Me and my ex girlfriend dated for about 8 months. She was the sweetest and one of the nicest, giving people I know. Things were easy and fun for the first 6 months, but the whole time she was VERY needy and would not give me any space whatsoever.. She would get upset if I forgot to say goodnight or good morning to her or she would think something was wrong if I didn't.

At about the 6 month mark, I had 2 very big projects for work that took up 14 hours of my day and would last for about 3 months. (I edit films) I told her I wouldn't be able to go to her place that much because of the time I would be putting in at work, but I said she is welcomed to come to mine anytime she wants. She came over once or twice a week. I told her I appreciated it and it meant a lot to me. When she would come over, I would cook for her and we would spend good quality time talking and getting to know each other. She said she didn't mind the 50 min. drive at all and that she loves seeing me.

After about 2 weeks she started complaining that we don't go out enough. I told her once these projects are done, we will. She said ok. A few days later, she brings it up again and it really started to stress me out.
I had to really concentrate on my work and I told her that. She would say she undertands, but a few days later, she would complain again. We talked about taking a break until I was done the work, but she didn't want that. So we continued on the same path. One day she came over in a miserable mood and said "I hate this "f**king* drive. That shocked me because I didn't think she was like that and I didn't deserve it.

That night I said I needed a break to finish my work and concentrate on getting it done. I ended things on good terms and had hopes to speaking with her again. The next day she texts me complaining that I removed pictures of us from my facebook. Which I did MONTHS before accidentally when I changed my "Tagged" settings.. She said "Oh, I get it. You're seeing someone" She was very bitter and cold.

She would contact me and my brother throughout the next month just saying hi, or sending videos to us that related to our lives. She called me the day before my birthday to wish me a happy birthday. The next day she called again and asked if I got her card. The card came in the mail saying "Happy Birthday Handsome. You are one of the greatest guys I know and you deserved the very best etc"

She called me a few days later and we made plans. I went into it expecting just to hang out. We were watching tv and she said "I was wondering if you want to go upstairs" I talked to her about it and we ended up sleeping together. She said she doesn't want to date anyone or doesn't know if she still has the same feelings for me. So I left it at that.

She called me after Halloween and wanted to know how my Halloween was. Then, she messaged me a video on facebook a few days later and said "What do you think?" She called a few days after that and just "Wanted to see how I was doing". She called me again lastnight to "See how I was doing"
Each time she's very short with me. It's really strange. I never contact my friends that much to see how they are doing, so I'm confused.....

I feel like I'm in limbo here. She doesn't let a week go by without contacting me, but shows no interest in wanting to get together. If I say "Hey, lets make plans" She'll say something like "Sure we'll work something out" I just don't know what to do or how to approach this situation. I don't know if I want to be with her, but the thought of her sleeping with someone else INFURIATES me. I don't want to hurt her or get myself hurt...

Me and my ex girlfriend dated for about 8 months. She was the sweetest and one of the nicest, giving people I know. Things were easy and fun for the first 6 months, but the whole time she was VERY needy and would not give me any space whatsoever.. She would get upset if I forgot to say goodnight or good morning to her or she would think something was wrong if I didn't.

At about the 6 month mark, I had 2 very big projects for work that took up 14 hours of my day and would last for about 3 months. (I edit films) I told her I wouldn't be able to go to her place that much because of the time I would be putting in at work, but I said she is welcomed to come to mine anytime she wants. She came over once or twice a week. I told her I appreciated it and it meant a lot to me. When she would come over, I would cook for her and we would spend good quality time talking and getting to know each other. She said she didn't mind the 50 min. drive at all and that she loves seeing me.

After about 2 weeks she started complaining that we don't go out enough. I told her once these projects are done, we will. She said ok. A few days later, she brings it up again and it really started to stress me out.
I had to really concentrate on my work and I told her that. She would say she undertands, but a few days later, she would complain again. We talked about taking a break until I was done the work, but she didn't want that. So we continued on the same path. One day she came over in a miserable mood and said "I hate this "f**king* drive. That shocked me because I didn't think she was like that and I didn't deserve it.

