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View Full Version : I'm bi and she doesn't believe me.


MissMod2006
Apr 29, 2007, 10:04 PM
I have been bisexual since I can remember, my childhood days I would think about girls and not the boys. During high school I would get teased and such for liking girls, but I wouldn't let it bother me. I have told my grandma twice now in the past few years that I am bisexual and she does not believe me. Most recently is around the time that my son was 5 months old. But despite on what I try to tell her, she still believes that I am not bisexual because I have a fiancé and we have a son together. Is there anything that I can do to make her understand that this is how I am and that I'm not just kidding?

1badchoice
Apr 29, 2007, 10:15 PM
What would her "believing" you accomplish? If she is loving, accepting, caring... she may not care. It may be like talking to her about what positions you use during sex. Just uncomfortable and not her business. As long as your significant other and you are both okay with it, it shouldn't matter. Especially if it's not really going to affect your relationships with others (such as family). I guess I'm just not clear on why you find it so important that she acknowledge your sexuality. Enlighten me.

MissMod2006
Apr 29, 2007, 10:18 PM
I have grown up my whole life with my grandparents (basically because of my mother). I have always looked for their understanding and acceptance in a lot of things. It bothers me that she denies to herself and to me that I am bisexual.

1badchoice
Apr 30, 2007, 12:44 AM
I myself am bisexual so I can understand some of the feelings your going through. I just think that often we are being a bit selfish to expect those we love to come around to our way of thinking. More than likely your grandmother is "set in her ways". She has a set of opinions that she obtained throughout her entire life, society, family, etc. The political/social climate was a whole lot different then... If you planned to openly have a male lover/partner then maybe her acceptance would be more important. You are however living with a woman, probably seeing men on the side. Not something she has to come face to face with daily. More of a "what you do behind closed doors" kind of thing. While I understand your need for acceptance/approval, in some cases it's just selfish to expect of people who aren't capable of changing so drastically.

MissMod2006
Apr 30, 2007, 05:50 AM
Hmmmm I'm female.

1badchoice
Apr 30, 2007, 02:29 PM
My answer won't change if your male or female. Unless you intend to bring various partners around your family... it's probably best not to push your grandmother to accept something she may not be able to. If you planned on living your life with another woman and seeing men on the side it may be different. As you've explained... she is comfortable knowing the part that she does know about. It's not essential for her to know every detail of your personal life. And generally it's just selfish to expect her to deal with a situation that really won't be at the forefront of your life involving her. If your partner accepts your bisexuality... good. That's probably the most important. Unless you later decide to be partner's with a woman... most women you get involved with will not be meeting/interacting with extended family. This may be too confusing to someone with a set of beliefs/ideas. And not relevant to her love for you.

Fr_Chuck
Apr 30, 2007, 02:53 PM
What is the big deal in making sure your grandmother has to know, you told her, leave it as that.

RubyPitbull
Apr 30, 2007, 03:03 PM
Yes, I have to agree with 1badchoice and Fr Chuck.

MissMod, our sex lives are personal. Your Grandmother loves you. Why can't that be enough for you? If you do get her to understand, how does that change anything? Are you planning on introducing her to a new girlfriend and you are afraid of her rejecting you? If not, then you need to let it go. She doesn't understand because you are with a man now, you have a baby by this man. So, it doesn't add up in her head that you like women too. You are in a committed relationship with a man. For Grandma, that is the end of the story for her. If you choose to leave him for a woman down the road, then she will have to change her way of thinking. Hopefully, she will be understanding about that if that should occur.