I have a 14 year old daughter. I live in Virginia and she is in Arkansas with her dad. I just spent thousands of dollars because my daughter has begged me to get her back. I had a lawyer and also my daughter had an attorney ad litem. I was in court in Arkansas all day December 3rd for the hearing and somehow everything got twisted and my ex-husband was allowed to retain custody. I am lost and do not know where to go from here. The attorney ad litem, although said she had no position on where the child should live, followed that with telling the judge that if he decided to leave her there in Arkansas that my child would need IMMEDIATE psychological care. There obviously is a lot more to this, but I believe I had a full case against the father showing neglect of my daughter and yet it seems the judge heard none of it and now my daughter is devastated and is crying herself to sleep every night. She is extremely depressed and I am very concerned. Can anyone help my daughter and I?? Arkansas law will not allow me to get this case retried with a different judge, not that I can afford it and they apparently do not allow the child to choose where they want to live. This has been a long ongoing battle. I understand that the child suffers when parents are fighting over them, but I am not fighting over her, I am fighting for her. She wants to be with me because her dad is never home and she is with a stepmother who won't even talk to her. Also, she misses her brothers who are here. I am not an unfit parent. The only reason she is there is because when she was 9, she begged to go live with her dad because she missed him so much. I felt that she should have that opportunity and he agreed that if it didn't work out and she wanted to come home, that she could. Instead, he went behind my back and got custody because she was residing there. I am lost and so is my daughter. I don't know what else I can do. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

June

Hi, June,
This is so sad, but it can possibly be worked out.
I went through the same thing, but not with so much distance between courts.
Since he lives in Arkansas, the court there will have to make the decision; you probably can't get him in court in VA.
If it's cost feasible, I would get another lawyer, a different one; in Arkansas.
Have the case set to be heard again, with the same judge. Things get so twisted in court, if it's not the right lawyer. This lawyer did NOT stick with what you wanted to do!
As far a your ex-husband telling you she could come back and live with you, is just a plain lie on his part... if you didn't have it in writing, you already know there is nothing you can do about that.
I wish you the very best of luck, and if you stick with it with a good lawyer, you have a very good chance. Talk with a lawyer (a different one) and get his/her opinion on all of this.
fredg

The problem is not finding or affording a new attorney, I would sacrifice anything for this. The problem is that Arkansas law is all backwards. I cannot get this case back into court unless the father has a "substantial change in circumstances in his living conditions". This creates a large problem, because I can't think of any other ways to fight for my daughter's best interests. I have been trying to teach her to make the best of a less than great situation, but the knowledge that I have bothers me on a daily basis. I don't let her know that. I appreciate your advice and if you or anyone else knows of some Arkansas law that could help me in this situation to try to get my daughter back home where she belongs it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time in advance.

June

Simple let her come and see you for the summer vacation negotiate did I spell that right anyway try it