To whom it may concern, I am a 38-year-old female, that has no children, never been married. For the last 2 1/2 years I have been dating a wonderful man who I feel is like a best friend as well as a Romantic partner. Prior to meeting this guy I was very independent, very secure with myself being single, and usually did not want to adjust my life in order to be in a relationship. But then he came along, and changed the way I thought about my freedom and my relationship status. We move slowly, eventually moved in with each other after about a year and a half. That is going very well. The only problems we ever have are in regards to his sons mother. His son is five years old, I have known him since he has been three years old. The mother seems to be very unstable, has not worked a full time since I've known her and from what it sounds like since he's known her. When he lived with them he's the one that made all the money and had to pay all the bills, plus she has three other children from different men. After 2 1/2 years, there are still very concerning things that this woman does. Just tried to move his son out of State ones, after moving for 2 1/2 weeks she returned, it was a failed effort. Luckily we were able to convince her to leave him with us until she gets herself straightened out when she moved out of town. As that occurred we decided to go to the courts to get writes a Stabley S-t for dad so that his child's mother cannot take his child out of state, because her next idea was to move the child to Jamaica, which is where my fiancé is from. To what I have to years later and after all of the drama this woman still continues to call on regular basis, I mean every day 67 times a day she texts, and calls. Have shown some irritability in regards to this, but my fiancé says that it is his sons mother, he has to talk to her. I myself work in psychology and I know the importance of parents having a good relationship for the sake of their child, but this appears to be obsessive. She has attempted many times to try and get their relationship started again and he has had to respectfully tell her that he is in a relationship. I don't think she has the capacity to understand that it's over. The frustrating thing for me is that I honestly don't know what almost all the text messages and phone conversations are about because he does get rather secretive about them. He won't just say oh my son just lost his tooth here's a picture or whatever else it is that they have been discussing back-and-forth all day every day. I have been around many people who are coparenting including my own parents when I was a child, and I don't know anybody has to speak to a child's parents on a daily basis unless there is some serious emergency medical issues going on, which this is not the case. How should I handle this without sounding like I am nuts or being controlling, but it is really eating at me.

It's not you but the nut of a baby mama he has to deal with. As a professional you also know that the people who have nuts such as this in their lives suffer and get nutty also. Stop worrying about her, and what she is doing, and instead focus on you, and what you are doing, and let your partner handle his business. In short stay out of it completely, unless he asks you for help.

I feel that's the advice you would give to others in a similar situation, so why is it so hard for you to follow that advice yourself? He is likely secretive because he knows his baby mama's actions irritate, and upset you. Help him out by ignoring the antics of this NUT case, and stop applying logic and common sense to her. Stop comparing her to what decent normal people would do, because she has none of those traits, and you cannot change, or control another, especially not a NUT!