would be able to take that experience and use it with another good guy that also sees you more then a number.

Look, nobody wants to get hurt but you also have to ask yourself, "Do I want to be used?" and "Aren't I worth more then I allow?" If you feel like your not you must do something about that before you can date any guys, good or bad.

If you get involved with a great guy that is loyal the and you screw up (providing were not talking about cheating) then what's the big deal. A loyal guy will understand. And if the relationship ends you've spent your time with someone who actually cared about you as opposed to using you. The pain of the break up will be painful as they are not fun but when you get back on your feet you would be able to take that experience and use it with another good guy that also sees you more then a number.

Look, nobody wants to get hurt but you also have to ask yourself, "Do I want to be used?" and "Aren't I worth more then I allow?" If you feel like your not you must do something about that before you can date any guys, good or bad.

My god,you are really right.. I thought about it also.that I should figure out something's first and take a break of any guy,whether it's sth serious or not..
Just to cool things down and take into consideration all the above thoughts..
So glad I ask you guys for your help..
Thank you all..!