View Full Version : I feel like a failure
robertsqueen
Apr 27, 2007, 09:14 AM
Okay I don't know how to say this but I feel like a failure. I have studied my butt off in math and this last test I studied the most... I still only got a 30%. This means that I am flunking math. I have tried to talk to the teacher but all he says is do better. I barley see my own son... I am always studying, and working. Or at school. My husband stays with him during the day.. and my son prefers him. I am trying to cope with my aunts illness, and my brothers drug addiction. I feel like I am failing at everything. My husband is bored with life. I am just about ready to give up... please help me. Am I a failure?:(
robertsqueen
Apr 27, 2007, 09:30 AM
Anyone?
CaptainRich
Apr 27, 2007, 09:36 AM
I don't understand how you can think of yourself as a failure. If anything, you may acknowlege you've got a lot on your proverbial plate. Have you looked at everything going on in your life and said "I can control it all?" Step back and look at each dilemma and see if it's yours or does this issue belong to someone else.
Tuscany
Apr 27, 2007, 09:39 AM
Is there a tutoring building on your campus? Many campuses have a math lab that can help you with the higher math demads of college. Are you a failure, heck no!! You made it to college, and can juggle class and a family. I would say you are anything but a failure.
Are you able to spend time with your husband just you and him? Perhaps that is what you both need to feel special again. Maybe take a Saturday night for the 2 of you... and then a Sunday for the three of you. Put school on the back burner for one weekend. It just might rejuvinate you enough to get you through the semester.
Emland
Apr 27, 2007, 09:45 AM
Math was the tough course for me, too. Statistics made me cry every time I tried to tackle an exam. I would agree that finding a tutor would be a great idea. You need help with the concepts and looks like the teacher is no help.
You have a lot going on. You are not a failure - you are just having a Supermom crisis. You will get through it. Does your school offer online classes? That was the only way I could manage going back to school.
Hang in there.
iscorpio
Apr 27, 2007, 02:45 PM
Okay I don't know how to say this but I feel like a failure. I have studied my butt off in math and this last test I studied the most...I still only got a 30%. This means that I am flunking math. I have tried to talk to the teacher but all he says is do better. I barley see my own son...I am always studying, and working. or at school. My husband stays with him during the day..and my son prefers him. I am trying to cope with my aunts illness, and my brothers drug addiction. I feel like I am failing at everything. My husband is bored with life. I am just about ready to give up.......please help me. Am I a failure?:(
No you are not a failure, you are a wife and mother and you try to be there for both your brother and your aunt, how can this be failure, so you can't make the grade in maths at the moment, it is not the end of the world, you cannot be good at everything, try again when you do not have so much on your plate, I reckon that you deserve a medal for what you having to deal with at the moment and as for your son of course he does not prefer your husband he loves you both equally, is just that the circumstances dictate that your husband is there more for him at the moment, you make me laugh when you say your husband is bored, well maybe he can take on some more of your workload, I am sorry but with you run off your feet and he is bored well does that not say it all. Come on be serious you a failure no way. Take care, love and peace anne x
Rainbow Voice
Apr 29, 2007, 10:55 AM
RobertsQueen,
I've read a few of your posts.
In my humble opinion king Robert should be very proud of the queen he has!
To be honest with you you're too great to have such a question in mind = ) .
robertsqueen
Apr 29, 2007, 05:17 PM
Thank you guys for your support. Sometimes life just gets too much you know? It is hard being a student, working and being a mother... and sometimes I just need a boost, cuase my family won't give it to me.
TheSavage
Apr 29, 2007, 05:39 PM
No dear lady-- after reading many of your posts, my humble opinion would have to be no.-- Savage
robertsqueen
May 6, 2007, 08:19 PM
So I flunked math... I got a 50% in the class. And my mom hates me now.. and thinks that I am failiure.. I just don't know anymore?
Emland
May 7, 2007, 05:40 AM
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.
Seems to me you had a crummy math teacher. "Do better" isn't teaching. Ask around and maybe someone can suggest a math prof that is a little better at instructing. What level of math are we talking about, BTW?
