I have sole legal and physical custody of my two children in CT. My ex has visitation with them. He has repeatedly refused to pay for normal activities (one plays soccer and one dances) that I have signed them up for even though our agreement says he will pay 50% of activities. I have had to take him to court to force him to pay support, daycare, medical, and activities and even then he disobeys court orders on the contempt motions. He then joined a pool club this summer with his girlfriend and is asking me to pay for half of the fee. Can he do this? Can he sign my kids up for activities in his area and expect me to pay for half of it if I do not agree?

What does the custody agreement say? If he has visitation and the children go swimming with him, on a regular basis, why would you not have to pay? Not the part of his and his wife, but only the part where the child payment.

Of course you could deduct it from what he owes you.

But it all depends on the wording of the child custody paperwork.

I have custody of my son, but in the summer he stays with her, I often pay 1/2 of some of events,

A child support order which requires the non-custodial parent to pay child support and also allows the custodial parent to obligate the NCP for an indefinite portion of fees (thus an amount essentially in the discretion of the custodial parent) is a poorly-drafted order, in my opinion. Fees should be a part of the basic child support amount.

But of course, what is sauce for the gander is also sauce for the goose. OP appears to be obligated for half of the child's portion of the pool club fee (unless the order specifies that only the OP can sign up the kid for the activity). OP would not be obligated for half of the entire fee (which includes not only the child, but the child's father and his GF). It would only be half the difference between a fee charged to a couple (the father and his GF) and a fee charged to the couple plus a child.

He then joined a pool club this summer with his girlfriend and is asking me to pay for half of the fee. Can he do this? Can he sign my kids up for activities in his area and expect me to pay for half of it if I do not agree?

Can he ask you to pay half. Sure he can. But the bigger question is can he require it. You can't have "sole" physical custody if he has visitation rights. Especially if those rights include overnights. But if you have sole legal custody, then he can't legally sign them up for the pool club, but he CAN bring them in as guests.


our agreement says he will pay 50% of activities

This can be interpreted that you will pay for the other 50%. So, if he were to take you to court, I think you would lose on this point. And if you refuse to allow the children to go to the pool club, it will make you the bad guy. I wouldn't advise denying the children something to get back at the father.

What I would do is what Chuck suggested. I would tell him that yes, you will pay your half of the pool fees (as AK said that would be half the difference between the cost of the membership for him and his wife and the full cost. Make sure he provides an itemized invoice) but you will do so, by deducting your share from what he owes for their other activities. If he does take you to court and you show that you have made this offer it will not go well for him.

... he can't legally sign them up for the pool club, but he CAN bring them in as guests. ...

I don't know what the OP, or the custody order, means by "signing up" for "normal activities". I would question whether going to a pool applies. It seems to me that whether the father pays his children as guests or pays for a pass for his family is of no consequence. And, by the same reasoning, I question whether he can ask OP to pay a share of such a pass.

A lot would depend on the wording of the Pool club contract. If the contract contains language that requires agreement from the legal parent or guardian for membership, then the father couldn't sign them up without the mothers consent. But the contract may not be that restrictive. This would be true of any organized activity on either side.

We can discuss this until the cows come home, but until OP comes back I don't think we can add anything useful.