PDA

View Full Version : Need boy advice. What do I do? How do I deal with all this


pseudonymous
Sep 8, 2017, 07:43 PM
I am a high-school student having problems with her crush. Cringe.

I like this guy (lets call him 'A'). A few months ago he used to like me but I didn't return the feelings as I liked someone else (guy 'B'). When I eventually got over B, because he was a total idiot, I started getting feelings for A. Obviously I did what teen girls do and texted my friends all about it, which eventually opened an opportunity to text A himself. We texted a little, talking about school and whatnot but it ended after a while then we never texted again.

We used to talk in real life, but now that we both know my feelings for him its gotten awkward. I can't find the courage to speak to him. I'm confused with him because a week ago he acted as if he returned the feelings, but now I feel as if he's avoiding me. While walking to another class he walked right beside me but then quickly sped up so he wasn't anymore. My friends always say he looks at me during classes but he just never talks to me, which is frustrating because I don't know what to do.

Some of my friends are good friends with A. One night a group of them had dinner because they all live in the same street, and my best friend went to ask A about me. She said he acted nervous and suddenly said he had to go home.

I would say maybe he is just nervous to talk to me, but he doesn't seem like that kind of person. A week ago he initiated the conversation on text but now we haven't texted since. And also, back when I had feelings for B, A still tried talking to me and asking me out. I just don't understand because now that he knows my feelings for him its going completely nowhere.

I have a sinking feeling that something is wrong. I don't think I did anything wrong, I'm a good person is what I like to think. I've never had a relationship because every guy has screwed me over, and I always get hurt. For some odd reason compared to the other guys, A is affecting me much more. Its not like he's said anything, he's the nicest guy in school and I can't imagine him being a like the others. I know I sound like a silly little girl but this is exactly how I feel.

Thanks for reading, I just need some advice on what to do and how to deal with everything because its screwing with my head. Thanks :)

talaniman
Sep 8, 2017, 09:36 PM
I think you would do better keeping your friends out of your romance business by telling them less about this guy. Some guys just don't like that kind of thing. It is a more grade school than high school kind of thing anyway. Your friends especially a best friend may mean well trying to help out, but obviously he doesn't deal with that kind of thing well.

Just like you initiated a text before, initiate a private conversation (Or text) and MAYBE straighten that out, and get back to talking at least.

joypulv
Sep 9, 2017, 01:07 PM
''I have a sinking feeling that something is wrong.''

Yes, I would say so. You rejected him when he showed he was interested in you! He's still hurt, and cautious, and worried that you will do it again.
Just because B turned out to be an idiot doesn't mean this one, A, won't too.
'I just don't understand'
'now that he knows my feelings for him its going completely nowhere.'
'I don't think I did anything wrong'
GOOD GRIEF!! Sigh - oh well, I have to keep reminding myself that teens are not mean, just remarkably obtuse.

Figure out a way to apologize for the way you either ignored or mistreated him.
And grow a little maturity, a little more thoughtfulness for about how people other than you are feeling.
Try to drop the 'I've been burned' bit. We all get burned, but really, we all allow ourselves to be burned.
The biggest single thing you will learn about life is that people don't 'do' things to us. We do them to ourselves.

I think he realizes this but is still hurt anyway, because he's a teen too, and it takes a lifetime to learn that we are the ones who allow it.
He may be telling himself that he should avoid you because of all that.
So an apology isn't all of it. You need to see why you didn't 'see' how he was hurt, and what it meant.