heartyangelgirl
Feb 2, 2016, 11:09 AM
I don't mind having a conversation with friends or other people closest to me, but I absolutely can't bear holding one with my Mum and I know that must be wrong in many ways. I had lost a job a few months ago and have taken up volunteering as a way of developing new skills and looking for a new one later on, and every time I have to answer her as to how I did, I just cringe, struggle to explain how my day went and what I learned, and even try to back out of the conversation altogether.
I just hate sharing with her but I don't quite know. It's probably because I'm so knocked back from losing my job that I'm never 100% certain how my performance will be in a new one and even in a voluntary position, I don't have full confidence in myself or abilities and sometimes I end up trying TOO hard to get things right the first time round and secure my chances of keeping a job in the future rather than losing it.
I'm a bright person with a 2.1. degree, yet I seem to struggle so much with many things such as operating a till efficiently, remembering where each icon is so I'll be able to make transactions quicker and so on when most people pick that up within a day or so. I learn some things fast, yet I'm so slow at learning other things, it's all so inconsistent and I hate opening up about what is really happening, leading my Mum to believe I have no personality or social skills.
I think I'm just a complete mess and it's depressing me seemingly having no sense of true self. :(
I just hate sharing with her but I don't quite know. It's probably because I'm so knocked back from losing my job that I'm never 100% certain how my performance will be in a new one and even in a voluntary position, I don't have full confidence in myself or abilities and sometimes I end up trying TOO hard to get things right the first time round and secure my chances of keeping a job in the future rather than losing it.
I'm a bright person with a 2.1. degree, yet I seem to struggle so much with many things such as operating a till efficiently, remembering where each icon is so I'll be able to make transactions quicker and so on when most people pick that up within a day or so. I learn some things fast, yet I'm so slow at learning other things, it's all so inconsistent and I hate opening up about what is really happening, leading my Mum to believe I have no personality or social skills.
I think I'm just a complete mess and it's depressing me seemingly having no sense of true self. :(