I cannot read the signals.

I cannot read the signals.

How do you expect us to help if you have given us next to nothing to go on ? Care to expound ?

How do you expect us to help if you have given us next to nothing to go on ? Care to expound ?

I don't even see next to nothing... I see nothing at all.

How do you expect us to help if you have given us next to nothing to go on ? Care to expound ?
I don't know what happened there. My original question was much longer. That was only the title. I will try and post it again and would be grateful for your opinion if I don't mess it up again!

Instead of posting it again... put the information in as an answer to this one.

Instead of posting it again... put the information in as an answer to this one.
Ok Smoothy, thank you. Here's my full question.

Hello, my name is Angela and here is my question. I'm two weeks into a new job. I was brought around and introduced to everyone on my first day. One of my new colleagues, who manages a different department to me has given me positive attention from day one. For example he always greets me by name and always goes out of his way to help me if I happen to walk into his department. He's also about 1.95 m (6'5") in height and really good looking so he's way out of my league. A lot of women are interested in him. He is also a really positive, upbeat, kind person who is friendly to all. Until recently, I thought how lucky I was that this great person wanted to be friends. It never occurred to me that he would want more as I'm about 15 years older than him with children. I'm quite attractive but nothing special. He has a beautiful colleague who looks like a model and is also a very nice person who is really attracted to him but he's just not into her. I can't believe he would have feelings for me over her but a couple of things have happened with him and now I'm not sure.

This is what happened. I was at a meeting one morning so I didn't see him until much later than usual. After lunch when he walked over to me to ask me if I enjoyed the meal I asked him "did you miss me this morning?" He became very flustered and embarrassed and denied it. English isn't his first language so when I repeated the question he suddenly seemed to understand but then he started breathing hard like he was out of breath and wouldn't look at me. The other thing is that I've caught him checking me out a couple of times when he thought I wasn't looking. I've seen his work colleagues discussing something and staring over at me so maybe he's been talking about me. Lastly, even though he still goes out of his way to help me, he has become quite shy around me.

A friend's opinion is that he was attracted to me when he met me and enjoyed helping me but now his attraction has intensified and he's become awkward around me. I'm not sure how to read the signals. I would appreciate any insight. Men are a mystery to me!

He could be nice, and just flirting. Is there anything that sets you apart? You said that you're about 15 years older then him, that puts you in your late 30s/ early 40s? I am assuming that you're a single mother based upon your question. It isn't unusual for a man to be interested in a older woman, it could be that he's attracted to you or it could be just because you're female. Men are visual creatures and tend to stare or check you less subtly then they think they are.

Maybe take him out for lunch one day and talk to him about what's going on. We can speculate all we want but the truth will come form him.

Two weeks into a new job and you're already heading down a road that could be full of bad consequences. First maybe he's just nice and wants to make the new person feel welcome. Second you've been there two weeks. Shouldn't your focus be on learning your role and position at your new job, especially if you are on some sort of probationary period? It's my humble opinion it's way too early for you to be asking uncomfortable questions like "Did you miss me?" Maybe this guy is gay, in a long term relationship, or just came out of a relationship and is on a break - but after just 2 weeks you can't know details of his life. You are heading down a path that is fraught with problems.

Why not just return his kindness with kindness and be wary of office romances because they are filled with office politics.

You are having a very natural smitten crush on an attractive new guy who shows you attention, and unfortunately you are making this an office JOKE! You really need to be cool, and learn your surroundings, and not make this a high school crush drama since you have no clue about the people around you or what they are saying.

Really bad idea to even consider making your new job into a social outlet and leaves a bad impression on those that you cannot know well, and they cannot know you well either. I advise forget the mysteries of men and control your impulse to wonder and fantasize over possibilities because of this crush, or worse assuming and presuming what the action of others mean with the starring, and drama of others crushing over this fellow. All just the fodder of office GOSSIP.

I strongly advise you don't feed the drama and gossip or put this fellow into any embarrassing situations so control your own impulses, and keep it business only and be glad he IS/WAS friendly. Of course you return friendly gestures with friendly gestures in return, but leave that personal stuff alone among work colleagues who are strangers.

Work is NOT the place to get carried away by whatever intense feeling you have being on the job TWO freakin' weeks!! Men may be a mystery to you but females should not be, and they may resent the cute cougar grabbing at the office stud they would like to have and maybe FAILED at attracting. And young chicks have their own "cliques" of which you know nothing about... YET.

You better be cool and keep it real until you know a lot more about the territory you find yourself in... and the people in it. CONTROL yourself!

"What kind of relationship is it?"

Hopefully a good WORKING one! No more. No less,

Two weeks into a new job and you're already heading down a road that could be full of bad consequences. First maybe he's just nice and wants to make the new person feel welcome. Second you've been there two weeks. Shouldn't your focus be on learning your role and position at your new job, especially if you are on some sort of probationary period? It's my humble opinion it's way too early for you to be asking uncomfortable questions like "Did you miss me?" Maybe this guy is gay, in a long term relationship, or just came out of a relationship and is on a break - but after just 2 weeks you can't know details of his life. You are heading down a path that is fraught with problems.

Why not just return his kindness with kindness and be wary of office romances because they are filled with office politics.

Well, that staring and flirting happened up to the end of last week. When I got into work this week, it had all stopped like someone turned off a tap! No idea why?? You're right. It's foolish to push the way I have been doing. It's just the job is temporary and now because I pushed it a bit I've lost a possible friend.

It's possible it stopped because of the "did you miss me" and other behaviors. He might have been being nice to the new person and that's all.

Concentrate on the job because really, that's why you are there. A lot of temporary jobs turn into permanent ones if they see something worthwhile in you.


Well, that staring and flirting happened up to the end of last week. When I got into work this week, it had all stopped like someone turned off a tap! No idea why?? You're right. It's foolish to push the way I have been doing. It's just the job is temporary and now because I pushed it a bit I've lost a possible friend.

It's possible it stopped because of the "did you miss me" and other behaviors. He might have been being nice to the new person and that's all.

Concentrate on the job because really, that's why you are there. A lot of temporary jobs turn into permanent ones if they see something worthwhile in you.

Thank you for your advice. I plan to work hard and hopefully extend my 6 month contract in this job.

And perhaps other co workers complained, could be a higher boss noticed and told him to stop. Romance is the fastest way to lose a job.