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View Full Version : She insults me around "him".


Amaryllis
Apr 27, 2007, 07:28 PM
I have a friend, "Missy," who's really liked this guy for about three years? Which I'm fine with; he's fun to be around, but I don't "like" him or anything so it's not like a tug-'o-war situation. :) In any case, Missy starts acting "cute" around him--hyper, annoying, giggly, over-exaggerates, kind of wispy-if you know what I mean-, etc. It's totally unlike what she's really like, but I figure if that's the way she wants to go try and attract his attention, fine, whatever...
She practically runs over to him whenever he's in the room and has even made the excuse of sitting by me because my assigned seat's next to his.
I'm pretty okay with all of that, though it's kind of irritating. What really bothers me, though, is that just the other day, Missy indirectly insulted me in front of that guy to make herself look good? I'm most likely over-reacting and she probably didn't even realize it in the first place, and I've even forgotten what the conversation was about. :p (Of course, this is going to be terribly biased—and like a mtn. made of a molehill. :o ) But I said something, and then Missy was like, "Actually, blahblah. . ." The tone of her comment made me feel like I was stupid and had less knowledge in the area than her, which I don't really think is true... She doesn't normally go around dissing me or anything, so I was kind of surprised when she said that to me.
I guess I kind of understand why she's acting like this since I've had quick crushes too, but I think this is kind of unnecessary, trying to impress the guy you have a crush on (who cares for how many years... ) by degrading your friend of at least five years to make yourself look better..

What I'm trying to do is to somehow let Missy know what she said made me feel bad about myself. I've always found her pretty annoying around that guy, but saying that to her face would be mean. :p So I've never done that.
So, basically, she has no way to be kind of "prepared" for it. Just suddenly saying that what she said around that guy made me feel like an idiot wouldn't be fair to spring on her.

So what do you think I should do.. Thank you for taking time~

Syujin
Apr 27, 2007, 08:26 PM
Talking is the best cure for any freindship and I believe that you should just have a one on one chat with "missy" about your problem remember use "I" messages as in I feel like I was insulted last week while you were talking to this guy and I feel this way about it. Just ake sure not to place any blame in any direction and the whole thing should resolve itself.

Syujn

talaniman
Apr 27, 2007, 10:00 PM
You did say she is a friend didn't you? I can't see it.

shygrneyzs
Apr 27, 2007, 10:10 PM
She is not a good friend, or a true friend, or even a friend at all, from what I can see. A friend does not deliberately insult a friend to make her ownself look good. It just does not happen - SHOULD not happen. This girl has her priorities messed up. But she is going to continue this pattern of behavior because she sees that you tolerate it.

Yes, you need to sit her down and explain exactly how you felt when she said what she said. Her words are her responsibility. Tell her how you her statements made you feel put down, like you were not important to her. Actually her behavior to you is demeaning. You are worth much more than what she is giving. If she values this guy more than you, then let her go. Let her know that you have cut the ties with her and are moving on to better friends - ones that value you as a person all the time, not just when it is convenient for them.

You do not have to endure being slammed or made to feel stupid. No, you deserve more. But you got to stand up for yourself because no one else is going to. A friend like Missy - you can find them anywhere at anytime. A friend like you - priceless.

LuvMyMaltipoo
Apr 27, 2007, 10:10 PM
You can talk to her about it if you want, although I wouldn't keep "friends" around that act like that. Honestly, she is probably making herself like a moron in front of this guy, so it's doing her more harm than good.

playful child
Apr 28, 2007, 10:54 AM
Tell her how u feel if she don't listen tell her straight up about what she did .