SoulWatch
May 17, 2015, 04:22 PM
Hello
A while back I posted a question in this section under the title 'Do I have to see a doctor?' (and here (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental-emotional-health/do-have-see-doctor-808583.html) is the link)
I still haven't visited doctor but I have consulted one anonymously regarding the subjects in the question
He took his time asking a ton of questions and came to the conclusion that asperger's is a very high possibility and so is major depression
However this question is not about that.
My question here today is about a few things that I don't know if I should put in perspective or just ignore, and if possible resolve the issues
My horrible dreams are back, and I always wake up horrified and yelling/crying
My dreams almost always include either death, or torture, or both
And occasionally horrifying sexual stuff added to death and torture, sometimes about black magic, and many many other things and sometimes everything combined (literally everything)
I do hear voices at times but it's never bothered me enough to actually tell someone, but it started in my dreams
The voices in my dreams range from simple words from someone I love/d (with the words meaning a lot to me) telling me that it's okay in the same tone to voices iv'e never heard before saying horrifyingly weird sentences like "LICK THE DOOR", "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I KILLED YOU??", "RUN, THEY'RE HERE"... etc
Those are just stuff I hear, what I see is different however from the whispers and yells, by that I mean the voices are in the background while I'm seeing/feeling/living a painful series of events
Sometimes when I wake up I see things that are not there or are just plain abnormal, I am wide awake at those times and I can also be talking to someone on the phone or texting them and the next day I remember nothing
However the way I talk is familiar to me (we'll get back to this point in a minute) even though it's not how I normally talk or act
Now one thing that is strange to me is that the dreams almost always occur in the same place, and the hallucinations are almost always the same, and my dreams are always about being hurt, or someone else that was hurt, or is being hurt
I want to talk about location details for a second and what I see from a symbolic point of view and what I feel in those locations and describe them
Location one:
I'm in a place I haven't seen in reality but I dreamed about a lot and has some details close to a real place like colors and texture
What I see: death, torture, horrifyingly sexual behavior
What I feel: fear, pain, the need to protect
Description:
A place full of oddly placed trees, at my right I see only the leaves of a tree in an endless massive perfectly circular hole, the tree must be amazingly huge because the last leaves nearly reach shoulder height
About 150 meters ahead is a massage house that a few females from my family decide to go to, I enter the male section while they enter the female section and what I see is horrifying
The room is very large, on my right I see old men that are alive but have their internal organs lying next to them and they are on oxygen, the floor is flooded with blood
I walk to the end of the room to find in a small golden room blinding neon blue lights with two men with wide eyes staring at me with a smile from ear to ear sitting on red cushions
The man on my right has human skin on the wall behind him just nailed there
The man on the left had a painting behind him, and between the two men was blood and a slaughtered human lying on the floor
Location two:
A place iv'e never seen before
What I see: torture, death, pain, loneliness, mercy
What I feel: immense physical pain, loneliness, incredible fear
Description:
An old house with a fireplace that's been closed, and a painting above it are in front of me
Everything is gray
On my right is a window that's also closed, and I can see eyes through the wooden boards
On my left is nothing but a wall and a door a few meters away from me
With a black dog staring at me
Location three:
What I see: incredible fear, mystery, hatred, jealousy, fake companionship
What I feel: fear, pain, confusion, loneliness
Description:
I'm in this room with four exits
They all lead you to the same room, by that I mean like teleporting you to the same room that only has one window right in front of you as soon as you enter the room and another exit on the right that also leads to an identical room but isn't the room you're in
Location four:
What I see: hatred, fear, violent behavior
What I feel: fear, the need to run
Description:
This place is an industrial ghost town, describing it is nearly impossible
It's gray with a slight tint of dark green
It has a lot of high places that I find myself jumping from one to another
Location five: (for location five and six, I'll describe the whole dream and how I feel when I wake up, and what happens the day I wake up and not just the location)
This is a place iv'e been dreaming about ever since I could remember
What I see: I'm not sure
What I feel: I'm not sure
Description:
A cave with many tunnels, the colors are amazing, it's pretty much the colors you can see on bubbles but in a darker texture
The dream: I walk endlessly in this cave looking for something and hearing the voice of a female, I don't know what I'm looking for, nor who that voice belonged to at first
I wake up feeling weird, everyone looks at me strangely, air feels lighter, I feel lightheaded, and for some reason everyone starts acting strangely as if they know something that I don't, something that makes their every move towards me sympathetic, as if I have lost someone I loved
Location six:
My room
What I see: sympathy
What I feel: sympathy
Description: (as if you were on my bed)
On your right you will fond only a wall with a window
In front of you is a closet
On your left is a desk in the wall
Behind you is another wall with another window
The dream: I'm lying in my bed and on my left is a white chair with me sitting on it
But my skin is pale to the point that it looks blue
He's sitting head down and elbows on his knees and looks incredibly sad and is whispering to himself "why..., why..., why..,"
Suddenly looks up at me and yells "WHY!!"
