I live with my mom and my two younger siblings. I can understand the stress my mother goes through as a single mom. But as a 17 year old girl, my mom just does not let me listen to music, go on YouTube, talk or hangout with my friends. She is very religious, conservative and anti-social. And she expects that I be that way too. But the reality is she is keeping me back from going though what every teenager does in her or his teenage life.

I'm writing this at my school because I don't know how to deal with this. Once I was on the computer just starting to learning how to code because I love coding, but my mom comes yells that I spend too much time hiding behind her back doing "nasty" stuff. I admit that in grade 9 my friend and I trolled people online and did some sexting and my mom caught me doing that. But I never did it again. I learnt from my mistake.

I help my mom out a lot with all the chores and everything else I can as I'm the oldest child. I also have a part time job. Every day my life is just boring and I'm sick to hell from living such a life. I go to school, come home, made everyone food almost everyday, study and then we all go the temple every single day at 5-6 pm. I don't even do anything productive there. I just sit around because I don't believe in chanting mantras to the air for hours. Then we come home like around 8:30 to 9. After that I prepare the food for the next day and go to sleep. You would expect that at least I have weekends to chill out and relax watch a show or a movie. No I work, we go to the temple twice (morning and evening on the weekends) if my work is not that time. You would expect, that after working you should be tired go home and rest. No we to go to the temple.

What do I do? I can't have normal conversations with my friends over hangouts or at school because I don't watch anything, get time to read books or do whatever I like. She is not even letting me buy a cheap phone from my own money or a laptop. I commute to school and work on a bus and sometimes because of clubs or overtime work I come late. I need a phone for emergency. I told my mom that. And she says no you don't need that. She's like you're going to go text boys. Mind you I go to an all girls school and I'm not even interested in boys, thats later on in life. Tell me what I should do I cry sometimes at night about this

Your mom caught you sexting once and she does not rust you.
You will soon be 18. Are you going to college?

Harshness Warning


I can understand the stress my mother goes through as a single mom.

No you can't because you don't have 3 kids like she does. So you won't be a "NORMAL" teen. Be grateful you are loved, supported, and protected, and later on in life, like a year or two you can do what you want, or leave.

Hmm, maybe you are a normal teen, crying about what you want and don't have.

You do realize you have a huge advantage over your friends, don't you? When I was 15 and 16 and 17, I sounded just like you. But then I went off to college and adulthood, and discovered my child care skills were superior, my cooking/baking skills were much in demand, and I could answer all the Jeopardy religion and Bible "questions." :D My friends' mothers wished their daughters were more like me. I finally began to appreciate my mother's strictness. I hope someday you too will appreciate the excellent grounding your mother has given you.

A mother of three can be a nightmare even with the father there , though by herself I have to respect the fact she's not the one crying at night.

All parents worry and hope that this day will not come , that a police officer comes to their door and tells them their child is critical ill in hospital or dead after an accident. There are other things we worry about to, our kids going missing while playing at the playground or coming home from school , getting sick with no cure or experimenting with alcohol and drugs etc.

Someday you will learn all of this , though it is possible you already fell some of this for your younger siblings.

From what I can also tell your at a guess Indian in decent due to going to the temple a few hours a day. If this is true I can understand why you mum does this. India has a great culture and history , though they also have a very dark one directed at Girls that to this day still exists.

Many Girls go missing / disappear every year. Boys are preferred over Girls which has seen ultrasound use regulated to stop people using it to determine sex of the fetus and then to selectively abort female fetuses.

Anyway I will not go into any more of that as it's off topic.

I suggest and no disrespect to you , though for now suck it up. You don't have long to go before you are able to leave home and make your own decisions , though remember this even when you / our kids do , us parents still worry about that day as I said above.

Maybe learn something about your roots and culture as many of this generation take it for granted , like the post above I hope someday you will be able to appreciate why your mother was strict.

Hope this helps.

I'm applying for universities some local and others two hours drive away. I live in Canada. I don't understand why parents have to force upon traditions that don't make sense at all. Like no cutting hair, my hair is long and heavy and really hard to deal with. Or Going to the temple everyday, come on u need to take a break and relax at home. Learn about the world around u. Read or watch the news. I just want to run away at times. But I know that is not a great choice. How do I cope with these things? My mom after I got baptized tells me she loves me now even more because I'm becoming religious

My mom after I got baptized tells me she loves me now even more because I'm becoming religious
Baptism sounds like Christianity. May I ask, which religion are you involved in?

How do I cope with these things?

By looking at the bigger picture of opportunities with mature eyes, and not those eager excited teenager eyes. Get out of your own self serving thinking.

I get you want to explore and experiment with your new found curiosity, but thoughtfulness and discipline in the ways you go about it are what's needed. You only have another year or two to prepare for this and trust me it will come quicker than you think.

Anything you do now must be within the boundaries of good behavior and befitting the oldest daughter of a single mom with 3 kids. Soon you will learn the real value of tradition and culture that you just don't get yet! That's typical teen thinking. Just wait until YOU are no longer a teen, and are a responsible adult and have kids that must be taught STRUCTURE so they can survive in the real world.

That's what your mom is trying to teach you in the only way she knows. Respect that, and you can cope with it.

You're 17. As long as you live under your parents roof, they make the rules. When you're 18 you can move out, cut your hair, make your own decisions, and live your life the way you want to. Hope you can afford to do it, because it means moving out, paying your own way.

Love every 17 year old that hates living at home to their parents rules! Turn 18 and live your life, see how easy it is to live on your terms without your mommy and daddy backing you up! Fools!

Good luck! :)