Am I legally allowed to look for my over 18 yr old brother , even though my mum doesn't want too.. How do I go about this.. I am 30 and in UK

He IS your brother isn't he? But yet again your don't want to disobey your mother. But have you thought of the down falls to finding him? What if your mother doesn't want you looking for him bcasue she knows soemthing you don't, maybe he's abusive, or a drug addict, what if he's in jail, you wouldn't want yourself getting hurt. So I'm just wondering if you've looked at both sides of this story.

Have you ever heard of the phrase "Curiousity killed the Cat". I think that if you are so wanting to see your brother, why not. Your mom might have her reasons as to why she doesn't want you to seek out your brother, but you have a right to see him too. Honestly, if you have an opportunity to be close to your brother, do so. My family lives 3 states away from me and I haven't seen my sisters in 3yrs since I moved, I have nieces and nephews I haven't met. I would suggest that you seek your brother out and if the turn out of it all isn't what you expected, then you at least know that you tried. My best wishes to you. :)

If you find him, can you have a relationship with him without wanting to share that with your mom? You're an adult. You can make your own choices. If your mom didn't have choices when she gave him up, she's making one now. And you should respect her choice to not pursue this. What if he asks about other relatives? Are you alone in this pursuit or are there other family members that share your interest in finding him? Can you keep information about your mom confidential? Because not only should you respect your moms choice, but you'll need to try and protect that as well... and you may not succeed. Your not selfish for wanting to know your own blood... and your not alone either. My feelings are that your life is forever changed right now... already. No matter what you choose to do. If mom is trying to protect you from something or someone and that's the reason she doesn't want to do this, then why hasn't she said what that is? Being your both adults. I believe in the domino theory. What one person does affects everyone down the line. Weather that's in a good way, or bad way. Maybe you should be asking a few more questions to your mom. And if they don't get answered, then make her aware of what your decision is going to be. I believe she should respect your choice from there. Good luck

I was told let the past be the past by my mother I am 40 and I will search for my brother till I find him good luck and best wishes

Id put some serious thought in to this you would probably have to get a lawyer to help you and I would talk with some people that have done this first and find out the risks it just may be not worth itt...




Good luckkkk

You have every right to look for your brother. I'm not sure how you would go about it in UK
I found my mom and 6 sibs in 2001 3 older sibs and 2 younger. Found my dad in July of this year. I was the only one placed for adoption. Is my reunion perfect? Nope. Only 2 of my older sibs will even acknowledge I exist. But I would do it again. I chose not to include my apars in my search. It wasn't about them. Good or bad knowing made all the difference to me.
Adoption, Search & Reunion (http://www.adoptionsearchreunion.org.uk)
Adoption Reuinion (http://www.adoptionreunion.co.uk)

Yes, I do not believe there is any legal way your mom can stop you. However I have to agree... she must know something you don't and could be trying to protect you...
My husband just recently met his father after 27 years of him being out of his life. His mom told one story, he told another. We thought it would be great, finally having him in our lives, but he never calls and barely emails. My husband won't admit it, but it hurts him A LOT... We should've just left well enough alone.
I would try to discuss it with your mom, maybe get some info about the reason she doesn't want you finding him? Maybe it will clue you into what went on and what she's trying to protect you from.
Best of luck,

The OP hasn't been on the site in four years.

I am pretty sure she's not going to come back now for answers.

Id put some serious thought in to this you would probably have to get a lawyer to help you and i would talk with some people that have done this first and find out the risks it just may be not worth itt...




Good luckkkk

I was in the uk in April I got into a heated agrument started by my sister of course my mom said she did the best she could with the 3 of us I said what about john she cried but didn't say anything I know he or she is out there I know if it was a girl she would have been called michelle that's what name I was supposed to be but she insists that he was a boy lived for 6 hours and died dad only seen him her and he took this to his grave at 49 my brother ian is interested in this but my younger sis says no I said my inheritance will go to john or her to search more , I think he would be like me outgoing I have been in canada for 20 years now and don't miss home thank for the advice yours sincerely diane guy- hunter

My brother is going to be 30 and I just found him and he doesn't even know he's adopted I want to tell him but don't have any good way to tell him because my own mother doesn't want anything to do with him I used to play at his adoptive mom and dads house with him he was my best friend and I found out when I was 13 way after they moved I don't want him to hate me because I'm his sister my mom gave me up to my grandparents my mom also gave my sister up for adoption too. And kepted the youngest two. And unfortunely I have to see the Carnage everyday.