Hello, how is everyone? I have been doing many different activities and I am going to visit two different continents in the next month. My life has been very interesting since the last time I posted here. :)

So far this place has been very helpful to me to cope with break ups. However, I don't think there is a lot information about how to preserve the positive side of early affection.

For example in the beginning of a relationship I

don't judge anything,
don't try to control,
don't worry about too much time ahead,
don't feel jealous of ex bfs,
don't show any discomfort about her mistakes,
do enjoy and get excited in just the company of her,
do respect her every decision,
do make spontaneous and out of comfort-zone decisions,
do delicately adjust the pace of relationship.

So how do you keep being in this mentality as the relationship progress further? I listed my actions/thoughts/feelings towards her, as I am ( am I? wow and yay! ) starting to fall in love, later I fear they will be replaced with the exact opposites.

Is this me growing therefore I will always be like that, or was I always like this in the beginning of my previous relationships? I don't know. Maybe this post can remind future me, what I feel right now. Maybe simple but not so easy solution is to stop being reckless and be more conscious. I would like to read your ideas.

Also a tip for the sailor at the relationship wrecks: House is your little hell where you feel the most pain. Everyday, try your best to get out your front door asap and don't come back till you are sleepy enough to pass out in a few minutes. Furthermore, being a "Yes Man" for some time can help a lot. Watch that movie if you haven't already.

You put way too much thought into all of this and too much pressure on yourself. When you finally realize that a lot of us in long term relationships let it happen naturally without a ton of pressure then maybe you'll get there too.

You are so over-thinking how relationships happen.

Rather than planning, let it happen naturally. Remember that whatever happened before you is none of your business.

Just relax, and enjoy what you have while you have it, and don't be so easily carried away by your own intense feelings. Celebrate in 6 months if you still feel it, but for now just one day at a time would be healthy.

The first month of dating my current wife, was just fun, no thought, no plan, just having good time with a new person.

If you try to plan every possible thing, it will never work.

But understand some issues. Like China... unless it is some more western young people. There is no such thing as causal dating. If there is a second date, you are considered a possible husband/wife. If there is a fourth date, there is an unspoken agreement, that this may lead to marriage. If you have sex. Then you have agreed to marry in the future.

Marriage within 2 to 6 months after first date, is not uncommon, for older couples dating. Younger couples may go 4 to 6 years dating before marriage.

One of my best friends has gone through, and continues to go through, many serious relationships (that don't last) because- when I asked her- she said, "I love falling in love". I think that we can all say those really heady early days are nature's way of giving you all the feelings of love, but none of the reality. That sets in as the second layer, of building a deeper, more meaningful relationship.

If you are lucky, you will experience love, on a level, that cannot be compared to any other relationship that you have ever had.

To try to prepare yourself as you have posted, only to be disappointed in the end, is because you use almost a formula to judge the quality or longevity of the relationship, and see if at the end of an analysis, whether it measures up and is worth any further investment.

But, in so doing, you miss some opportunities to just explore. No two women are the same, no two relationships are the same. And if you were to look back now at the relationships you've had, you will more clearly see the relationships, each very different from each other.

Don't try too hard to limit deeper, more meaningful feelings, that you may not be able to quantify. There will be qualities and characteristics that you will discover not only in a new love, but also in yourself- if you don't try so hard.

All the best.