View Full Version : Thinking with the WRONG head?
curiousgeorge07
Sep 15, 2016, 08:06 PM
I have been dating my current girlfriend for four months now. The first month her attitude was perfect. She was everything she said she was. We enjoyed each other's company and were good to each other. After a month or so, she said she wasn't happy and wanted to start going out together more. We did, but she would always find something to complain about. We would usually go out shopping on weekends. I'd cook for her and rub her feet while we watched movies.
I would buy her stuff and she would surprise me with stuff... BUT a few weeks after she would surprise me with a gift, she would complain that she's spending all of her money on me and that I ask her to buy me things. I never did. How can I ask her to buy me things if she surprises me with them?
For the past two months she makes mountains out of mull hills, says very immature and hurtful things. Last week she called me a "Piece of S**t" over a silly argument. She says I'm too close with my family and its weird that I hug and kiss my mom. She also said from the beginning that she doesn't like talking about our jobs. Which is weird to me because we are both in our late 20's and I feel talking about that kind of stuff is healthy.
Anyway, She's a beautiful girl, short and petite, great figure, beautiful face and just crazy in bed. She's dirty and just the perfect kind of girl you would want in bed. I'm getting to the point where I feel all that isn't worth putting up with all her problems and attitude. She can't communicate well at all. She gets cocky and very rude. My younger brother has a mental disability and I am very close with him. My girlfriend and him get along well, but last night she told me he's weird and "not right". That really hurt. Sometimes I stay with my family to help my mom out and spend time with them. My room hasn't changed since I left and she makes fun of it when she comes over.
I'll be honest with myself and everyone here, I know if it wasn't for the sex, I would end things in a heartbeat. Why is it so hard to let her go? The past 2 months I can't go two days without her over reacting. I was grilling lunch outside a few days ago in 95 degree weather. I had a hat and sunglasses on. She complained that I'm afraid of the outdoors and afraid to be one with the earth? Just because I wore a hat and sunglasses to keep the sun and heat off me.
Advice please.
teacherjenn4
Sep 15, 2016, 09:00 PM
Sounds like you're not thinking clearly. You have way too many problems for such a new relationship. If you weren't having a sexual relationship with her, would you be with her? Can you imagine if she gets pregnant and you're stuck with each other for the rest of your life? Is this the future you want?
tickle
Sep 16, 2016, 05:38 AM
Being called names would be a deal breaker for me. No one in a healthy relationship does that. As for her changing her opinion about your brother, what is up with that? No, red flags are adding up and her being great in bed is not good to base this on. Sounds like she is getting tired of you and starting to pick. Too much drama starting up.
Oliver2011
Sep 16, 2016, 06:21 AM
This is your decision to make. You either keep the sex and put up with everything else or MOVE THE HECK ON. I am not completely sure if you can tell which one I would do. J
Her behaviors are old and wearing on you now. Eventually the sex will become mundane and you will be left bitter. Sharing love and your bodies should always be a compliment to a great relationship. If you think about it clearly, it should never be a reason to hang on to someone. If I didn’t have an incredible relationship with my partner, I would never share my body with my partner. But that’s just me. And honestly man, set your sights higher when it comes to someone you want to be in a relationship with. Remember during the first 3 to 6 months of starting to date someone, we are all actors. When the honeymoon period is over and we starting seeing the real person, then the relationship becomes work.
talaniman
Sep 16, 2016, 07:35 AM
Relax guy, you are lowly learning more about this female besides her body and aren't liking it. That usually means the thrill ride and good stuff will soon be over. I think you know this but until the lust fades completely you are stuck in it. Confusing? Shouldn't be because obviously you have tried to build a great relationship on great sex and that seldom works.
I know hard to give up great sex while it's still GREAT, but if you stay out of her bed, your brain will eventually clear and you can run away faster because if you think its bad after just a few months, then you will really wonder how you could have gotten in this mess by listening to your little head.
Reread what you wrote because basically you have answered your own question, and if you cannot cut ties completely you may end up tied to her longer than what you want to be as another has said. Trust an older guy who has been there done that when he tells you to stop having sex with this female.
Fact is your BRAIN is already warning you that this dating relationship only works in the bedroom after JUST a few months, and reality outside the bedroom is going down hill fast. So it's up to YOU which head to listen too, and which one to ignore.
Choose wisely because your future depends on it! Don't think with your little head my young friend, because that's a disaster waiting to happen because ALL the little head cares about is GREAT sex.
What do YOU care about?
Thinking with the WRONG head?
You cannot think with the head that has no brain no matter how good it makes you feel! You can learn your lesson the hard way, or MY way......time to RUN!!!
CravenMorhead
Sep 16, 2016, 07:54 AM
I have been dating my current girlfriend for four months now. The first month her attitude was perfect. She was everything she said she was. We enjoyed each other's company and were good to each other. After a month or so, she said she wasn't happy and wanted to start going out together more. We did, but she would always find something to complain about. We would usually go out shopping on weekends. I'd cook for her and rub her feet while we watched movies.
I would buy her stuff and she would surprise me with stuff... BUT a few weeks after she would surprise me with a gift, she would complain that she's spending all of her money on me and that I ask her to buy me things. I never did. How can I ask her to buy me things if she surprises me with them?
For the past two months she makes mountains out of mull hills, says very immature and hurtful things. Last week she called me a "Piece of S**t" over a silly argument. She says I'm too close with my family and its weird that I hug and kiss my mom. She also said from the beginning that she doesn't like talking about our jobs. Which is weird to me because we are both in our late 20's and I feel talking about that kind of stuff is healthy.
Anyway, She's a beautiful girl, short and petite, great figure, beautiful face and just crazy in bed. She's dirty and just the perfect kind of girl you would want in bed. I'm getting to the point where I feel all that isn't worth putting up with all her problems and attitude. She can't communicate well at all. She gets cocky and very rude. My younger brother has a mental disability and I am very close with him. My girlfriend and him get along well, but last night she told me he's weird and "not right". That really hurt. Sometimes I stay with my family to help my mom out and spend time with them. My room hasn't changed since I left and she makes fun of it when she comes over.
I'll be honest with myself and everyone here, I know if it wasn't for the sex, I would end things in a heartbeat. Why is it so hard to let her go? The past 2 months I can't go two days without her over reacting. I was grilling lunch outside a few days ago in 95 degree weather. I had a hat and sunglasses on. She complained that I'm afraid of the outdoors and afraid to be one with the earth? Just because I wore a hat and sunglasses to keep the sun and heat off me.
Advice please.
Hi,
The easy and succinct advice is: Leave her. The sex will change, and then all the rest of the relationship stuff will fall apart. The thing is that you KNOW that you're only staying for the sex.
A good and healthy relationship has many foundations. Communication, intimacy, shared interest, compatibility, and love. When anyone of those are missing or not strong the relationship will be rocky and might fail. Right now you have one solid foundation, intimacy. It isn't enough. The weird thing is that usually I see relationships with a solid base except for intimacy. Intimacy is usually the only that people will ignore until something drastic happens. I diverge. You don't have enough for a healthy relationship and you know it. Especially after only 4 months.
So why do you have such a hard time letting go? Because you believe that if you and her, but mostly you, work at it hard enough you will be able to work things out and have the relationship that you had when you first started dating. You're chasing your first high. Leaving her would feel like you're giving up on something that could be good. It will probably never get better.
Leave her.