What do you say or do when you can't get through to your fifty year old son....He takes pain meds and mixes them with alcohol.....In ER tonight.....over dose Wof pills but found no alcohol in blood......staying over night for observation.......He lives in my studio behind my home......can't deal with his killing himself........yet want to help.......

Why pain meds? Who's prescribing them? Does your son realize he has a problem?

Why pain meds? Who's prescribing them? Does your son realize he has a problem?

His doctor... very bad back injury... xanax is the current drug... he says he cannot seem to deal with it... wants to numb the pain... very bad depression...

His doctor... very bad back injury... xanax is the current drug... he says he cannot seem to deal with it... wants to numb the pain... very bad depression...
His doctor knows this? Xanax isn't really for pain.

His doctor knows this? Xanax isn't really for pain.


Xanax is for the depression which he over dosed today... he is also on pain meds at different times... and then combines with alcohol at different times... it all started with his back injury... life was great for him and then the injury... some people handle life better than others... I just want to help son care again... it doesn't help that we just lost my 94 year old mother and his grandmother... but life happens... I just don't want to say things that make it worse... but don't want to enable him... believe I do both...

First get yourself some help. Talk to your doctor (Or the ER doctor) and get a referral for the professionals that work with the families of addicts to support and educate them about what they can do about the suffering family member. Even your local chapter of ALANON can put you in touch with the right people to help get you through this.

Welcome to Al-Anon Family Groups (http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/)

Don't be thrown by the alcohol references, because the drug/substance of choice makes little difference when dealing with an addict. They all send loved ones through hell. It's a process that you can stand to get help getting through it.

Good luck

AlAnon is very helpful, but you need an intervention. He needs to go into rehab and then to transitional housing. To help him, you have to help yourself by learning that you are enabling him. At 50 he should be living on his own off your property. This should be a condition of his rehab.

Some MDs are just plain TERRIBLE about pain.
He needs to address his pain. He was fine before the accident. He wasn't mooching off you, and doesn't have behavioral problems or even addiction problems other than addiction to being pain free.
This is my situation - pain. I doubt that it's as bad as his, but I now understand how people with chronic pain get addicted eventually, just because they haven't found ways to deal with it.
What he needs is PAIN RELIEF.
Interventions and rehab? I feel like he's being dragged right from the accident to some place where he will be told how to deal with this behavior problems! I've had to listen to that. People can't see pain so they don't acknowledge it.

I suggest cannabis! It is a lifesaver for countless people and the numbers grow daily, as it becomes more available.
The science is growing by leaps and bounds too, with different ratios of THC oil and CBD oil, and even different types of those oils.
I'm not talking about smoking the weed; I'm talking about the oils. A few drops will last for 6-8 hours. It is not addictive and has no side effects, and you can't overdose.
(You can ingest too much for going out, driving, etc, but it's a simple matter of starting with small doses, and planning your day around different doses so you can get things done.
A dispensary will be staffed with people who know all about which ones ease pain without getting stoned.
Some people get energized. I fall asleep. If I'm around people, I tend to talk too much, that's all.

I get candies slightly illegally, while my state goes through early stages of legality. They are from medical marijuana states so are labeled with content and have been monitored and tested. I also have some plain oil that I put on cookies.

PLEASE. What state are you in? Or just read this list of states. It's illegal to carry cannabis over state lines, so go there for several days, try some, figure out how to get some home.
http://www.governing.com/gov-data/state-marijuana-laws-map-medical-recreational.html

http://www.marijuanatimes.org/a-closer-look-at-states-trying-to-legalize-marijuana-in-2016/