I met my ex 3 1/2 years ago and for the first four months before we hooked up I had to put inalot of work and act like I wasn't to interested and just kept it pretty cool. She ad plenty of guys at her workplace chasing her and she waswith one of thenm no sex though. Anyway after a while I did finally kiss her one night when we were out and then in all my atempts toget her to come over she kept aying no but then she messaged me saying she ad finished her exams andwanted to have a celebratory drink and was I free... She came over and stayed that night and it wa so good we went for it all night. She was nearly 19 I was 24. Anyway we continued to see each other and mainly I had to message her although she did message but always wrotestuff like ifyour not busy you want to catch up. I realisenowthats cause she thougt I was probably to busy for her. Anyway we were going along OK and just having action although she said she wouldn't normally just be sleeping woth me if we wernt toether so I asked er if she wanted to e going out and she said No. I was surprisedbut I thought or well we will ust see what happens she might come around. Anyway we kept spending time together and haing fun so that was all good. A few months went byeand I wouldalwaysgo over to herplacelate and have sex andit was so good se was always keen she even asked me if she was giving me enough action. Then I stated to feel a bit funycause se said she doent chase guys and I always seemed to be te one who was messaging her so I said at her place cause she was going home for a week well if I didn't message you then you would be upset and she said I wouldn't really care so I sad well won't if that's how you think of it. She went home for a week and I ddnt message her andshe didn't message er she isvery strong and does not give in very often. Ayhow she came back a the end of te week and se messaged me to see what I was doing and ishe said do you want to come over, since she adnyt messaged me for a week while I wasaway I said no I'm busy. She said OK then and I went. I then messaged later once I was home from dinner and said I'm free now if you still want to catch p she rang and said well her frien is coming over and some guys are to from where we work well we worked at a pub so they were patrons. Anyway I said well don't worry about it ten if you arelike that. Anyway the next day she came to work and she said don't believe what anyone says they just came over and that was it she said I did want you too come. Anyway I said I'm not interested in people like that so the end of my shift came and these guys were there and they had told her friend that they wereall going to be going out but you wouldn't believe she came over to me and said tey are all going out but I wan to come over to your place.
And se did and when she came over she said I'm sorry about last night but I realised I could have ad him if I wanted him but I didn't becase I like you. This just went to show me that if a girl does like you it doent matter which guys are chassing her if you just stay cool and stick p for yourself then she will like that they don't like the guys wo are just trying to jump in. Anyway our relationsip kind of started from thereand hen we saw much more of each other and we spent more nights together but I still kept my texting to a limit and waited for her to text me to come over so I would no that she was keen to see me. This all worked great and she wasso keen to see meall te time we had action eery time and she wasso excited it was great.

Now eres the bad part as time went on I started to forget about all the letting her chase me for a bit and I asked my mate how long does all this which I thought was a bit like ames haveto go on for and e said its not games it goes for your whole relationship to keep thespark alive.. I just didn't want to have to like not always respond to texts straight away at night and maybe not always answer if I was in bed and it was late or I was sleeping. But after 3 years I wanted to always e there to answer and se said I what your voice tobe the last thing I hear before I fall asleep. This all soundedso good and I let my guard down if I ever misseder call I would call her at night an if se eer sent me a good night message iwould reply and then we started to spend more nights have dinner together and I found myself giving up times with my mates so she could come to my plac cause I started to think like imgine she was with someone elase they would want to see her allthe time. I now realise this was totally wrong and I'm so pset at myself shouldof had my own life and notanswered all those late night calls its just when you hearer say I loeto her your voice and you can't callme too much you get sucked in... I now know hat not always beingavailable is not a bad thing it just keeps the spark up the thef enthusiastic. I said to my mate I want to keep her ken but I what to see her all the time and he said that is no god you have to do more on your own and keep er waiting a bit I hate how elatonships arelike this but it's the truth if your busy and can't see your girlfriend hen thy are keener for thenext time. Im kicking myself over this cause I knew this and implemented it so well for a 2 years and then I found myselfjust believing well I don't want to do that anymore I always want to anser but then ang se says I ust ont fel like I did a year ago I don't feel that emotional love now. WOW how true my mate washe said keep the sopark alove keep her missing you.. I have sincethought about this and its not about just not answering and exting all the time but if you do have a full life then there will be times when you can't answer and aretruly busy and this will ust make her have to wait for you and want you more when she finally gets to see ou. Wish I kept thinking of this when we wer together it was so good. We broke up 5 months ago and got back togetera week later and I put my plan into place and stayed busy at tennis gym and swimming and when she rang I was buy and she was so keen writing messages like I miss you heaps... But then in the last six weeks aftershe said I've beenthinking of you a lot I startedto tell her loveu lots babe and aain was always there I forgot about what was working and went back to my old ways what a loser I worked out how to ply it and what got her fired and the loser I am still went back to the wimpy way. Anyway I chased er for a month and now I have decided to not contact her for two weeks starting today. Hopefully se alls me in a couple of weeks cause I still love her. Just wish I had of stuck to my plan it was going so well... I hateaving to be like this and feelso miserable knowingtha to keep someone interested you have to be busy when I want to see er all the time but that is unealty I know that. Im dying here ad ope se comes back but I'm not holding my breath I think she is already getting over me. When I speak to her she says she likes the coupkes things but watssome time on her own ifonly I adnt of been such a nice guy and let her wonder where I was I ust couldn't do it cause myself I believed it hurt her not knowing what I wa up to but then when ithink of it now if it keeps the fire burning then its all good. If you see her too ofteen and give her too much the passion will slowly dimer until se thinks you may not be the one as what happened to me...

