I was in a relationship with this girl for about 10 months. She treated me great and would have done anything for me. She was sweet, kind, generous and giving. The thing is, I was never that attracted to her. I didn't feel that "spark" or the chemistry I did with other relationships in the past.

I thought I would try to stick it out and try to develop some sort of attraction and spark with her, but it just wasn't there. I didn't want to kiss her and I didn't want to cuddle with her most of the times. I felt and still feel really horrible about it. I mean this girl really cared for me and I felt like a horrible person because I didn't feel the same in some ways.

We had fun together, but something was just off for me. She was also engaged before and the guy broke it off a week before the wedding. I guess that bothered me as well that she already wanted to spend the rest of her life with someone. (Just my personal feelings)
She would also send me random pictures of her hanging all over her guy friends. It was really strange. After she started doing that I became very un-attracted to her.

I decided I had to end things. It wasn't fair to me or her and I shouldn't have let things drag on as long as they did. At about the 10 month period we talked and I told her it wasn't working out for me and that I still wanted to be friends.

I took about 2 months off from dating and concentrated on myself, my family, and my work. I dated one girl after that. I was very attracted to her and took the time to get to know her without sleeping with her, but the emotional part and her personality was not there for me.

So here is my problem. Now I am second guessing my decision to end things with my ex. I'm thinking to myself, Wow, she treated me so great and cared for me so much, maybe I could learn to be attracted to her or hopefully try to make the chemistry happen because she deserves it. I feel now like I made a mistake. I feel like a bad or shallow person because I didn't find her that attractive and I also feel bad I couldn't strike up strong chemistry with her.

I just have mixed feelings now. I don't know if it's because I truly miss her, or because the last girl I dated didn't have the personality she did? I would like everyone's advice. Cheers!

Really simple, Keep MOVING ON, don't look back! Deal with the YOUR feelings without dragging the ex back into your personal drama. That would be unfair to you both (Especially HER!) and all the regrets won't change anything.

Didn't you led the ex on long enough?

Agree with Tal.

Also how do you know she would consider taking you back? She's going to ask why you broke up with her and if you are any less than honest that would be a bad thing. Let her be free of you so she is able to move on. What you did isn't horrible. But it isn't fair to bring her back in.

If you break up with someone... you need to just stay broken up. Nothing will change and you will find yourself back in the same situation again eventually with them when you could have used that time finding someone better before THAT person manages to find someone as well.

Just like when you are taking a test... your first instinct for an answer us usually right far more often then when you have second thoughts and go back and change it.

Yes, we often second guess and this will be one, you may think about when you are 60 and wonder "what if" I have a few. Some good memories, some bad.

But you move on, it did not work, was not working, so there is no reason to believe it will work now.

What will she think, I wonder. I took someone back once long ago, but resentment smoldered underneath, and it was worse the second time.