My daughter is 6 years old, I have been separated (never married) from her father for over three years now. I am now married to a man in the military who is stationed in Missouri. I currently live in Florida with my daughter and would like to relocate with her, to be with my husband and to give my daughter a more stable home and life. I would like to know about the chances I have in winning my case in court. We are currently going through the court process and it is becoming unbearable and I am losing hope. Can someone help me?? :confused:

Is your ex asking for custody or are you just going through child support kind of case?
If you have custody - you can pretty much go where you want.
You would have to inform the court that you are moving. I don't think your ex could stop you.

You can move. I have checked with an attorney to see if I could leave the state with my child. I was told what I told the person in this post.

Like I said, you have to inform the court that you are moving. If the other party has a problem with that then they can file a motion to have the person blocked from moving. But, as I was told, it would be hard to have that accomplished.
It would also depend on what it states in the custody papers.
But to say that absouletly you can not leave the state, ever - that isn't correct.

No you can't just move away. It's not that easy. In most states leaving the state with the child is not going to happen, unless he agrees to it. He has rights as a father and your child has rights, being a thousand miles away is not conducive to visitation.However some do work it out, but this would mean your child flying, possibly alone and you would have to pay for the tickets.


No disrespect, but I was hoping to get an answer from someone who might know the laws, and obviously you don't know much about them. In the state of Florida I do have the right as her custodial parent (being that her father and I were never married makes me that) to take her where ever I want to without permission from him or the state. My delema is this: my intention is not to take our daughter away from him, it is to give her a life that we have not been able to give her here. With my husband being so far away it has made things very hard for me and my daughter, financially mostly and that has a lot to do with the fact that he does not pay and has not paid in the last three years, child support.

First, let try to clarify things here. When we give advice we usually have scant info to go on and have to talk in generalities.

Whether the custodial parent can move significantly far away from the other parent depends on a number of factors. Most important is whether there is a visitation order in place. Second is whether the other parent has joint custody. Other factors may also be taken into account by the court in determining whether the move will be allowed.

To NowWhat, you initial answer was too simplistic and did not give a true picture of the legal facts. Also Matt never said absoutely that they couldn't.

To Matt,
There probably are situations where the move can be very easy, but I think your answers are closer to the legal reality.

To Mksbbygrl05,
With additional info that you provided there may be extenuating circumstances. The fact that you were never married to the father has a bearing here. But, as you are finding out, you don't have the right to just up and move as long as he is acknolwedged as the father. As the father he has parental rights. So, he CAN fight a move if he chooses to. However, if he has never asked for or used his visitation rights and hasn't paid child support, that weakens his case. On the other hand, if he has supported the child and been a part of her life, then it will be harder for you to just take her away.

No one can predict what a court will do, but the law does give the father rights.

I can understand your wanting to give your daughter a relationship with the father. But you can't force him to be a father. You do have to think of providing a better life for your daughter. And being with your husband would seem to be the best choice.

"Well then why did you post this question if you know the answer. You are a typical woman who treats her child as is it is property and the father must pay a rental fee to see his own kid. Support has nothing to do with visitation. "

Wow, Matt3046, that is a pretty harsh statement. Sounding a little bitter.

Does it make me a bad person to do what I am doing? I think about that alot. Whether she will hate me or hold a grudge for me taking her away. But its hard here for me, financially and mentally. I try to give her what she needs and always manage on doing that, but still I wish things could be easier and I know they could be with better support, like being with my husband. Do you think that him being in the military could hurt my case...since he has to move around and stuff?

First, please do not ask questions via PMs. If you have a follow-up please use the Quick Reply at the bottom of the thread.

To answer the above question, no I don't think you are bad at all. IF he had been an active father that would make a difference. But you do have to consider your new family first.

The state of Florida does have a law that you to send a Notice of Intent To Move to the father, no the court. You must state why you are moving, where you are moving, proposed visitation arrangement and transportation arrangements. It must also state that he has 30 days to contest the proposal. The rest is up to him if he desires to fight it.

Yes, merely physcially having the child is only part, what is important is what court orders are in place, if there are not child custody agreements in place, and child support orders in place, all that should be done.

The bio father has rights, he may not have ever filed for them, but as the bio father he has legal rights that he may go to court to inforce if he wants to.

If he is not currently visiting, and does not want to, it should be easy, but if he wants to visit ( but has not been able to) or has been visiting, you will have to show the court how he can still have contact with the child. Including helping with the costs of the transportatoin of the cihld back often. But the court does not have to let you move if the father of the child objects, it is not automatically, and if you read enough posts here you will see posts where parents have been ordered to move back because they left without courts permission.

