Hi There,

Let me introduce myself. My name is Sanne, I'm 27 years old and currently living in the Netherlands. I'm having a relationship for two years' now. When we started our relationship, it went downhill quickly. But we couldn't live without each other and we've tried to keep the relationship healthy again. Every month or two it goes bad and one of us is packing the bags to go somewhere else. I know it's not normal.

Now, about two weeks ago. My boyfriend kicked me out again. It was done... over. Again. Since then I'm staying at my parents house. I've seen him once or twice since then. We've talked, but he said he needs time to think if he wants to further with me.

It's been 5 days since I've seen him. I'm still in contact with him by text or phone, but I don't get the idea that he really misses me or wants to see me. I'm always inviting myself to his place. For example tonight. I've hoped he would ask me. I'm wondering if all guys are like this...

I want to know where I stand. Should I give him more time? Or... can I ask him if he already made a decision? I don't know what to do... Can somebody help me? I don't want to lose him.

Thanks.

Sanne

He is stringing you along and teaching you a lesson. Not very healthy for you. You have already shown you are very desperate and willing to give away your dignity and self respect to keep a guy who can kick you out and make you chase him whenever he wants.

You can keep being a love junkie, and do as he wants, or reclaim your dignity and self respect and cut ALL contact with him and allow yourself to heal and get healthy so you can see the insanity of your actions.

Sorry, you will never have this fellow if you keep getting kicked in your butt, thrown out, and come back for more. You need to be in LOVE REHAB for a year! Read these relationship stickies (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/) and maybe see a little of what I am talking about.

Don't you think you deserve better than him? There are better guys out there who are ready for a healthy relationship with a healthy person, but you both are sick, him for doing what he is doing, and you for allowing it!

Thank you for the quick reply.
Yes he is. And you are right. Because he knows I always come back.

I'm with Talaniman, move on... there is no real relationship here... certainly not one worth staying in. Definitely not one you should be staying in.

You are right. But its hard :( I get jealous every time when he is online on whatsapp messenger and stuff... Does any of you have any recommendations about getting over someone? I think I would go crazy if I'm breaking contact with him.

I gave you the links to the stickies here (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/)and you should read them and as hard as it will be, you stopping all contact with him is your first step, and that includes stalking his social network that he is on.

We all know how hard that is but like any junkie hooked on dope, you have to stop chasing the dope! Let family and friends help you through this horrible time.

Got a best friend?


I think I would go crazy if I'm breaking contact with him.

You are already crazy chasing him, so what would you have to lose?

Thank you. Yes I do have a best friend. She is always there for me.

Curious to know what her opinion/advice is about this relationship. Care to share?

Hi There,

Let me introduce myself. My name is Sanne, I'm 27 years old and currently living in the Netherlands. I'm having a relationship for two years' now. When we started our relationship, it went downhill quickly. But we couldn't live without each other and we've tried to keep the relationship healthy again. Every month or two it goes bad and one of us is packing the bags to go somewhere else. I know it's not normal.

Now, about two weeks ago. My boyfriend kicked me out again. It was done... over. Again. Since then I'm staying at my parents house. I've seen him once or twice since then. We've talked, but he said he needs time to think if he wants to further with me.

It's been 5 days since I've seen him. I'm still in contact with him by text or phone, but I don't get the idea that he really misses me or wants to see me. I'm always inviting myself to his place. For example tonight. I've hoped he would ask me. I'm wondering if all guys are like this...

I want to know where I stand. Should I give him more time? Or... can I ask him if he already made a decision? I don't know what to do... Can somebody help me? I don't want to lose him.

Thanks.

Sanne

You're right it's not normal. He is trying to mentally abuse you to break your spirit. He's trying to break you emotionally so that you'll stay. This isn't healthy. Breaking up and getting back together every couple of months isn't healthy.

Given him eternity. Cut off contact and let him go on her path in life. He's made his decision, I think it was made a year or so ago. You've lost him a LONG time ago, though I would argue that you never 'had' him to begin with.

What you need to do is block him from your phone, from your Facebook, from every form of contact you have between the two of you. You need to heal and then find someone else. It IS NOT better to be with someone abusive then being alone. DO NO go back to this guy.

( When we started our relationship, it went downhill quickly) Yes, and over 2 years it has gone to the bottom. You did not have a relationship you had a sexual arrangement. Sanne, you deserve better, move on until you find someone who appreciates you. It is not easy and sometimes it takes a lot of patience. When Mr. Right comes along, you will be able to think back and say why did I ever put up with that jerk.

You have to kiss a few frogs before you find a true prince.