Well this is a tough one but what should I do? Ok it all started about three years ago and I meet this girl who was kind of dating one of my teammates on my hockey team, but they broke up for a while and we started dating. But I had to leave for college on a hockey scholarship so we decided to just be friends. We are still really close through everything, but she starts dating the other guy again and they have been dating for about two years now.They are now engaged to get married but I am in love with her and we still talk everyday and hangout when I am back at home. Should I tell her how I really feel and make things complicated for her or should I just not say anything? I believe she is the one for me and I don't want to regret leting her go but I only want what's best for her. What Should I do?

I don't think anything can be done now ! After all she'z getting married . If you want you can tell her how much you loved her and then just wish her a happy married life ! I feel sorry for you man but these damn chicks... they are weird !

IF you love her 100% - you need to tell her.

BUT, IS she really in in love with this other guy? If she really is then might be best not to say anything. Is this other guy a creep at all?

Are you just in friends mode with her? Or do you think she has feelings for you... Ash is right - woman are just weird - she may even reject you immediately - but then call you two days later and say she loves you.

SEE with woman it how the feel. You might bring up some massive emotions in her. She may need to reflect for a day or two.

What do you have to lose really? Do you want to see her marry this guy with out ever saying anything?

I say do it. What do lose? An invite to the wedding and a sore husband?

Oh cmon wildcat ! She'z getting married ! If she rejects him he'll just hv to forget about it. Brentos you need to tell it to her if you really love her. Just make sure you say it pretty softly. Something like " i hv something to tell u ... i really love you alot ... i really dont wanna mess up ur life at this point of time when ur already engaged but i felt like saying it coz later in my life i shouldnt regret coz i didnt let u know how i felt about u ... i hv really enjoyed being with u and if u want we can still be friends"... think about saying for some time and then say it ! If she really loves u... as wildcat said she'll come back to you... lets just hope for your best :)... just don't screw it up while saying whtever you hv to !

Yes - just do it.

Be firm, confident about it.

I swear she may reject you immediately - THEN, then 2 days later call you.

HERE IS THE KEY:

IF she rejects you, you MUST act cool and calm - "Say Ok, I want what's best for you, can we still be friends?" etc.

Do not beg, do not grovel - woman hate that!

She most likely will freak out about how cool and calm you are and see you in a new light! Seriously. I've seen it before in break ups and someone asking someoen out.

THEN don't call her for a few days. Don't call.

Yeah... if she rejects... don't ask her anything.. just ask her if u guys can be friends... if she agree'z or if she rejects YOU... just wait for her to get in touch for a few days... if u think its been too long... check out some other girls !

Well we went out to dinner tonight and I let her know that I am in love with her. But I told her that I only wanted what's best for her. She replied by saying I knew you were going to tell me that. She said she still has a lot of feelings for me and that I treated her better then anyone else. But that is all she said, I didn't want to push it so I quickly went to a different subject and we both acted like nothing ever happened. So, does she love me more then him or does she just want to be friends, I guess I should have asked her what she wanted right. So what should I do now.

Dude! Seriously?

Way to go - you did great!! I forgot to tell you NEVER ask for clarification! Never!! Pefect!! YOU PUT NO MORE Pressure ON HER FOR NOW!! Beautiful!!

Dude - these are woman - they don't make sense - you might feel you did wrong - but NO - that is awsome!!

Don't call for a few days!! Please don't!! Let her 'reflect'! Let her 'wonder'! Let her 'Miss you'! These are woman's words and things THEY WANT! Believe me!

She didn't want to talk about it because she is totally freaking out inside.

The guy should NEVER ask for clarification - I've made the mistake. She needs some time now. Do NOT GET NEEDY at this point - find stuff to do - workout, work, friends, hobbies.

You need to act like you CAN GO ON WITH OUT her. Very important. No pressure - no needy.

Dude... indirectly what she meant was she has "LOADS" of feelings for u... but man if she gets in touch... just make sure you don't act as if your dying to get her!. wildcat is right... just let her feel for u... also whenever you talk to her... don't show that your waiting to get back with her... u can also try getting close to her but at the same time maintain a distance ! Kind of push pull way :p... ENJOY DUDE !

I agree with Ash - if she mentioned she still had feelings for you - she has LOADS of feelings. For a woman to say that.

PLEASE give her some time. Maybe if she calls today - don't return her call right away - I am dead serious - this is important. Another woman word - let her 'reach' for you.

Be a little bit of a challenge now is wha tI am trying to say. Ash - right - push-pull. So important.

You could tripple those feelings and old fiance-boy will be left in the dust.

Wild'z right... man don't contact her much... be a man of few words ;) and let "HER" contact u... instead let her contact u... because if you contact her much... she would think your desperate... which we know you are... but she shouldn't know that ! She'z love it if you handle the situation calmly... use push - pull... its damn effective and it boosts up the attraction levels like hell!. but don't screw it up by pushing her away too much or pulling her too close ! See her comfort levels when you use such methods... and wildcat... its going to be real hard to do ! Because our friend will be dying to talk to that girl !

