anon03881
Jul 4, 2017, 09:26 AM
I [23F] have been dating my boyfriend [26M] for around 1 year now. He is very nice to me. However, as I slowly got to know him more, I've realized that he is very stubborn and naïve, and trusts people too much. He believes everyone is a good person, and won't hurt or take advantage of him.
For example:
1. My boyfriend constantly leaves money exposed in his car. When I tell him to put the money away or hide it, he says that no one would break into his car to steal a few bucks. I always have to be the one that puts his money away.
2. Around 1 year ago, my boyfriend wanted to rent a place for school. He only looked at one place to rent. That was the place my boyfriend then rented. And lo and behold, my boyfriend ran into a lot of problems with the landlord (e.g. the landlord would eavesdrop on when my boyfriend used water, electricity, be home, etc.).
3. When my boyfriend uses credit card machines, or the ATM, he never covers his password. He believes people are trusting and won't try to steal his password and other credit card info. I told him countries times to cover his password. He often says "yea, yea, yea" and then doesn't cover his password the next time he uses a credit card machine, or the ATM; or he tells me to "stop being so paranoid, and untrusting of people".
4. My boyfriend was having trouble finding an engineering job. So, my bf's parents told him to meet up with an acquaintance (around his 50s) of theirs, whom might be able to help out my boyfriend.
Turns out the acquaintance guy was in a different engineering field. So, he could not help out with finding my boyfriend an engineering job. However, my boyfriend had told me that the acquaintance guy asked my boyfriend to sell some paintings (the guy owns a art gallery on the side).
I asked what was in it for my boyfriend, my boyfriend said that acquaintance guy would get 100% of the profit. But, my boyfriend told me that selling the paintings would give him "selling" experience. I didn't think it was a good idea, and my boyfriend told me that I was pessimistic and so negative.
5. The same acquaintance guy is going to leave the country for 3 months. He asked my boyfriend to care for his 16-year-old daughter for that 3 months. Before my boyfriend had told me about it, my boyfriend had already agreed and said that he could care for that teenager. I asked my boyfriend what exactly does he need to do, my boyfriend said he didn't know. My boyfriend didn't ask that acquaintance guy if he's responsible for cooking, waking up the teenager, driving her to wherever/whenever she wants to go to, etc. And my boyfriend needs to live with that teenager (the place is in a different city far from where my boyfriend works).
My boyfriend finally asked yesterday what the acquaintance guy meant by "caring for his 16-year-old daughter". And yes, it is cooking, waking up the teenager, driving her to wherever/whenever she wants to go to, etc. Now, my boyfriend went to me complaining about this situation he's in. I told my boyfriend to tell the acquaintance guy that he can't care for his daughter anymore. But, my boyfriend said "I need to keep my word".
So, my questions are:
Will my bf's stubbornness and naivety improve over time? Or, are stubbornness and naivety character traits that won't change?
What should I do, I like my boyfriend, but my bf's stubbornness and naivety are irritating me. Especially when I tell him something, and he doesn't listen and says I'm untrusting of people, and then finds out that I was right and apologizes (happens often).
For example:
1. My boyfriend constantly leaves money exposed in his car. When I tell him to put the money away or hide it, he says that no one would break into his car to steal a few bucks. I always have to be the one that puts his money away.
2. Around 1 year ago, my boyfriend wanted to rent a place for school. He only looked at one place to rent. That was the place my boyfriend then rented. And lo and behold, my boyfriend ran into a lot of problems with the landlord (e.g. the landlord would eavesdrop on when my boyfriend used water, electricity, be home, etc.).
3. When my boyfriend uses credit card machines, or the ATM, he never covers his password. He believes people are trusting and won't try to steal his password and other credit card info. I told him countries times to cover his password. He often says "yea, yea, yea" and then doesn't cover his password the next time he uses a credit card machine, or the ATM; or he tells me to "stop being so paranoid, and untrusting of people".
4. My boyfriend was having trouble finding an engineering job. So, my bf's parents told him to meet up with an acquaintance (around his 50s) of theirs, whom might be able to help out my boyfriend.
Turns out the acquaintance guy was in a different engineering field. So, he could not help out with finding my boyfriend an engineering job. However, my boyfriend had told me that the acquaintance guy asked my boyfriend to sell some paintings (the guy owns a art gallery on the side).
I asked what was in it for my boyfriend, my boyfriend said that acquaintance guy would get 100% of the profit. But, my boyfriend told me that selling the paintings would give him "selling" experience. I didn't think it was a good idea, and my boyfriend told me that I was pessimistic and so negative.
5. The same acquaintance guy is going to leave the country for 3 months. He asked my boyfriend to care for his 16-year-old daughter for that 3 months. Before my boyfriend had told me about it, my boyfriend had already agreed and said that he could care for that teenager. I asked my boyfriend what exactly does he need to do, my boyfriend said he didn't know. My boyfriend didn't ask that acquaintance guy if he's responsible for cooking, waking up the teenager, driving her to wherever/whenever she wants to go to, etc. And my boyfriend needs to live with that teenager (the place is in a different city far from where my boyfriend works).
My boyfriend finally asked yesterday what the acquaintance guy meant by "caring for his 16-year-old daughter". And yes, it is cooking, waking up the teenager, driving her to wherever/whenever she wants to go to, etc. Now, my boyfriend went to me complaining about this situation he's in. I told my boyfriend to tell the acquaintance guy that he can't care for his daughter anymore. But, my boyfriend said "I need to keep my word".
So, my questions are:
Will my bf's stubbornness and naivety improve over time? Or, are stubbornness and naivety character traits that won't change?
What should I do, I like my boyfriend, but my bf's stubbornness and naivety are irritating me. Especially when I tell him something, and he doesn't listen and says I'm untrusting of people, and then finds out that I was right and apologizes (happens often).