Log in

View Full Version : How to forget about this woman (Going insane)


smith1012
Apr 24, 2007, 01:31 PM
Okay f*** this!

How can I get this woman out of my head? Serious to god how do I do it? Can I take some pills to relieve the thoughts I''m getting so that I can for once be happy when coming home after school. I'm going insane here please help me.

I Don't give a damn about her... I don't WANT to give a damn about her. I wish I can just forget about her because I just can't live with the fact I never will be able to talk to her. I tried to positive about this issue for a month now. I always say to myself," okay man tommrow will be the day you'll get a chance to talk to her." I'm going insane by the fact we always just pass each other and just say "hi". That's it. I know I have a crush on her. I admit it and now I want the crush to just die. Everyday after school I just jump onto my bed all depressed thinking about how beautiful she is and how I can't even get alone time with her to just get to know each other more.

I guess one main reason is that I'm always depressed and shy at school seeing that I have no body to talk to. All my friends left high school after graduation and I'm still here in school not knowing anybody. It's hard for me to make friends because I don't know what to say to people when I want to meet them and I'm ALWAYS NEGATIVE ABOUT things. I try my best to stop thinking negative and try to fill it in with positive. It works for a couple of seconds then I would suddenly become all negative. Now this woman I have a serious crush on is killing to the point that the negatives I think are more extreme making me depressed in all ways.

I jues can't wait till high school is over so that I don't have to be all depressed after walking alone and not being able to talk to this woman. I'll get to meet new DIFFERENT people in college and might all meet up with friends, yet I don't know if I'll forget about the woman I have a crush, therefore I want sme advice on how to fully forget her beautifulness.

ChristianII
Apr 24, 2007, 01:59 PM
I know what it is like to have a crush and keeping it in. I have a few advices for you:

To get rid of the crush: Avoid the person. Extremely hard but it works eventually. Just don't give it any thought. I had a crush on this girl. I said nothing and at one point she got a boyfriend. I thought to myself, that if I hadn't said anything it was only fair and I kept it in. It feels like cr*p, believe me but it worked. The boyfriend has long since broken up with her and we are fairly good buddies now. :)

But if you have someone you can trust I would recommend talking to them. You´d be surprised at how much it helps when you can share the load of something. :)

Good luck mate.

smith1012
Apr 24, 2007, 02:22 PM
Thanks for your reply

The problem is it is just my thoughts, they get to me and make me so depressed. I don't know if its me but I sometimes feel that she doesn't talk to me for the reason I don't talk to her. We are so unknown to each (means of not talking at much as buddies do) that we feel shy amongst each other. I get thoughts how just wanting to forget about even though I really want to talk to her. I get so pissed at myself for not taking the courage to talk to her that it makes me want to just forget about her so that I can move on and not feel so depressed.

You can't explain how happy I feel if she gets so happy to see me. It's like all my anxiety has left my system. I am able to talk to other people just like that. When I never see her the whole day I get so depressed to the point I never try talking to anyone at school. I know to make some friends, I should force myself to talk to someone but with her in my mind I just can't :(

Secret_J
Apr 24, 2007, 03:29 PM
You need to find someone that you can talk to. It's definitely not healthy keeping such high emotions inside without having a friend or relative to talk to. Sounds to me that you are VERY infatuated with this girl and if you are really wanting to get in contact with her but are afraid to talk, there is also a form of a letter. Corny as it may sound, but a letter will get you started on communicating with her without confronting her in person.

talaniman
Apr 24, 2007, 05:19 PM
I like the letter idea, that's what we did back in the day before cell phones and computers. I suggest though that you get help for your shy issue, as it seems to get in the way of a healthy social life, and also consider you being so shy, what would you do with a girlfriend? Get some help from a trusted adult or a school counselor.

SoopaDuck
Apr 24, 2007, 05:58 PM
What you are going through is actually fairly common. It may seem like it really sucks, but its not the end of the world. I agree with the people that said that you should work on the shyness issue first. I disagree with the letter suggestion. She might think that you are stalking her or something.

