Hi,

I met this guy a month ago since I was planning to buy a house for myself. He is my real estate agent. We have been hanging out to see places since then. We both started sharing things about us, our likes and dislikes, relationship preferences, sex and everything under the sun. From what I understood he is looking for a stable and committed relation. Where I am not a very house wife type material. He is a little traditional, where I sound like I am not, but I could be traditional. We easily could pull off a conversation. Or may be he was trying to be nice with me since I am his client. However, when we don't meet, there won't be any calls or texts. Even if I text, he might send a late reply or will not even reply. He will not talk over phone or text. And again when we meet he behaves as if we are on a date. We met one day to sign a document since I was almost finalizing on a unit and we talked for 3hours out of which hardly 20 minutes was about the house. From the way he talks, it looks like he has some interest in me. And I am sure I have given enough hints that I like him. Even then, we both have never admitted that we want to date each other. I talk as if I am looking for my perfect guy, and he says 'you will find, don't worry'. Same is with him. He once told me that his friend asked for my pictures. It actually accidentally slipped out of his mouth and he didn't intentionally mean to say it. So I asked him 'why would your friend ask for my pictures, what were you talking about me' - and he said he doesn't remember the conversation. He has been pretty busy with real estate. So I kept on asking if he would ever find time for himself and what is the point in making money if he doesn't have time for himself. I told him that I go for salsa classes and I have some hobbies. He defended himself first. But last time when I saw him he told me that he reactivated his gym membership, and since the time I told him to take out time for himself he has been doing that and that he feels good about it. He also told that he is planning to join salsa, and that he has gone for classes before. When I asked what gift he will give when I close the deal, he said he will take me out for dinner and then go dance. I replied 'that's it'. He says 'then what, you want a diamond ring'. I said 'yes, I wouldn't mind'. I was actually joking. For which he replied 'Ok you are taking things way too ahead'.
We only have met so far for real estate related stuff. I hinted a couple of times that I want to hang out with him. So he replied that 'we will hang out later'. Last week when we met(the three hours discussion), he told that we will hang out next week same day, which was yesterday. So yesterday I had to meet him for signing a document. He seemed to be busy making social media posts and wasn't really paying attention to me. I asked him 'didn't you tell me last week that we hang out today', he said 'no, I said next week'. I said 'no'. Anyway while leaving, he was like 'ok will talk to you soon, or may be hang out tomorrow'. I banged his car door and told him 'I don't trust you anymore'. I was smiling but he clearly understood that I got annoyed or I took it to the next level. Like I know I am not his girlfriend and I shouldn't have behaved like that. He gave a surprise smile and left. I also knew that he wouldn't make any plans, and he did not. My question here is, is he giving mixed signals? He wouldn't initiate a text. If I send a normal text, he some times reply, some times don't. When we meet he says stuff like - 'OK I will teach you car driving' when I say I want to learn driving. Or he says he wants to date a Virgo woman knowing my sun sign is Virgo. Or he says 'I should definitely watch this movie' when I said it is a big turn off to know that he hasn't watched this movie yet.. or he would say 'do I make spelling mistakes' when I said spelling mistakes annoy me etc.. He also talks stuff like, he is checking tinder to may be fool around.He asked me how his hair should be, for which I said 'I like long hair'. He said he generally keeps hair very short, but now he will grow it because girls like it. He also showed me a picture of what he wants to do in life, which he said he only has shown to his mom so far. I am totally confused. He knows that I am someone who is not looking for any casual stuff. Or may be I am just reading his signs wrong.

I must ask of what culture, or region you are in, so as to consider that into my answer. Your ages are also helpful, as well as the living arrangement you both have. Generally speaking though, when a date is that hard to get with a stranger, don't dwell so much on it, and definitely don't chase your desire. This is especially true with YOU, as a female. Just because you are looking for something beyond casual that doesn't mean he is not, and likely has many casual hook ups he would never tell you about.

You are not misreading his signal, just putting too much into his words for this stranger and are more hopeful that his interests in you is the same as yours for him. Either he is cautious, or otherwise occupied enough NOT to chase you, or even pursue dating with you. You can never be sure with a stranger, whether you like him or NOT! Obviously you do, and no doubt he knows that already.

Maybe some further input can change my first impression, but for now I tend to stick with his interest doesn't match yours, or approach a level for him to pursue YOU, or worse, even meet you half way to EXPLORE dating you. Maybe he is keeping things friendly, but professional, and you probably should do the same, and not get overly interested to see more than just the business relationship.

Maybe he is committed to mom more, and is not willing to change his schedule or social life, I do not know since I would have no clue what he is thinking, but a woman should always be careful and stay alert in these circumstances. Never assume strangers are sending signals at all is my advice. It could also be a simple as not mixing business with pleasure or great girls turn into psychos.

As a guy if you aren't willing to CASUALLY date and see what happens then that is a BIG RED FLAG for a guy who isn't ready for an INSTANT relationship. That is the impression I got from what you have written. What do you think?

Most real estate agents struggle financially, especially the first 3-5 years, many actually having a negative income (fees, etc). It's very possible that he cannot afford to take you out. It doesn't sound to me like he is being nice just because you are a client. In fact, he might be more likely to get closer after you buy your condo. He knows the dangers of mixing business with pleasure.

How is he supposed to know you were joking about a diamond ring? Saying you were joking might just be because you saw a look in his face. It was a very loaded question. Let it go, however.
If you two see each other enough times to get to talk of such things, why tiptoe around?

''he is looking for a stable and committed relation. Where I am not a very house wife type material'' does not gibe very well with ''He knows that I am someone who is not looking for any casual stuff.'' YOU need to do some serious talking with YOURSELF.

Be totally forthright. Say you like him. Say you will be broke after you buy your condo (to help him from having to say he might be broke), and wonder if he would like to walk and talk in a park sometime, or get an ice cream cone or coffee.
After two or three of those, ask him over for help hanging pictures or moving furniture, and have some food or order a pizza for his help.

There's a grey area between taking things slowly and cautiously vs. being coy. Try to avoid being coy.

Forgot to mention the ages here.. both are in their late 20s. He doesn't have any casual affair which I am sure of. He is the kind of a guy who is over with all the early 20's stuff and looking for a committed relation. I mean I am sure of this. However, I am not sure of how much he is interested in me. A couple of times I told him that we are totally opposite. He probably is not looking for a relationship right now. I am not looking for a relationship either. But dating doesn't hurt is what I thought.

Well, he is earning quite well and pretty financially stable. He has shared all those details with me. He talks about his dreams and goals. So, the financial aspect is not a question as far as I am aware of.

Now I see why you are strangely talking in the third person.
In April, you were a young man writing about a girlfriend who bosses you around.
What is going on here? Who is who?

Sorry, that was my friend. Not me. He created this account. I am just using this account to post a concern.

Ah ok - except you aren't supposed to use someone else's ID here, because old posts show in your history forever, and it's confusing.

Ohh OK. Sorry about that. I didn't know.