Me friends at school gave me some stuff to look after for her, I didn't really want to have to look after anything but she's me boyfriends sister so I kind of felt like I didn't have much choice. I've been looking after her things for a while now and am kind of nervous if me da was to find out it wouldn't be good. I've tried to give her stuff back but she makes me feel guilty every time I try to give her stuff back. I don't know what to do I kind of feel very stuck on what to do! I don't want me da to be involved I just want her to take her stuff back. Any suggestions on what to do? How can I tell her?

When you say stuff, do you mean "drug stuff"?

Does it really matter what it is don't want to sound rude so sorry if I do but I just don't want to look after her stuff but I don't want to upset anyone either.

Does it really matter what it is don't want to sound rude so sorry if I do but I just don't want to look after her stuff but I don't want to upset anyone either.

Well, don't be rude "Rudey". Give her, her STUFF back period.

With your history, yes, it matters.

What are you "looking after?"

You need to "thinkaboutit". Looking at all your posts, you go from 1 issue to another-I know I'm probably wrong cause I always am but... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/what-do-816350-post3745972.html#post3745972)

You need to "thinkaboutit". Looking at all your posts, you go from 1 issue to another-I know I'm probably wrong cause I always am but... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/what-do-816350-post3745972.html#post3745972)

I am glad you said it because if I had said it, I would have been in big trouble on here.

Think, if this is something that your father would get upset about, then tell her she either takes it back or you are throwing it away. Be firm.

You need to stand up for yourself. You should not risk getting yourself in trouble to keep her out of it. She is making you hold her stuff because she would get in trouble for it, isn't she? Time for her to take her own risks.

Maybe her brother would like to hold it for her?

Yes it does matter, because if it is something that would upset your da, then it is something you shouldn't have in your possession. You need to think of yourself, not someone who would put you at risk to hide stuff for her. On the other hand if it was just some clothes or something equally innocuous, then our response might be different. So it does matter what the "stuff" is.

You need to "thinkaboutit". Looking at all your posts, you go from 1 issue to another-I know I'm probably wrong cause I always am but... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/what-do-816350-post3745972.html#post3745972)
Yeah I know I have issues but I thought I've getting better I've been staying out of trouble and trying to improve me relationship with me family.


With your history, yes, it matters.

What are you "looking after?"
It's drugs some money and a phone I know I shouldn't be holding it for her and it does make me feel horrible having it I'm scared if me da finds it then it will ruin everything.


Think, if this is something that your father would get upset about, then tell her she either takes it back or you are throwing it away. Be firm.

You need to stand up for yourself. You should not risk getting yourself in trouble to keep her out of it. She is making you hold her stuff because she would get in trouble for it, isn't she? Time for her to take her own risks.

Maybe her brother would like to hold it for her?
I know your right I should just tell her to take it back, I have tried already she just makes me feel guilty then I give in. I don't want to make her get angry and tell her brother. But I don't want me da to find out either I feel very torn.

Why would you feel guilty when you ask her (TELL her!!!!) to take it back?

Why not tell her brother?

Why would you feel guilty?

Why not tell her brother?
I feel guilty cause of what she says to me " If you were me real friend you would hold it for me you know if I get caught I go to Juvie this time" "you just pretend to be me friend to make me brother like you" and heaps more but I won't write it all.
So I feel guilty I do like her but I don't want to be like really friends if it wasn't for her brother I would stay away from her. But he asked me to hang out with her at school so I am. I'm not even sure if he knows probably not I don't know if he will get mad at me. She is really good at twisting things so I'm a little scared of her

I really just want to ditch the whole lot of it I don't like holding it I don't want to be around any drugs at all feels like its constantly in me face

It IS constantly in your face! And if you are caught, guess who gets in trouble???? (Hint: it won't be her.) Get a spine and dump it all back in her lap!

I feel guilty cause of what she says to me " If you were me real friend you would hold it for me you know if I get caught I go to Juvie this time" "

If she were really your friend she would not ask you to risk getting caught with that stuff! What she said was being manipulative and laying a guilt trip on you. Obviously she isn't your friend and is just using you.

I am willing to bet that if you get caught with the "stuff" you are going to be the one who is going to "Juvie" as you call it. As a side bet, I will also bet you friend will not step up and help you by saying that it is her stuff. Also, you are taking a chance that your da will be just as happy as can be when he finds out you got caught with "stuff". Bottom line you will be back at square one with your family. Take that to the Bank.

Tell her to take her stuff back. She is not a friend. Friends don't do that to each other.

If she was a friend, which she obviously isn't, she wouldn't ask you to do something that will get you in to trouble if you get caught with it.

Think of your own well being for a change. You know it's wrong, so either dump the drugs, or give them back to her.....personally, i would get rid of them; not worth the chance of being caught with them. Put the money and phone into a bag and just hand it back to her. Ignore her whinging about being a friend and just walk away. The last thing you need are friends like that.

If your boyfriend has a problem with you not being friends with her, think carefully about whether his behavior and attitude helps you or hurts you.


You need people in your life who help you move in the right direction to make positive choices.....not people who lead you astray, and potentially lead you to more trouble.

How can I tell her?
"Here's your stuff, go find another chump!". Walk away and have a good day! K.I.S..

