We been together for a few weeks and was talking for a while before, the problem is he doesn't like my hectic schedule ( school, work, and dealing with my mental health) he doesn't think I meet him meet him enough, before we were going out I met him everyday, 2nd week 3-4 times and okay the second we were only seen each other twice but I felt ill and I find it difficult to see people as well.

Then I was due to meet him yesterday but mum came up and she was normal and that doesn't happen very often, all I want is mum time and even though it was for a little bit yesterday I still got it, but he didn't like the fact I put him to the side and everything else.

He can't stand my parents past and still to be the present. And when we have a family problem we all come together to deal with it, we are a tight family unit.

As He is lovely, kind nice to me, calls me his princess and will treat me loads (not that I care about that)
But can be pushy, demanding and very opinionated.

I don't know to think or feel as I have mixed emotions due to the mental health but I don't think I feel the same as before?
What shall I do? Am in the wrong?

If he is being that judgemental at this stage than you are better off without him..

Okay I didn't know if that's normal for a lad or if this is what to expect?

If he truly cares for you knowing how you feel about your family, he would not complain about cancelling out with him to be with your mom.

How old is this guy? I know you like them older. How did you meet him? I find it deceptive to be honest through all your other posts you never once even mentioned dating, now all of a sudden you are in a new relationship!

I mean you barely have a good healthy relationship with yourself, and now you throw a stranger in the mix?

Come clean with the whole story Kezzy, or this is but another example of your impulsive, misguided actions that are not very well thought out. Small wonder you are already conflicted and confused by yet another thrown together situation.

How old is this guy? I know you like them older. How did you meet him?

Met him through Facebook, and he is 21. And sorry I didn't realise I do that. And everything I have posted is the truth? And that is the story what I said there is what is the truth and what has happened?

I don't doubt your honesty, just the way you selectively leave out important facts. And you think it's okay for 16 year old troubled teen to jump into a relationship with a 21 year old she has meet on Facebook??

Well I DON'T! I find it both impulsive, and irresponsible, and totally desperate, and highly inappropriate! I bet your parents or guardians know nothing of this, and maybe that's your problem in the first place, a total lack of discipline and supervision.

My family do know about this, and have met him, he is an accountant. And it's not desperate as we been speaking for 5 months. But since been going out its all sort of changed?

Tell me who he has met and who approves of this? You have no friends, or social life, with those your own age but you have a grown man you found on Facebook (No doubt you talked to more than just him)??

Maybe something is lost in our cultural understanding but sweet words and attention you don't normally get does not make for a healthy relationship and seems more a quick fix feel good, and a distraction from a hectic, CONFUSED life you have made for yourself.

I don't think a 16 year old, who talks to grown men on Facebook is a healthy thing at all. Of course the direction of this whatever you are doing with this grown man has changed because he is asserting his own will over you (He is grooming your young arse!). That's what grown men do with very young confused females. This is only the beginning.

My gran parents, auntie and uncle and my mates which I do just don't hang with them that much, my work. It's not illegal when your 16? And it's committed over fb.

And your understanding of me talking to other guys is not true, just him at this moment and time.
Not sure?

Considering you physical and mental health, he is not a good match for you. You need someone who is supportive. He is not at all supportive of your health or your family It sounds as though he is manipulative and could become emotionally abusive. You don't need that in your life.

Right now you don't need a man. You need to get yourself physically and mentally healthy before you enter into any relationship. Dump him.

Okay I'm going to end it. I have a better understanding that it's his character and not me as such.

I meant you have always entertained talking, and meeting older guys through the social network, and now you have found one. You say he has met your mom and dad who are hardly there? Did they question you as I have? Do they know of the older guys you have courted over the net before, or is this the same guy as before?

And I don't care what you or anyone else says there is no such thing as a commitment over Facebook! It's an unhealthy distraction built on less than accurate information and false expectations and perceptions.

A poor substitute for face to face interactions. So tell me the real truth here Kezzy, have you met in person? Has he met your family in person? See how you hide behind half truths, and less than straight information?

Time to get real with us, and more importantly....yourself!!!! I never did buy that troubled naïve, distressed young female act you have been selling here in the first place so cut it out! Hate to be harsh but if I didn't care I wouldn't say anything.

