dreadshawn
Apr 28, 2007, 11:12 AM
Howdy folks,
I have been seeing this girl for 2 years now, and since about the year-and-a-half mark, I have been getting progressively disillusioned with her and her approach to life. When we first started dating, she was an awesome girl (aren't they all at first? Lol!), full of spunk, spit, and fire. So help me, I love a strong woman (likely because I come from a family of strong, dedicated women). Soon thereafter, she was hit by a major shock from her family, of which I will not go into discussion here for privacy issues. Naturally, she crumbled a good bit by this news, and it has taken her a while to recover.
She is still "recovering."
She refuses to take care of herself in any way, and it occurs that she is now excessively out of shape, and her living situation is not exactly pristine. She still hasn't called her landlord to create a new lease after her old roommate has moved out, nor has she paid her rent for several months or taken any real pains to find a new roommate. I am not a jerk in that I "only date thin women," and I do appreciate curves, but I especially appreciate people who respect and maintain their bodies. She used to be beautifully curvy, but now those curves have turned to rolls, and my sexual libido has all but disappeared with her. It has been several months (perhaps six?) since the last time we've had sex, but at that point it has gotten so bad for me that she is the ONLY one who orgasms. I get nothing every time. I can still "take care of myself" just fine; she just does nothing to bring me to orgasm. She has no opinion on anything anyone says; whenever I ask her for her thoughts, it is always "nothing." If I do anything wrong, she won't call me on it (instead she will sit and sulk), and she would never admit when something is bothering her. I am beginning to think that she has given up on life.
I love a good discourse (conversation), and I love the idea of being in a two-way relationship, wholly dedicated to the other person. When all is stripped away, and it is her and I watching a movie, or eating dinner, all is right with the world. She is the first person who has made me care for another, and she makes me want to be all that I can be for her: kind, understanding, caring, healthy, dedicated, faithful, determined, and a success in life. So far, I've seen NOTHING in her to suggest that she feels the same way. I want to be her friend at the very least to the end of ages, but I am not too sure anymore that being a BF is that great an idea.. I've noticed that over the past couple of months I have been slowly checking out of the relationship, and even mildly started looking elsewhere. I could never cheat, neither in mind nor body, but I cannot help but wonder...
I love her dearly, enough so that I am willing to let her go to "force" her to stand on her own two feet. The only thing we share financially is a phone plan, nothing else. I live in my own apartment for my own peace of mind, and I refuse to move in with another girl until marriage. Sex, yes. Cohabitation, no.
I love her, should I let her go and just be a friend? She has wretchedly low self-esteem, making this all the more tricky... Wow, what to do?
I have been seeing this girl for 2 years now, and since about the year-and-a-half mark, I have been getting progressively disillusioned with her and her approach to life. When we first started dating, she was an awesome girl (aren't they all at first? Lol!), full of spunk, spit, and fire. So help me, I love a strong woman (likely because I come from a family of strong, dedicated women). Soon thereafter, she was hit by a major shock from her family, of which I will not go into discussion here for privacy issues. Naturally, she crumbled a good bit by this news, and it has taken her a while to recover.
She is still "recovering."
She refuses to take care of herself in any way, and it occurs that she is now excessively out of shape, and her living situation is not exactly pristine. She still hasn't called her landlord to create a new lease after her old roommate has moved out, nor has she paid her rent for several months or taken any real pains to find a new roommate. I am not a jerk in that I "only date thin women," and I do appreciate curves, but I especially appreciate people who respect and maintain their bodies. She used to be beautifully curvy, but now those curves have turned to rolls, and my sexual libido has all but disappeared with her. It has been several months (perhaps six?) since the last time we've had sex, but at that point it has gotten so bad for me that she is the ONLY one who orgasms. I get nothing every time. I can still "take care of myself" just fine; she just does nothing to bring me to orgasm. She has no opinion on anything anyone says; whenever I ask her for her thoughts, it is always "nothing." If I do anything wrong, she won't call me on it (instead she will sit and sulk), and she would never admit when something is bothering her. I am beginning to think that she has given up on life.
I love a good discourse (conversation), and I love the idea of being in a two-way relationship, wholly dedicated to the other person. When all is stripped away, and it is her and I watching a movie, or eating dinner, all is right with the world. She is the first person who has made me care for another, and she makes me want to be all that I can be for her: kind, understanding, caring, healthy, dedicated, faithful, determined, and a success in life. So far, I've seen NOTHING in her to suggest that she feels the same way. I want to be her friend at the very least to the end of ages, but I am not too sure anymore that being a BF is that great an idea.. I've noticed that over the past couple of months I have been slowly checking out of the relationship, and even mildly started looking elsewhere. I could never cheat, neither in mind nor body, but I cannot help but wonder...
I love her dearly, enough so that I am willing to let her go to "force" her to stand on her own two feet. The only thing we share financially is a phone plan, nothing else. I live in my own apartment for my own peace of mind, and I refuse to move in with another girl until marriage. Sex, yes. Cohabitation, no.
I love her, should I let her go and just be a friend? She has wretchedly low self-esteem, making this all the more tricky... Wow, what to do?