Hi All,

Im in a relationship with my girlfriend for past 1.5 years. Let me tell about my GF. She is a kind-hearted person and who speaks in same way to everyone(She won't categorize people). In this 1.5 years, she have never lied to me but things started to change now. She and I have a mutual friend who is a guy. Lets name him as J. She and J are close friends and J know that we are in love. We 3 were working in same office and went to few places outside. Now I have shifted my job to somewhere. So from here the things started to change. She is giving more time to J but not me. She use to talk/chat to him at late night for almost 3-4 hours. She did this many times and I told her not to do late night chats/calls. She agreed to that and she started again to do the same. One day I called her at midnight and her phone was busy. She picked my call and I asked "With whom you are speaking?". She told that she is speaking to her female friend. But I don't believe her because she lied to me once. So I asked her the screenshot of the call log. She ignored it first and then she sent it. Now she is feeling guilty for talking with J at late night for 3 hours. She is telling that, J is just a good friend for her and she is not having any bad thoughts. But she is keep on talking with J especially at late night for like 2 or 3 hours. But she is hesitating to speak with me for just 1 hour. Should I believe her or please advice me how should I take this.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/relationship-girlfriend-who-had-boyfriend-past-829073.html

Is this the same guy as in your previous post or is the coworker just a friend, and not an ex? Are you still a virgin my friend? Has it ever occurred to you that you should never try and control others and doing so may lead to lying, deceit, and mistrust? It will also make one resentful and destroys any bond or being madly in love as you put it.

To be really honest, after a year and a half, and you are this controlling and extremely insecure you should have already looked at that and made a few changes for yourself. Ask yourself if your actions are contributing mightily to her changing from the caring, honest female you started with, to the liar you say she has become. I think that is highly likely, and I refer you back to what was said to you on your previous question, especially this...


Time will tell if you both are madly in love or not and 5 months is not enough, nor can anyone but her say if she has moved on from the ex or not. Have enough self confidence in yourself to enjoy finding these answers yourself, without the drama and distraction of your own FEAR, and inexperience. Her past is TOTALLY irrelevant at this stage of the relationship so NEVER ask about it nor dwell on it.

More questions or feedback is very welcome...

You are clearly going backwards... tearing down instead of building, as the dating phase should be over and communicating and not dictating should be the rule of the day. That's why feedback is important here because we need to see where you are at, and from what you are writing it doesn't appear to be in a good place and no commitment for you to be better at this by learning and adjusting.

You have not grown because of this experience in love, dating, and relationships, and moving ahead is not looking good at all. She must care if she not only puts up with your CRAP, but stays with you, and maybe that's WHY she needs a friend to talk to about YOU. So are you still a virgin? WHY?

Await your input and clarity.