How about this... sounds like you need some new friends. And the people that make shy people feel not so shy are other shy people. Maybe you should try talking to one of the shy girls. My bet is they are just as cool to hang out with as that other girl that you are afraid to approach. You won't feel as intimidated, therefore you will be more relaxed. It will help boost your confidence, and who knows, you might end up with a pretty cool friend.

smith1012
Apr 24, 2007, 07:32 PM
I don't know man! I just want to forget about her. Even with other forms of communication I always get that buttterfuly in my stomach and shakiness. I try to talk to her on msn but I get very nervous when I open her window. (talk about serious anxiety) It is very hard for me to make friends because I always have negative thoughts in my head about other stuff in live that interferes with talking to other people. For example, I could talk to this person sitting down on a chair but I don't want to because I'm depressed over how I can't get any chance of talking to this woman I like. I guess having no one to talk to at school can have a serious effect on how you can communicate with others that you don't really know of.

Sighz... I guess I'll end the school year with nothing but misery

missk
Apr 24, 2007, 09:05 PM
I think you just need to focus on yourself-being happy with yourself and everything else will just come into place. I have this book that I bought called "The Self-Esteem Companion" by Matthew McKay, Ph.D. Patrick Fanning, Carole Honeychurch, and Catharine Sutker. I think it will really help you. I always had negative thoughts about things and was shy and was so sick of feeling like that so I found it at book store in the self-help section about seven years ago. Some of the things that the book will help you with:

Break free from negative self-concepts and self-defeating behavior
Deal with mistakes, "shoulds" and criticism
Gain self-acceptance and a sense of competence and belonging
Understand and overcome your limitations from the past
Feel more self-confident in personal and professional relationships

It's not a long boring book. It's small and has excercises to do and it really helped me-this book would be helpful for anyone. I also like the letter idea. I think you can write to her in a way that wouldn't seem like you are stalking her.

talaniman
Apr 25, 2007, 04:55 AM
I use to stutter so bad, when I was a youth, and caught so much ridicule and mocking that I was scared to talk. Then a very wise teacher pulled me aside and had me work out what I say before hand, and as I practiced this the more confident I got, and was better able to speak without stuttering. The same can be done for you. Just work out what you want to say, and practice it a few times, and as you gain confidence that shyness will slowly disappear. Write down what you want to say and see if that helps your confidence.

ceriphante
May 3, 2007, 01:21 PM
Wait.. dude have you even TRIED to talk to her ?
That'd be the first thing to do, then get to know her a little better

Nothing worse than regretting something you didn't do over something that you did.

Good luck :)

Mockinbird
Aug 1, 2007, 12:02 AM
As a teenager I had similar issues. Guess what. We all do in one form or the other and it NEVER completely ends. It's a world of Drama at your age. That's OK you'll be fine. Do you know what. I found out in my twenties there are A lot of HOT women who are lonely and insecure. Men are afraid to ask them out the "Shes out of my league" argument. You are a fool if you think women like her are out of reach. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Give her the chance to meet you before you shut it down. Thing is... Jerks have no problem asking these girls out. Its all a numbers game. Seek the women of your dreams. You deserve no less. Beautiful, Loving, funny, smart. Will you regret never asking her out? Regret is a bitter pill when you find out she had a thing for you ten years from now. So start your life from today... exist without your friends and stand on your own. The worst thing that can happen is you don't try. Because if you try... and she looks at you like a little worm... believe me you will get over her FAST! If you try and get a positive response... you won't be so negative now will you?

Go for it ! Life is not a spectators sport!

Superfed
Aug 1, 2007, 12:50 AM
Dude, having a crush on someone is a wonderful thing. It means you like her.
You have to ask her out, isn't that what you ultimately want?

Ask her out. Just do it!

nicespringgirl
Aug 1, 2007, 06:21 AM
Try to call all of your friends - even the ones you may have ignored during your recent relationship - and make plans immediately. Now is not a good time to be alone.
Secondly,Vent when the need arises. Good friends will let you take out the photo album (again) and cry (again) and rant (again) - and they'll still love you.
Third,Allow yourself time to grieve. If you don't let yourself wallow in self-pity for a while and mourn the good times lost, your heart may harden to future relationships and love.
You need to realize that this sadness will pass.
Remember the good aspects of the relationship (there must have been some), and then get excited about the new direction your life is suddenly taking. Change can be awesome!
:)
Hope you feel better

nicespringgirl
Aug 1, 2007, 06:22 AM
You are in HS and she is a woman? Does that mean she is much older than you are? Where did you see her? Just curious?