What wildcat said about women "Another woman word - let her 'reach' for you." thts so damn true ! And that goes for everyone

Now just wait for her to come back ! U almost did what you had to so cheer up and relax !

Also meet her fiancé... talk to him... he'll feel better :P

And don't give askmehelpdesk.com'z address to her fiancé ! :cool:

Hey guys, well she is coming to see me this weekend and I did not invite her, she called me lat last night crying and saying that she needs to talk with me face to face. Is that bad or good? Well she said she really misses me and that all she can think about is me. So do think we are meant to be ar is she going to break it off with me.

THTS AWESOME ! Looks like she wants to be with u ;)... but you still keep using the push pull ! Don't be so sure about anything till she breaks up with her finace and asks you to be with her ! But if she was crying and if she said she wants to be with u... its what she really wants :)... one more thing... when you meet her this weekend... act as if your like a good friend unless she tells you that she really wants to be with u... ask her if she'd like to be with u.. what about her fiancé ? Be nice :p... and let us know if you guys get together ! And stay calm :D

Wow! You are there dude!

Sometimes woman marry guys/get engaged because they think there will not be another shot - the guy who asked is a decent dude. She may not be ready to get married.

You played it SO COOL the other night if you DID NOT ASK for clarification. DO NOT ask this weekend. Let her state how she feels - you need more information before you say how you feel.

Spend time with her - LISTEN - I think it' great she needs to talk face to face. You really opened her emotions it sounds.

She may want to know what your intentions are - I'd be totally prepared on what to say. You may need 2 responses - one that she is in love with you and she doesn't know what to do - two - she is going to marry the dude (still be very cool about - "What ever you want to do - can I still see yo uuntil you get married?" - it may kill you, but support her, it will INCREASE even more attraction.

She could possibly break it off - but I doubt it - she would have said something at your dinner - like, "I like you a lot, but I am marrying ----". She could have easily told you that over the phone as well.

Just be cool, happy, give her attention, confident - act like you could be with her or with out her. No desperation.

Of course you need to tell her how you feel. But in a no pressure way. Just make it known to her that you know it won't change anything, but you just needed to get it off your chesta and elt the truth out. It's a logn shot, but you never know what love has in store fro you.

Dude - what happened??

Dude!!

Where the hell are you?? What happened??

Why do men always do this?? This girl probably would have loved to hear that you loved her but now she just see's you as a mate, you waited to long! Plus are you sure you love her r the idea of her? I've done the same, tend to see things through rose tinted glasses, you always remember the good stuff. You said you seen her everyday, if she does things in front of you that others girls wouldn't your just an honourary girl in her eyes. Sorry.

First Of All... WHERE'Z THIS DUDE ! I hope he didn't run away with that girl :p

Second Thing!!
Irishgirl... we are scared to tell it because most of the times we just think that you girls would like to be just friends and nothing else... other than that... all the girls try to be on the safer side being just friends... and guys can't think and understand how or what a woman feels ! OK ? Moreover in this situation when the person you love is getting married... u think that its better you don't tell it ! Moreover we also think its better being friends than getting slapped on the face or a kick in the crotch or getting abused by the girl and never see her again !

Wow Ash, you sound angry! Did I offend?

Same thing goes for us though, nobody can read another persons (male or female) mind so we're all in the same boat. I just think from a girls point of view that once you in the friend frame of mind you rarely change it.

Girls all like men who are direct with their feelings and willing to tell you how they feel, there's nothing worse than dragging it out of them. A girl would also have to be pretty cheeky to throw I love you, or something similar, back in your face.

Sorry if I looked like as if I was pissed... u didn't offend me... but irishgirl... I hv seen many girls who don't even send signals ! A guy can tell if the girl sends out signals.. on the other hand there are some guys who are so stupid they can't understand any signals ! There are also some girls who just be themselves (they hv this flirty attitude)... but if a guy thinks she likes him and tells her that he likes her... they just act as if they didn't even send those signals ! Last but not the least... girls love to play games ! Thanks to those games, most of the times the guy gets lost !

And irish... I know girls love guys who direct, dominant, who can stand up for themselves and all that :P inshort they like the real man! And when they describe their ideal man they say he should be sweet, he should always hv time for me, etc etc :p

Woman will tell you what they prefer - BUT, it's NOT what they really want.

AND - what ever you do - DON'T ask a woman what she wants in far as a man goes - AND it doesn't matter one bit. All that matters is how she feels about you! You might be 5'4" - bald - and a beer gut - but you might make her laugh and she may just adore you.

They'll say they want a "nice guy", romance, etc. - then sleep with a jerk/bad boy.

Lol'z yeah thts what I meant wildcat. Also the cocky and funny method works real well with any chicks ! If she enjoys your company... she can be yours !

Cocky funny is so important. They want to laugh - you only have a few moments before a woman decides if she likes you or not in a romantic type way - you have to make her feel. Seriously - it's very hard to change a woman's mind.

Where is this guy?? I awsume it went sour??

Lol'z wild... I guess it went well ! Thts y now he doesn't hv time to come back :p

Then what? What are you actually prepared to do?

What exactly are you prepared to offer her?

Where is this guy??