This is a long post but wated to get this all off why chest, I would hate to meet another girl and know tat I'm not going to be able to give her everything cause girls pull away and love to chase but that's how it is and the sooner peopke realise this the more you keep her keen the more se will want to be in the relationship and now I realise its not wha you giveher but its how you make her feel inside and when she's wondering what your doing it makes her really love you. Thanks.

Well, if it is true love you should not have to play games but I do agree that there is a spark that you have to keep alive but usually that spark fades anyway and love is what is left behind. If love is not left behind then it was never meant to be anyway.

I think that the younger women (and I don't mean all) generally search for excitement and continuous sparks and move on to the next one when they think the sparks have gone and forget the most important thing in a relationship is loving one another and supporting one another and standing by one another. That's the thing, when you are young, you just want to have fun, explore life and find yourself and that's what being young should be about.

I think that if you want a relationship that is going to last, you need to find a mature woman who has been through all that and is ready to take on the responsibility of an adult relationship where you support each other through anything, love each other and grow old together. My breakup made me realise that I want someone like that, a mature woman who knows what it means to be in a relationship.

We all live and learn.. LOL

Nice rant, hope it made you feel better. We all live and learn and next time you won't be so quick to give up your life for some booty.

Well, if it is true love you should not have to play games but I do agree that there is a spark that you have to keep alive but usually that spark fades anyway and love is what is left behind. If love is not left behind then it was never meant to be anyway.

I think that the younger women (and I don't mean all) generally search for excitement and continuous sparks and move on to the next one when they think the sparks have gone and forget the most important thing in a relationship is loving one another and supporting one another and standing by one another. Thats the thing, when you are young, you just want to have fun, explore life and find yourself and thats what being young should be about.

I think that if you want a relationship that is going to last, you need to find a mature woman who has been through all that and is ready to take on the responsibility of an adult relationship where you support each other through anything, love each other and grow old together. My breakup made me realise that I want someone like that, a mature woman who knows what it means to be in a relationship.

We all live and learn..LOL
Thanks for that your right the spark was not kept alive like it souldhave been mether when she was 18 annow she's 22 and she thinks she needs to miss you everyday to be with you and I had that in for a long time she missed me so much. Wel maybe the no contact will make her miss me if I haven't alredy driven er awa... cheers

She might just want to be young and have fun for a while (meaning a few years). I mean, she met you very young and at 22 she is still very young and may have felt she had missed out on something, the single life...

I bet that's it...

She might just want to be young and have fun for a while (meaning a few years). I mean, she met you very young and at 22 she is still very young and may have felt she had missed out on something, the single life...

I bet thats it...

I think your right she has only slept with one other guy and she said she doesn't want to sleep with any guys but I think she wants time on her own to be her own person but I think she is finding it hard cause she said for her to do that it means giving up me and she said I like being with you so nuch and what if I'm givingup something real good but how ill I ever know...

The only way she will know is if she spends time away from you. Perhaps you both need to work on yourselves for a while. I would let the natural course of time work things out if I were you but that still does not mean waiting for her. You need to make it clear to her what this breakup actually means.

Usually a breakup is for good, but a separation is when you both mutually agree on time apart so you can focus on yourselves and then reconcile later if you both feel that you wish to do so. You know, she may want to date other guys but may not want you to know that because she ha feelings for you.. I don't mean to upset you by opening up this possibility in your mind.

3 1/2 years is a long chapter of her life.