The next moment he's on my chest and whispers to me a name that I sometimes can hear, others I can't
I wake up horrified and jumpy
And on the day I wake up, I get informed that the person has died later on in the day
Now a dream related to this one happened a few years ago only once
Same first scene but this time he seemed more than sad
He looked so sad he was actually smiling, I know because I do that a lot
And instead of him being on my chest I find myself walking in a street I know very well in real life
But the streetlights and the bus stop were ripped out except one
And I can see the pale me walking towards me and when I got close enough he hugged me and I woke up
On that day I was walking home from school and I saw him sitting on a wall distantly
I slowed down to get a good look and a car accident happened a few meters away from me and one of the cars literally flew so close to me that I could feel the air that moved with it
I wonder what would've happened if I didn't slow down
.
My hallucinations
The three I see most are two friends that passed away, and one -different- little girl
By different I mean strange and abnormal
What bothers me about this is I'm not the only one who's seen the little girl
One of the times I saw her my mother had a glimpse of her and was incredibly shocked
The only other time someone else saw her is a very close friend of mine that said that she sees her a lot
And we almost always see her on the same nights
I saw something terrible happen to the strange girl
After that we never saw her again
.
Feel free to ask for further details that you need to know
I'm sorry I tend to get unorganized and scattered when I try to describe something
And of course it's hard to remember every single detail
And I'm sorry it's a very long question but I wouldn't ask for the help if I didn't need it
Thank you for your time
A while back I posted a question in this section under the title 'Do I have to see a doctor?' (and here (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental-emotional-health/do-have-see-doctor-808583.html) is the link)
I still haven't visited doctor but I have consulted one anonymously regarding the subjects in the question
He took his time asking a ton of questions and came to the conclusion that asperger's is a very high possibility and so is major depression
However this question is not about that.
My question here today is about a few things that I don't know if I should put in perspective or just ignore, and if possible resolve the issues
My horrible dreams are back, and I always wake up horrified and yelling/crying
My dreams almost always include either death, or torture, or both
And occasionally horrifying sexual stuff added to death and torture, sometimes about black magic, and many many other things and sometimes everything combined (literally everything)
I do hear voices at times but it's never bothered me enough to actually tell someone, but it started in my dreams
The voices in my dreams range from simple words from someone I love/d (with the words meaning a lot to me) telling me that it's okay in the same tone to voices iv'e never heard before saying horrifyingly weird sentences like "LICK THE DOOR", "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I KILLED YOU??", "RUN, THEY'RE HERE"... etc
Those are just stuff I hear, what I see is different however from the whispers and yells, by that I mean the voices are in the background while I'm seeing/feeling/living a painful series of events
Sometimes when I wake up I see things that are not there or are just plain abnormal, I am wide awake at those times and I can also be talking to someone on the phone or texting them and the next day I remember nothing
However the way I talk is familiar to me (we'll get back to this point in a minute) even though it's not how I normally talk or act
Now one thing that is strange to me is that the dreams almost always occur in the same place, and the hallucinations are almost always the same, and my dreams are always about being hurt, or someone else that was hurt, or is being hurt
I want to talk about location details for a second and what I see from a symbolic point of view and what I feel in those locations and describe them
Location one:
I'm in a place I haven't seen in reality but I dreamed about a lot and has some details close to a real place like colors and texture
What I see: death, torture, horrifyingly sexual behavior
What I feel: fear, pain, the need to protect
Description:
A place full of oddly placed trees, at my right I see only the leaves of a tree in an endless massive perfectly circular hole, the tree must be amazingly huge because the last leaves nearly reach shoulder height
About 150 meters ahead is a massage house that a few females from my family decide to go to, I enter the male section while they enter the female section and what I see is horrifying
The room is very large, on my right I see old men that are alive but have their internal organs lying next to them and they are on oxygen, the floor is flooded with blood