Put mom on mental hold, enjoy your kid for a while and pick back up in the semester.
Tuscany
May 7, 2007, 06:46 AM
Start the new semester with a new and improved feeling on math. Right in the beginning of the class ask the teacher if he would be available for extra help. If he is not available ask him if he knows if there is a math lab or math tutorial program offered at school. Then go there! Be proactive now that you know that you are struggling with math.
But for right now... enjoy the time off that you have. Put this class behind you, and ask your mom to do the same. Dwelling on something rom the past that you can't change will hinder your success in the future.
robertsqueen
May 7, 2007, 09:47 AM
I have to pay for a whole semister of college... How am I going to do that??
Tuscany
May 7, 2007, 09:50 AM
Pay your mom back or pay for the upcoming semeser?
robertsqueen
May 7, 2007, 09:52 AM
Pay for the upcoming semister which is like 2,000 dollars... I can't afford that! I am so disapointed in myself
Tuscany
May 7, 2007, 10:04 AM
Can you apply for grants or loans?
Is this because she is so upset with you getting a failing grade? Maybe you should sit your mom down and calmly discuss your difficulties in math over the last sememster. Together make a plan of what you can do to be more successful. Perhaps that will help her see that you are serious. Then ask her if she will pay for the semester and then you can pay her back little by little. That way you don't stop attending school.
Let me let you in on a little something Queen dear. Guess what, I failed 2 math courses during my prerequisite semesters, yet I got into nursing school after having to take them over again, I won't tell you how many times. I came to find out I have a learning disbility in math, it is much like dyslexia, but is called dyscalculia.
So, I am not a failure, neither are you.
Your mother has not supported you on many fronts over the past few years (remember the thread about your relative over easter?) What makes you think she will support you now?
Go to the financial aid office, apply for grants, loans, scholarships. There are many out there tailor fit to every circumstance. Meet with your advisor, ask what kind of remediation they offer if any.
Your college must have a Student Support Services that offers tutoring for free in many cases.
One semester I spent 250 hours, yes 250 HOURS, in tutoring and went to Intermediate Algebra Monday, Wednesday and Friday during my scheduled class time, and also went Monday and Wednesday to sit in during OTHER class times. Guess what, I passed, but I believe it was because the instructor knew I knew the math, but froze on tests. This was the SECOND time I took this course, but I chose a different instructor the second time around.
Sweetie, we are here to support you, if not monitarily, then emotionally. You my dear are NOT a failure! You have a full plate right now and have NO time to concentrate on everything.
Take the summer off, tell your mom off, and worry about you, your kiddo hubby and aunt, then start fresh in the fall. You will be amazed what a break will do!
robertsqueen
May 7, 2007, 06:28 PM
I can't get any help from finacail aid I am on fianacial aid suspension. So that is out. I also have the same math disability, plus horrible test anxiety. All he graded on was test and quizzes... no homework.. If he graded on homework I would have passed with a c. I am going to just pay for this semister and prove everyone wrong... they think I am going to drop out. I am also going to take this time to spend with my son. I want to thank all of my friends here at the ask help desk that have helped me out of many situations. I consider you all very close friends.. even though we have not met. So thank you.
gogosean
May 7, 2007, 06:38 PM
Okay I don't know how to say this but I feel like a failure. I have studied my butt off in math and this last test I studied the most...I still only got a 30%. This means that I am flunking math. I have tried to talk to the teacher but all he says is do better. I barley see my own son...I am always studying, and working. or at school. My husband stays with him during the day..and my son prefers him. I am trying to cope with my aunts illness, and my brothers drug addiction. I feel like I am failing at everything. My husband is bored with life. I am just about ready to give up.......please help me. Am I a failure?:(
You are not a failure, but you are a very busy person. The assumptions about students that do well in school are that they are supported, well rested, and have time to study. I have seen remarkable results from people who go to professional tutoring centers. I do not know what kind of math you are learning. If you are in college, then most math departments have "math labs". For high school and below, some states require that school districts offer free tutoring, especially to those with hardships.