That night I said I needed a break to finish my work and concentrate on getting it done. I ended things on good terms and had hopes to speaking with her again. The next day she texts me complaining that I removed pictures of us from my facebook. Which I did MONTHS before accidentally when I changed my "Tagged" settings.. She said "Oh, I get it. You're seeing someone" She was very bitter and cold.

She would contact me and my brother throughout the next month just saying hi, or sending videos to us that related to our lives. She called me the day before my birthday to wish me a happy birthday. The next day she called again and asked if I got her card. The card came in the mail saying "Happy Birthday Handsome. You are one of the greatest guys I know and you deserved the very best etc"

She called me a few days later and we made plans. I went into it expecting just to hang out. We were watching tv and she said "I was wondering if you want to go upstairs" I talked to her about it and we ended up sleeping together. She said she doesn't want to date anyone or doesn't know if she still has the same feelings for me. So I left it at that.

She called me after Halloween and wanted to know how my Halloween was. Then, she messaged me a video on facebook a few days later and said "What do you think?" She called a few days after that and just "Wanted to see how I was doing". She called me again lastnight to "See how I was doing"
Each time she's very short with me. It's really strange. I never contact my friends that much to see how they are doing, so I'm confused.....

I feel like I'm in limbo here. She doesn't let a week go by without contacting me, but shows no interest in wanting to get together. If I say "Hey, lets make plans" She'll say something like "Sure we'll work something out" I just don't know what to do or how to approach this situation. I don't know if I want to be with her, but the thought of her sleeping with someone else INFURIATES me. I don't want to hurt her or get myself hurt...

Simple answer to this. Move on... You called her an ex. Some make he an ex. You want things you can't have... and there is a bit of a control freak aspect of your post that only makes my answer more correct.

Its not often you can be an ex and still be friends... its clearly NOT working all that well here because of your insane jealousy of her.

Part ways... find a new friend to hang out with and its going to be a lot better for both of you. As well as your own mental health.

She's not your wife or fiancée. She's got the right to sleep with anyone she wants. As do you.

I get you have a lot of work obligations, but I don't think you get that you don't put in enough work on the relationship. Sure she may well be NEEDY, but I think anyone would when they are not reassured enough, not just in words but emotional investment.

However I think your biggest obstacle is the distance between you physically, and failing to properly address how it makes smaller issues like her neediness an even bigger issue. Even if she was not that insecure about the relationship you have to see that those two hour round trips are wearing this female out, physically, and emotionally, despite her willingness and enthusiasm in the beginning. Coupled with the fact you are so unwilling to understand that making time in your busy schedule for the small things that mean a lot like the quick return texts to show you care especially out of the blue, you have made it hard to add the glue to the bond that's so necessary to move forward with this relationship.

Not only do you have to see things from her perspective, but also see where your own action can be improved.


I ended things on good terms and had hopes to speaking with her again.

And that did a lot of good didn't it? Probably added to the issues as well as her own insecurity. In truth the honeymoon has ended and the real work has started. You can build on complete honesty and if you are both willing to RISK being hurt, endeavor to resolve this thing together ESPECIALLY the DISTANCE (Which to be honest works well for you since you aren't the one doing the driving AT ALL) because simply put most couples no matter how dedicated cannot sustain such a relationship for very long and grow together and end up apart anyway.

If you are not willing to do whatever it takes to grow, at least be honest enough to end this permanently. Either way you cannot save her or you from being hurt, because that's already started. It's a matter now of how much more hurt you will inflict, or have to endure since clearly the course you are on CANNOT be sustained for much longer.

Talk honestly, listen intently, because it's time for a decision from you both, a better plan, because this one ain't working very well is it?

You put your work ahead of the girlfriend, which means you did not really love her anyway. So move on.

If you really have a girlfriend (or later wife) your work should never come first, sorry you have priorities really wrong to keep a relationship.

You find time to go out, at least every 2 weeks anyway, you make her more than a mobile booty call that comes to your house.