Before I was pregnant I had two childern, there father signed over his rights. So the baby's father that I just recently had was a daddy to my two other childern as well. We were planning to get married after I had our child last month. Everything was prefect between us, never fought, trusted one another, just no problems at all. Until I started getting farther along in the pregancy. My hormones and emotions were just horrible. I would say things to him that I did not mean, nor did I want to say. I was just treating him awful, but I thought he would understand since I didn't treat him like that before I was pregnant. I wasn't like this at all with my last two, but they say all pregancys are different. But, what I am trying to get at is there anyway I can make him understand that it wasn't me when I was pregnant. Now he won't even give me the light of day. I have been trying to convince him since things started getting bad and that was around two months that I wasn't myself, but he just doesn't believe that a woman can get so emotional. About five months along he told me he didn't love me anymore due to the way I was treating him. So we split, but he said if things can get perfect between us then he wants us to be the family we both have wanted this whole time.
I just had our child a month ago, I am trying to be reasonable with him with the child and him seeing him, but he just wants to do so much with him, but he's so young. I just want us to be the family that we both want so bad, but how do I go about doing that if he won't even give me a chance to show that Im not the person I was while pregnant?

You can not use the child to make him come back to you. He does have legal rights to visitation, and can go to court and get those rights if he wants to.

You will never ever get him back by trying to use the baby to control him. If he really has parenting skill issues, you can request and even ask though the court that he takes a parenting classs or that his visitation with the child be supervised ( normally by CPS)

You can not use the child to make him come back to you. he does have legal rights to visitation, and can go to court and get those rights if he wants to.

You will never ever get him back by trying to use the baby to control him. If he really has parenting skill issues, you can request and even ask though the court that he takes a parenting classs or that his visitation with the child be supervised ( normally by CPS)


Where did you come up with me using our child to get him back? There is nothing in this paragraph that says I am trying to do so. Maybe you should read my qeustion again!
As for his rights, I am very aware of all the legal actions. My first child I went to court over and I won.. I also know that his visitations can be supervised, I do thank you for this info, but its not what I asked in my question.

Women go through an awful lot during pregnancy. The drastic hormone changes, and tolls taken on body and soul can be very difficult and just unpredictable. You may not have been so moody with the other two, but keep in mind that as you said, every pregnancy is different, AND you also have two other children and a relationship to take care of at the same time. First pregnancies are almost always the best, simply for the fact that you usually get a lot more time to relax, take it easy, pamper yourself, and spend time with your guy. However, once you have more kids, things get more hectic and no matter how much you may want or need it, that alone time, and relaxation time just gets put to the side more often then not. Men need to be understanding of what is going on with their baby's momma. However, it is so hard for them to do that. They can't really put themselves in our shoes, they can't undergo the sickness, emotional roller coasters, and physical demands that a woman does while pregnant(tho it would be every pregnant woman's dream to be able to put her husband in those shoes for just one day) It is so hard for them to understand what is going on. And they do have to put up with an awful lot when it comes to the woman's constantly changing mood swings etc. Just when they think they have them figured out, the mood changes and their emotions do a complete turn around, and they are in unknown territory again. What I am trying to say is that there needs to be understanding on both parts here. You both have to be willing to take the time to readjust to the new addition to the family, and getting to know each other over again. It probably just scared him to see a different side of you. However, there could be more to the story then he is telling you. Given the fact that you have been together for so long and in such a loving relationship up until that point, and he is suddenly ready to completely drop the relationship and isn't willing to work on, it makes me wonder if there aren't issues on his side of the story that you don't know about.Perhaps he isn't so innocent after all? The basics here, is if he isn't willing to give it another chance, no matter how badly you want to, its not going to happen. Don't push it. Try to get your point across, but if he rejects it and is obviously not wanting to talk about it, then drop it. The most important thing to do is to try and keep a friendly relationship for the children's sake, and then if the rest comes later... then great. If not, at least you will still be in a friendly relationship, rather then a hateful relationship that will hurt the children to see. As far as him wanting to do things that aren't age appropriate with the baby, remind him how fragile he is, and that he can not do things like that yet. Having two other children, he should know this already. Keep an eye on things, and just make sure you try to remind him. If he refuses to listen and still does things that could potentially hurt the baby, then you need to take further steps to make sure that he doesn't.