Matt3046
May 7, 2007, 06:39 PM
I would say enjoy your boy, before he has to go to school.
Parajr
May 7, 2007, 06:59 PM
You just have too many things going on right now. I'm sure if you only had a few less things to focus on your production would rise. I suck at math, and I know it. So I majored in psychology. Sometimes we fail becaue our goals are unrealistic. Tyr trimming down the load that your carry, and you will reach your destination more quick.
Tuscany
May 8, 2007, 07:03 AM
Dyscalculia is a rather old disability that is now regaining "popularity." Although I don't think popularity is the right word. Dyscalculia is the reversal of numbers, the shifting of numbers on a page and/or the inability to line numbers up for calculations.
One great strategy to help you is the use graph paper when doing calculations. Using one box for each number helps keep each number in the correct spot. Also using a calculator with larger numbers helps.
Dyscalculia.org (http://www.dyscalculia.org/)
Great website...
emosis_03
May 8, 2007, 06:34 PM
Well... I'm only 16 and the only thing I can say to you is that: YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE... No one is!. It just happens that in some moments thing are not going the way we planned. I have flunked in economics last year and I felt just like you because I learned all the friking book!. It suck, but it's better to carry on and try it again!
You go girl!! I admire you for the fact that you work, study and have a son:)... That makes U a winner weeeeee!
I am so with Tuscany here!!
My math notes are hilarious!!
I did this for College Algebra and RULED Kramer's Rule!! I flunked Basic Algebra (twice, but don't tell anyone) and Intermediate Algebra (twice, but don't tell anyone) but ended up with an A in College Algebra, how you ask?
I took stock in graph paper and colored erasable pencils. All of my math was done on graph paper with every step of each calculation done in different colors.
I now use colors for my nursing notes.
Dyscalculia.org (http://www.dyscalculia.org/)
Great website...
I LOVE the website!!
MicheleEB
May 9, 2007, 10:56 AM
For some people math really is tough. Did you find a tutor on campus? Another thought, is there a lower level math class that you can take? When I started back to school after 12 years I was placed in one class, but I took the one below it so that I made sure I really got it. It made a huge difference, not only that but you may find that for some reason the instructor just didn't fit your learning style. Don't give up... there is always another way :)
kellkell
May 9, 2007, 07:07 PM
I have so much respect for adults that are trying to go to school and work and take care of family commitments. It is hard. I did it for a couple years.
You find there will be moments like this, that are moments of defeat where you feel like you can't go on. But you pick yourself up and somehow you carry on and move forward. I don't know. Maybe it is looking at your life and realizing that there is so much more or looking at your kids and thinking that you want to set an example and be able to provide for them comfortably.
This challenge for you in not insurmountable. Extra tutoring can help (like others have suggested). You need to find a method that works for you. I repeated a math course a few years ago that I has previously passed with a low mark in high school. The math teacher I had was amazing. From him I learned that there is usually more that one way to calculate/formulate an answer. By the time that the test came I would have two ways to determine the right answer, you know, like a double check.
You are smart and you have obtainable goals and your priorities are good. You really can make it and accomplish what you want. So don't give up. Please.
robertsqueen
May 9, 2007, 09:34 PM
Thank you guys for your support.. you and my husband are the only ones I am getting support from. I tried the tutoring center... but the lady was rude and acted like I was dumb. I am in basic math.. I am going to pay for the semister of college and then I am going to contiunue on... I can't let this obsticle get in the way of my goal of being a wonderful CPS worker. I Won't
cal823
May 10, 2007, 04:02 AM
Hey, your not a failure.
How do I know this?
You replied to my introductions post, saying "have a wonderful day"
No one has said anything like that to me in a long time, you Succeeded in bringing a smile to my face, in one of my darkest moods.
Anyone who can do that, is not a failure.
Also, you have a husband. You have found the one you love, you have succeeded beyond many peoples wildest dreams.
Finnally, the only failure, is when you stop trying, when you give up.
Never give up, never give in, and you will never fail.