I walk to the end of the room to find in a small golden room blinding neon blue lights with two men with wide eyes staring at me with a smile from ear to ear sitting on red cushions
The man on my right has human skin on the wall behind him just nailed there
The man on the left had a painting behind him, and between the two men was blood and a slaughtered human lying on the floor
Location two:
A place iv'e never seen before
What I see: torture, death, pain, loneliness, mercy
What I feel: immense physical pain, loneliness, incredible fear
Description:
An old house with a fireplace that's been closed, and a painting above it are in front of me
Everything is gray
On my right is a window that's also closed, and I can see eyes through the wooden boards
On my left is nothing but a wall and a door a few meters away from me
With a black dog staring at me
Location three:
What I see: incredible fear, mystery, hatred, jealousy, fake companionship
What I feel: fear, pain, confusion, loneliness
Description:
I'm in this room with four exits
They all lead you to the same room, by that I mean like teleporting you to the same room that only has one window right in front of you as soon as you enter the room and another exit on the right that also leads to an identical room but isn't the room you're in
Location four:
What I see: hatred, fear, violent behavior
What I feel: fear, the need to run
Description:
This place is an industrial ghost town, describing it is nearly impossible
It's gray with a slight tint of dark green
It has a lot of high places that I find myself jumping from one to another
Location five: (for location five and six, I'll describe the whole dream and how I feel when I wake up, and what happens the day I wake up and not just the location)
This is a place iv'e been dreaming about ever since I could remember
What I see: I'm not sure
What I feel: I'm not sure
Description:
A cave with many tunnels, the colors are amazing, it's pretty much the colors you can see on bubbles but in a darker texture
The dream: I walk endlessly in this cave looking for something and hearing the voice of a female, I don't know what I'm looking for, nor who that voice belonged to at first
I wake up feeling weird, everyone looks at me strangely, air feels lighter, I feel lightheaded, and for some reason everyone starts acting strangely as if they know something that I don't, something that makes their every move towards me sympathetic, as if I have lost someone I loved
Location six:
My room
What I see: sympathy
What I feel: sympathy
Description: (as if you were on my bed)
On your right you will fond only a wall with a window
In front of you is a closet
On your left is a desk in the wall
Behind you is another wall with another window
The dream: I'm lying in my bed and on my left is a white chair with me sitting on it
But my skin is pale to the point that it looks blue
He's sitting head down and elbows on his knees and looks incredibly sad and is whispering to himself "why..., why..., why..,"
Suddenly looks up at me and yells "WHY!!"
The next moment he's on my chest and whispers to me a name that I sometimes can hear, others I can't
I wake up horrified and jumpy
And on the day I wake up, I get informed that the person has died later on in the day
Now a dream related to this one happened a few years ago only once
Same first scene but this time he seemed more than sad
He looked so sad he was actually smiling, I know because I do that a lot
And instead of him being on my chest I find myself walking in a street I know very well in real life
But the streetlights and the bus stop were ripped out except one
And I can see the pale me walking towards me and when I got close enough he hugged me and I woke up
On that day I was walking home from school and I saw him sitting on a wall distantly
I slowed down to get a good look and a car accident happened a few meters away from me and one of the cars literally flew so close to me that I could feel the air that moved with it
I wonder what would've happened if I didn't slow down
.
My hallucinations
The three I see most are two friends that passed away, and one -different- little girl
By different I mean strange and abnormal
What bothers me about this is I'm not the only one who's seen the little girl
One of the times I saw her my mother had a glimpse of her and was incredibly shocked
The only other time someone else saw her is a very close friend of mine that said that she sees her a lot
And we almost always see her on the same nights
I saw something terrible happen to the strange girl
After that we never saw her again
.
Feel free to ask for further details that you need to know
I'm sorry I tend to get unorganized and scattered when I try to describe something
And of course it's hard to remember every single detail
And I'm sorry it's a very long question but I wouldn't ask for the help if I didn't need it
Thank you for your time