Thanks I guess it's pretty simple I don't want to hold the stuff and I don't want me da to find out either or get caught with it. I am trying really hard to move away from how I was in the past and if me da finds out I really don't think I'd get another chance he would just send me away. I was just to worried that she would say bad stuff about me to her brother. When I think about it he's just a boy me da will always be me da I'd rather not mess up our relationship over something so stupid. Just have to tell her she needs to get it or ill get rid of it. Thanks for helping me see how stupid I've been and what I'm risking just for some girl I don't even like

IF it is drug things, and you already tried to give it back, I just toss it out, sorry but drug things need to be gone, not given to anyone.

True... get rid of the drugs today... don't keep them in your possession a day longer... don't give them back. By doing so, you'd be helping her not to get caught with them and it can't be turned around and said that YOU gave HER the drugs... which could still get you into trouble.

She's being MANIPULATIVE. Most druggies are, but don't start so young. Assuming she's around your age. Also called GUILT-TRIPPING.
No different from the guy who gets girls to put out by whining "If you really cared about me, you'd have sex with me."

Doing what the 'leaders of the pack' tell you to do is a sign of a typical teen. Asserting your own mind with confidence is a sign of being adult.
Don't use words. Just say 'here' and walk away, or she'll try all the old arguments.

I'm only going to add to what everyone else has told you...

If your boyfriend gets mad at you because you are trying to protect yourself, is he a caring boyfriend? I don't think so.

Also, does your Dad know you have a boyfriend or is this secretive? What does your dad think about the boyfriend? Does he approve?

I would just get rid of the drugs but I'm a bit worried there is a fair amount I don't want to be responsible for them. I texted her to come get her stuff but she hasn't replayed it's the weekend so she's probably out or something. I feel very nervous and guilty having her stuff at the house now me da is home from his work trip. Just hope he doesn't decide to do one of his random checks in me room, might just hide stuff outside.

Stop playing with this. Get rid of the stuff. Give it to your boyfriend and tell him to get rid of it. Keep playing games and you will get burnt. We don't care to play with this subject any longer, grow up. You keep coming back so as to keep this alive, it must be very little to do over there. Just do it, no more excuses.

I'm only going to add to what everyone else has told you...

If your boyfriend gets mad at you because you are trying to protect yourself, is he a caring boyfriend? I don't think so.

Also, does your Dad know you have a boyfriend or is this secretive? What does your dad think about the boyfriend? Does he approve?
Me da doesn't know I have a boyfriend we've only been seeing each other for a little while so thought I'd try and wait a little before I told him. I'm not trying to lie to him but he always tells me that I don't need a boyfriend that I should concentrate on me school, counselling and family which is fine I agree but I like this boy lots and he's really nice so I thought if I could tell him that we've been going out for a while and it hasn't effected anything he's actually been helping me study then he might be all right with me seeing him.

Da has already met him our families are friends it was me da idea for him to tutor me so me grades would improve and they have. I don't get to spend a lot of time with him he goes to a all boys school so its not like it will effect me school.


Stop playing with this. Get rid of the stuff. Give it to your boyfriend and tell him to get rid of it. Keep playing games and you will get burnt. We don't care to play with this subject any longer, grow up. You keep coming back so as to keep this alive, it must be very little to do over there. Just do it, no more excuses.
No problem just thought I would reply to answers

Me da doesn't know I have a boyfriend we've only been seeing each other for a little while so thought I'd try and wait a little before I told him. I'm not trying to lie to him but he always tells me that I don't need a boyfriend that I should concentrate on me school, counselling and family which is fine I agree but I like this boy lots and he's really nice so I thought if I could tell him that we've been going out for a while and it hasn't effected anything he's actually been helping me study then he might be all right with me seeing him.

Da has already met him our families are friends it was me da idea for him to tutor me so me grades would improve and they have.
You are dating the tutor your dad set up for you? Oh, man! This information will cause a blowup, I bet!

Your dad doesn't want you to have a boyfriend, so then you turn right around and make the hand-picked tutor your boyfriend. How much older is this guy?

You are dating the tutor your dad set up for you? Oh, man! This information will cause a blowup, I bet!

Your dad doesn't want you to have a boyfriend, so then you turn right around and make the hand-picked tutor your boyfriend. How much older is this guy?
It's not a big deal he won't really mind he likes this boy they get along really well and he lets me hang out with him he doesn't drink or do drugs or anything he's not suppose to. I just wanted to wait to tell him so he could see that it won't effect anything. He's only one year older than me.

It's not a big deal he won't really mind
Be sure to let us know his reaction.

And this is your druggie friend's brother? Wow! What your dad doesn't know.

Be sure to let us know his reaction.

And this is your druggie friend's brother? I could turn this situation into a novel.
She's not really me friend her brother asked me to hang out with her at school he thought I might be able to talk to her about her about what I went through and maybe help her I said I would hold her stuff cause I thought if she didn't have it then it would be better but then I didn't want to hold it anymore to many problems.
I like the girl but I'm not sure I can help her I'm still trying to get there me self. Anyway don't want to bugging anyone so thanks for advice

You go to her, give her her stuff, and walk away. If she begs you to keep it, say no. If her brother, your boyfriend, finds out and gets mad, then he's not worth having as a boyfriend.

You are in no position to help anyone but yourself. You're not a therapist, you're not an adult. She has to figure out her own issues and deal with them. By helping her you're hurting her, and yourself.

Give her stuff back, if she refuses, throw them in the garbage right in front of her. This is not your responsibility, it's hers, and if she were a real friend she wouldn't be asking you to do this! The fact that she's not a friend should make it even easier.

Stop getting yourself involved in things that will make your life worse. When are you going to learn?