So tell me the real truth here Kezzy, have you met in person? Has he met your family in person?

Yes I have meet in person and I have even slept over his house ( did nothing) and everything I have said is all true in all of my questions? And I don't live with my parents I live with my grandparents and yes they have meet him 2-3 times! And this is not the same guy as the other he is younger! I am being real with you I don't know why you wouldn't think I'm not why eould I lie about it all, as what's the point in that. I'm sorry I'm truly bit messed up, which I am working on with my college, counslors, speak out group, cahms and will be seeing someone else shortly too, my doctors etc. And my family have not question me due to that fact I'm nearly 17 in a few weeks. And I didn't just met the last guy over the network it was through fire cadets.

Im telling the truth through out!

Okay, thank you.

this act is true it's me and it is what I think and gone through?


Time to get real with us, and more importantly....yourself!!!! I never did buy that troubled naïve, distressed young female act you have been selling here in the first place so cut it out! Hate to be harsh but if I didn't care I wouldn't say anything.
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I would honestly wait a while before you dated. I don't honestly think you're in the right mental and physical state to be in a relationship. You need to work on yourself right now and if you add another person into the mix while you're rebuilding yourself then you're going to muddle your growth with his demands. This will lead you to tailoring yourself into the person he wants you to be rather then the person who you are. This will lead to horrible dissatifaction on his part and a sense of unknown loss on your part. It will lead to tears and heartache with both of you.

At this point you need to become more comfortable in your skin and in your mind. You're neither.

As well, there is the possibility of statutory rape charges. Your parents, and his family might approve but it takes a concerned citizen to come and make a complaint and he's locked up.

You need to think things through better. It is nice to get caught up in the flutter and excitement but you need to keep your rational mind here and active. When you don't, things go awry.

Good luck.

That's true and makes sense. Thanks and I think I do need to work on myself first, didn't thibk being a relationship can do that.

That's true and makes sense. Thanks and I think I do need to work on myself first, didn't thibk being a relationship can do that.
Honey, you can't be in a relationship unless you are healthy both mentally and physically. You will never have a healthy relationship until YOU are healthy.

Right now you need to concentrate on getting yourself better. Adding anyone else into the mix will set you back. YOU are your #1 priority

I also want to know why a 21 year old man wants anything to do with a 16 year old child. I'm sorry, Kezzy, but that's just sick. The two of you have NOTHING in common. You are in different stages of life.

While le you say nothing sexual has happened, I doubt that. You haven't been completely truthful with us and you tend to evade our responses with a simple "okay, thank you."

21 year old men have nothing in common with 16 year old children except for the fact that he knows he can convince you to spread your legs for him. This man is a pervert plain and simple.

You also tend to hang onto anyone who gives you attention whether it be a guy, people on this site, or mental health professionals. I find it unsettling that someone you have been with only a short time seems to know all the details about you, enough to comment and judge you on. A few questions ago I said that you seem to have a whole lot going on at the moment. Until you put it all together you won't be a successful partner to anyone. But at 16 years old you need to focus on growing up and not on attention seeking.

I reply with okay thanks because I don't know what else to say? And we haven't done nothing sexual, but I do understand were your coming from, but is this still true if he says he's hasn't slept with anyone. And I have been truthful in everything, I think your meaning because I don't put up all the information I didn't know it was important. And your correct I think I do need to look after myself but that's hard I have only done that once and that was when I moved out at 15 years old. And your right didn't realise I was attention seeking was simply asking for advice?

The other people answering you are doing so because they care about you...some of it may sound harsh or accusatory and it is...but because they care.

Me? Well, I don't know you enough to care one way or the other really so I will say what I have to say without any fanfare and leave it at that. First, I agree that you shouldn't be with a 21 year old guy...he is up to no good. That's how this works. Second, he sounds like a jerk anyway. If he is already getting upset because you wanted to spend time with your mother, it is only going to get worse. I think you already know that and already have doubts about him otherwise you wouldn't have asked this question.

Tell him it's over, forget him, fix yourself, become more stable, and then worry about a relationship.

He hasn't slept with anyone. Is this what he says, and he is 21 and a player ? Don't think so really.