The state of Florida does have a law that you to send a Notice of Intent To Move to the father, no the court. You must state why you are moving, where you are moving, proposed visitation arrangement and transportation arrangements. It must also state that he has 30 days to contest the proposal. The rest is up to him if he desires to fight it.

Yes, I have done that. My attorney just got the notice of delivery back. We filed a motion to relocate. So now he has thirty days. He does have an attorney also and I know he is going to contest the relocation, I have even tried to talk to him about it outside of the lawyers just to explain to him why I want this so bad, but he will not give in. What I am worried about is the outcome. I have obviously never gone through this and also don't know anyone who has, or even heard about such a case. What are my chances, what is a good reason, verses a bad one for wanting to relocate?

yes, merely physcially having the child is only part, what is important is what court orders are in place, if there are not child custody agreements in place, and child support orders in place, all that should be done.

The bio father has rights, he may not have ever filed for them, but as the bio father he has legal rights that he may go to court to inforce if he wants to.

If he is not currently visiting, and does not want to, it should be easy, but if he wants to visit ( but has not been able to) or has been visiting, you will have to show the court how he can still have contact with the child. Including helping with the costs of the transportatoin of the cihld back often. But the court does not have to let you move if the father of the child objects, it is not automaticly, and if you read enough posts here you will see posts where parents have been ordered to move back because they left without courts permission.

A lot of people told me in the beginning, to just leave. But I wanted to do this the right way. He does see her, I have never stopped that. She loves her dad and he loves her. But just his love isn't helping to support her and that is the main reason of my asking to relocate. Like I told him, he has the right to fight it just as much as I have the right to ask for it. I know it will be a hard adjustment for all of us, but I will never take her away from him, I just want to move away. I actually tried to talk to him and I told him I will let him have her as much as he wants except for during school. But summers and vacations, any of that I would let her come back. And I agreed to pay half of everything. I though I was being very reasonable. But he still wouldn't go for it. I just want us all to be happy, and she can't be happy if I am always sad because things are so hard, and I just want to wake up one day and be happy for once, not feel like I am all alone and like everything is bad. I want to be with my family, my husband and my daughter and have a normal, stable life. My daughter is my everything... but I miss my husband and I want to be with him and be happy and be able to give her what she needs without being by myself and struggling. Not just financially, but because its hard to have her by myself everyday.

Yes, the judge may well rule against you. It is very likely unless you can provide either longer summer visits, and be willing to pay for the transportation.
But if the father appears in court and says that he will lose almost all of his rights to visit on any regular basis. Most courts will go with the father if the father has any history of visits in the past.

I am no lawyer - but with the lack of child support you have received and the fact that nothing has been put in writing for so long about visitation. Yet, he does get to see her. I would be really surprised if this didn't go your way.
And, states have out-of-state visitation guidelines for a reason. And according to Ohio's out of state guidelines - he would have to pay 100% of the travel costs. He would be able to see her one weekend a month with a 7 day notice and then there are spring break to split and then holidays. And then 6 weeks in the summer. Again - he is responsible for the travel costs (if you go with standard visitation and you lived in Ohio)
I really can't wrap my brain around a judge making you stay and not be able to have a life with your husband. That would be like handing down a prison sentence.

What is the opinion of your attorney? I would make sure that I had a great visitation plan and a great transportation plan ready to present to the courts. How often does he see her now? I would MAKE SURE you show that you have the child in the best interest. Make sure you appear to be trying to maintain the relationship between your child and the father. In your original question you seem to have a fairly valid reason to move. Was your husband already stationed in Missouri when you were married or was he in Florida. Hopefully he was in Florida. In that case, you can present the case based on his transfer to Florida and being able to maintain the family unit. How is the relationship between your husband and your daughter. How long have you been married. Make sure the judge has no reason to feel that you are trying to make this move out of spite or to weaken the relationship. If your ex has been faithful in visiting and paying child support, you will definitely want ot make sure there is a great plan ready to be acted on in order to maintain their relationship. Let the judge see that you are trying to be graceful with the whole matter. I am sure you may have to agree to things more than the typical long distance parenting plans. You may have to agree to more than lengthened summers. Look at other opportunities you could get them together. Will both of you have high speed internet that they could video conference on as well. You just never know how technically inclined the judge might be. Make sure you appear to be going overboard on the effort. As the old saying says, leave no stone unturned. This is a great chance to be a great person and come out on top.